Bailz Has a Blog

Hello and Welcome!

My name is Bailz. I’m a recovering people-pleaser turned self-discovery explorer, on a mission to document the beautiful chaos of figuring it all out. Here I am sharing my journey of growth, healing, and radical self-acceptance – the real, the raw, and the in-between.

  • ✨ Aaaaaand We’re Back!

    Today is the first day I’ve genuinely felt like myself in… honestly, I don’t even know how long. Definitely not since starting this blog. I’ve had flickers of my true self here and there—but they’ve been fleeting.

    This morning, I woke up ready. Ready to participate in my life again. Ready to take the reins.

    Now, I know what you might be thinking: It must be because I finally did all those things I said I would yesterday, right?

    Nope. Not even close. I managed to do a yoga video with Heath, but that is it.

    Instead, Heath and I talked. For hours. And not surface-level, small talk—we had an open, vulnerable, honest conversation that I didn’t realize I’d been aching for. I cracked open, and the floodgates came down. I spoke things I didn’t even know I’d been bottling up.

    And because I’m committed to documenting this journey truthfully, I want to share some of what we talked about—with Heath’s blessing, of course.

    💼 Generational Echoes

    Growing up, and honestly even now, my dad has always been a workaholic. And to be fair—he’s brilliant at what he does. His work ethic is unmatched. But it also meant that work almost always came first. Even on vacations or holidays, he’d be on his laptop, answering emails, solving problems.

    He never missed the big things—he was there, camera in hand, documenting every milestone “for posterity.” But day-to-day? He was rarely fully with us.

    I adore my dad. But I missed him a lot growing up. I wanted more time, more attention, more connection.

    And as they say—we often marry a version of our parents.

    Heath is also a workaholic. And just like my dad, he’s phenomenal at what he does. He manages a large team, he cares deeply about people, and he pours his heart into his job. It’s one of the things I love most about him.

    But sometimes, that passion means there’s not much left for anything else at the end of the day. I often get what feels like scraps of his attention, and I convince myself it’s fine. That I’m strong enough. That this is normal.

    But over time, it chipped away at me.

    😔 Loneliness in the Quiet Moments

    What I hadn’t realized until last night is that the loneliness had grown louder than I’d allowed myself to admit. Even when he was sitting right next to me, I missed him.

    I finally said the words I had been afraid to speak for years:

    “I’m scared you work so much because you don’t want to be home with me.”
    “I’m scared that if I left, you’d be fine—maybe even relieved because you would have more time and energy for work.”
    “I feel like I only get the best version of you when you’re away from work—and the rest of the time, I’m just… managing.”

    I let it all out—my fears, my longing, the echoes of my childhood loneliness. I laid it bare, and for the first time, I felt fully seen.

    He didn’t get defensive. He heard me. And that changed everything.

    ☀️ A New Kind of Morning

    No, I wasn’t asleep by 10 PM. It was closer to 3 AM. But I still woke up lighter.

    I let myself sleep in. Then I got up, brushed my teeth, high-fived myself in the mirror (thanks, Mel Robbins), laced up my sneakers, and stepped onto my walk pad. I walked for 45 minutes and watched The Office, comfort food for my soul.

    (Side note: If you haven’t watched the Superfan episodes on Peacock—what are you even doing? It’s like getting bonus time with old friends. I highly, highly recommend them.)

    After walking, I did some stretches, took some slow, deep belly breaths, and actually felt my body again. Not just existing in it—being in it. Sweaty, a little winded, and so very alive.

    🍝 A Simple Kind of Joy

    After walking, stretching, breathing, and then showering, I volunteered as tribute to go grocery shopping. We needed a few things, so I threw on a cute outfit and made a Trader Joe’s trip feel like a mini adventure.

    No overthinking. No dread. Just me, out in the world, present.

    I sang my heart out to The Tortured Poets Department in the car. I chatted with the cashier. I picked up treats for the dogs. I got complimented on my outfit. And the best part? I didn’t feel overwhelmed once.

    That is HUGE for me.

    🌱 Lighter, Not Fixed (Yet)

    I still have goals I’m not quite meeting. I still have healing to do. But today felt like a turning point.

    All because I said the things I was afraid to say.

    I told the truth—not just to Heath, but to myself.

    And in doing so, I put down a weight I didn’t realize I’d been carrying.

    I feel lighter. I feel more like me.

    I’m not all the way back, but I’m on my way.

    And that, my friends, is enough for today. 💜

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  • Worse Than I Thought

    Yesterday, I realized that my mental health had been doing much worse this past week than I wanted to admit. I was in supreme denial about how negative my thoughts had become, how loud they were, and how often they showed up. On top of that, I was beating myself up for even having them.

    I tried to just push through — do the things, stay distracted, and hope I’d magically wake up better one day. But on Saturday, I woke up and couldn’t stop crying.

    “What’s the point of any of this? Why am I even trying? I’ll always struggle. I’ll always hate myself a little bit. I’ll always feel like this.”

    That afternoon, I had tickets to the Life of a Showgirl release party movie with a friend. I knew I needed to get up, shower, and get dressed. But I cried through all of it. I didn’t really pull myself together until about 30 minutes before my friend arrived to pick me up. Even then, I wasn’t myself. I was quiet, going through the motions, and just… sad. I’m glad I went and spent time with my friend, but I didn’t appreciate it in the moment as much as I could have.

    🚩 When the Signs Were There

    Looking back, I should have recognized things were bad on Thursday night/early Friday morning, when the brand-new Taylor Swift album came out. Normally, I love Taylor Swift. Her lyrics have been a lifeline for me for years. But this time, I listened to the album out of obligation more than joy. I didn’t feel excited. I didn’t count down the hours until release. I didn’t make a cute outfit for the party or obsessively check Instagram for Easter egg theories. I just… didn’t care.

    At first, I thought maybe I just didn’t like the album. Now I realize: I didn’t like anything that much at the time.

    🖤 Going Dark

    So on Saturday, while crying through getting ready, I put the album on again to prep for the show. Even after listening through twice, the funk lingered. All through the show, all through the afternoon, I felt completely dark.

    Heath had a company picnic that day, so he was gone most of the afternoon. When he got home, I was a shell of myself on the couch watching Gilmore Girls, barely able to look at him. He could see something was wrong. He started asking gentle questions, and then the last one was:

    “Are you going dark?”
    “Yes.”

    “Dark” is our word for when things feel about as bad as they can get. Saying it out loud helped. Heath gave me a hug, snuggled me on the couch, and watched Gilmore Girls with me for the rest of the night — even asking questions about the characters and plot. (I think he might secretly be becoming a fan!)

    Later, I spoke up and said I wanted chips and queso. We ordered Torchy’s delivery. Never underestimate the healing powers of chips and queso. We talked a little bit, and I felt myself come back — just a bit.

    🌤️ Choosing to Come Back

    Today, mentally, I feel better. I’m not “dark” anymore. But emotionally and physically, I’m drained. I slept until noon, and I still feel like I could crawl back into bed. Now that I’ve acknowledged how bad it was, though, it feels like it has less power over me.

    Looking back, I see how quickly I slipped into old patterns: shaming myself, measuring my worth by productivity, “should-ing” all over myself, dwelling on the past, neglecting my self-care habits. I haven’t done a full yoga practice in over a week. I haven’t been on the walk pad. I haven’t been present.

    So today, I’m making myself a promise:

    • 💜 I will get back on track, gently.
    • 🧘‍♀️ I will do yoga.
    • 🚶 I will walk.
    • 🌌 I will check in with the astrology for this week.
    • 📚 I will read something uplifting about happiness.
    • 📵 I will stay off my phone as much as possible.
    • 🌙 I will start curating a nighttime routine that is authentically me — one that helps me wind down and sleep well.

    My goal is to be in bed and asleep by 10 PM every night. I’m a lifelong night owl, and turning my brain off at bedtime is hard. But this is my project now.

    🔁 Healing Isn’t Linear

    Progress, setbacks, and forward movement again — it’s all part of it. I can still bring myself back. But I can’t keep it bottled up. Speaking up matters. Showing up matters.

    Even when it’s hard.
    Even when it’s messy.
    Even when it’s just a post like this.

    Thank you for being here. 💜

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  • The Little Ways I’m Coming Back to Myself

    Hello, friends 👋

    Today has been another slow day, but I can feel myself starting to come back to myself. I’ve still got a ways to go, but the fog is lifting bit by bit. And for now, that’s enough.

    It still takes effort—more than I’d like—to truly let go and relax. That voice in the back of my mind is still whispering: “Don’t waste this time! You should be doing more. You’ve rested plenty. Let’s go!”

    But I’m getting better at replying: “Yeah, yeah, I hear you. But I’m going to snuggle up on the couch and enjoy this episode of Gilmore Girls anyway.”

    💗 A Little Help From My Favorite Human

    Heath worked from home today, and honestly, his presence made a huge difference. This afternoon, he surprised me with a little at-home spa setup—he arranged a cozy chair with a back massager, brought out the foot bath, made sure I had snacks, and told me to just relax.

    So I sat. I soaked. I snacked. I let the knots in my back melt a little. I watched TV. I laughed. I cried. I breathed. I was present.

    It wasn’t glamorous, but it was meaningful.

    🛁✨ The Power of Ritual

    Since getting home from Guthrie, I’ve returned to one of my favorite self-care rituals: nightly baths. Every evening, I draw a warm bath and take time to reconnect with myself.

    Lately, I’ve been treating myself to some beautiful bath soaks from Flewd—my current favorite is called “Sads Smashing” (fitting, right?). They’re clean, fragrant, and formulated with emotional and physical well-being in mind.

    I turn on my galaxy light, set a timer for 30 minutes, and listen to something soothing—sometimes Mel Robbins, sometimes an audiobook, sometimes sound frequencies focused on relaxation, chakra healing, or self-love. I hydrate well before, during, and after.

    This little ritual is helping me reestablish trust with myself. It’s saying: “You matter. You’re worth taking care of.” Not just on the good days—but on the hard ones and the quiet, in-between ones too.

    🤍 A Gentle Reminder

    This phase of my life isn’t flashy or exciting. But it is sacred in its own way. I’m learning how to rest. How to let go. How to be soft with myself. And how to believe that small acts of care are more than enough.

    As always, thank you for walking through this journey with me.

    💜 Bailz

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  • ✨ Anxious, But Still Showing Up

    I’m still struggling with sleeping through the night, so today… I’m not feeling my best.

    There’s been a constant buzz of anxiety in my chest, and my mind hasn’t wanted to settle down. I’ve felt too restless to sit still or focus on anything quiet, so I decided to channel that energy into cleaning the house.

    🧼 Today’s healing activities included:

    • Unpacking the rest of our bags from the trip
    • Running laundry and dishes
    • Changing the sheets
    • Vacuuming and mopping the floors
    • Wiping down counters
    • Playing The Office in the background for comfort

    It’s been a productive day in terms of tidying up, and I’m feeling mildly accomplished—but I’m also still carrying that anxious energy. I’m feeling self-critical. Doubtful. Tender. A little too in my head.

    And still—I showed up.

    I don’t have anything groundbreaking to say today. But maybe that’s the point. I’m not here to prove anything or impress anyone. I’m just here to document the process. The real, messy, honest parts of it.

    🌀 It is okay to be a work in progress.
    And I will keep reminding myself of that as many times as I need to.

    Thank you for being here.

    With love,
    💜 Bailz

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  • 🌿 A Work-in-Progress Kind of Day

    First things first—my doctor said everything on my CT scan looked normal. That news brought an enormous sense of relief, and I’m incredibly grateful. 🌤️

    That said… I’m also feeling deeply drained. I didn’t fully realize how tense I’d been until we walked out of the doctor’s office. It felt like every muscle in my body had been clenched for days without me even noticing.

    🧬 Relief Isn’t the Same as Resolution

    While I’m beyond thankful that the scan didn’t show anything alarming, I’m still dealing with some uncomfortable symptoms. So the worry hasn’t completely vanished—it’s just shifted.

    I’ve started taking a new set of supplements—high-quality vitamins and herbs—to support my physical, mental, and emotional well-being. I’m hopeful that staying consistent with them will bring some clarity and comfort soon. 🌱

    📺 Switching the Channel

    Today is another day for gentleness and rest. But instead of another episode of The Office, I’ve started a rewatch of Gilmore Girls. It’s been years since I’ve watched it, but our weekend in Guthrie brought it back into my orbit. The local bookstore, A Novel Idea, hosted a Gilmore Girls-themed event that transformed downtown Guthrie into Stars Hollow for a day—and it totally charmed me. 💫

    So today felt like the perfect time to press play and ease into a little cozy nostalgia.

    🛁 Soft Focus

    The rest of the day is dedicated to quiet comforts: a long bath, some gentle yoga, journaling, and (most likely) a nap. I don’t have much to say today—and that’s okay.

    My inner critic, of course, has opinions: “What’s the point? Who’s going to care? You’re not doing anything important.” But I’m doing my best to shush that voice. Because truthfully, this—this slowing down, this reframing, this being—is the whole point of what I’m doing here.

    I’m reworking my relationship with rest. I’m learning to believe that rest has value even when it doesn’t come with a checklist or an epiphany attached.

    💜 Progress Isn’t Always Loud

    I’m reminding myself—over and over—that my worth is not measured by how much I accomplish. I’m showing up and sharing today, even when I don’t feel particularly wise or inspiring.

    This blog is about honesty, vulnerability, and the messy middle. And today? Today is a work-in-progress kind of day. And that’s more than enough.

    Thank you for being here with me, even on the quiet days. 🫶
    More stories from the life of Bailz coming soon. 💜

  • 🐢 Slow and Steady

    Today has been a better day. I still feel a little off balance, but I can feel myself gently moving in the right direction. Little by little. I even high-fived the mirror twice this morning. 🙌

    I’m taking better care of myself, though I’ll be honest—my mind is still racing a bit.

    🩺 Scanxiety & Staying Grounded

    Yesterday afternoon, I had a CT scan with contrast dye. It’s been almost two years since my last chemotherapy treatment, and recently, a few of my old symptoms have started creeping back in. A few weeks ago, I had bloodwork done and my oncologist said everything looked good—but because of the symptoms, he ordered this scan to be safe.

    I go in for results tomorrow morning. I’m hopeful that everything is fine. But… it’s hard not to think about it. The waiting, the what-ifs, the heavy swirl of uncertainty—it’s a lot.

    So in the meantime, I’m doing my best to stay grounded, stay gentle, and keep my mind occupied with things that bring me joy.

    🛁 Cozy Comforts & Simple Wins

    Right now, self-care looks like this:

    • Wearing my comfiest clothes 🧦
    • Snuggling with the dogs 🐶
    • Watching The Office Superfan episodes 📺
    • Resting when I feel like it 💤
    • Taking a long bath while listening to The Little Book of Hygge 🕯️
    • Hydrating, eating, and staying on top of my supplements 🥤🍽️💊

    I’ve tidied the house a little—just enough to feel clear-minded—but I’m not pushing myself. I ran the robot vacuum/mop, did the dishes, and straightened up the kitchen and living room. And honestly? That’s enough for today.

    If I do more, great. If I don’t, that’s okay too.

    💜 Grace Over Guilt

    There are no expectations today. No lists, no pressure, no “shoulds.” Just soft care. Just showing up for myself in small, meaningful ways.

    My body and spirit are asking for rest, so I’m doing my best to listen. I’ll keep watching my comfort show. I’ll roll out my yoga mat for a few slow stretches. I’ll breathe deeply. I’ll try—really try—to give myself grace.

    Slow and steady. Gentle and kind. That’s the only path forward right now.

    Thanks for being here with me.

    Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz 💜

  • ⚖️ I Lost My Balance

    Yesterday, we got home from a long weekend in Guthrie, Oklahoma. We were married there six months ago, and it felt wonderful to be back—to revisit the place where we said “I do,” to celebrate, and to spend quality time with some of the beautiful people we’ve met along the way. Truly, it was a gift.

    That being said… even though it was a joyful trip, I lost my balance.

    🥄 Travel + Appetite = A Familiar Pattern

    One of my biggest ongoing struggles when I travel is food. My appetite tends to disappear almost entirely. It’s like a switch gets flipped. And while it’s happening, I usually don’t acknowledge it as a problem. For the first few days, I feel fine. I nibble here and there—maybe one meal a day—and pretend it’s no big deal. I’m caught up in the change of scenery, in the excitement of where we are and who we’re with. Food just doesn’t feel like a priority.

    This trip was no different.

    🥃 Too Little Fuel, Too Much Bourbon

    Not only was I under-fueling my body, but I was also drinking a fair amount. I told myself it was for special occasions, that it was social, that we were on vacation and “no harm, no foul.” And at first, that story worked. But now, with some space and clarity, I can see that I overdid it—and I’m feeling the effects. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. Deeply.

    😵‍💫 No Sleep, No Stillness

    Sleep didn’t come easy either. Each night, I woke up multiple times—my thoughts racing, anxiety buzzing through my body, tossing and turning for hours. I wasn’t able to rest, and I wasn’t giving myself space to recharge. I was operating in “go mode” without pressing pause.

    Looking back, I realize I abandoned many of the gentle, grounding practices that have been helping me so much lately. I didn’t write. I didn’t read. I didn’t prioritize rest. I wasn’t even high-fiving myself in the mirror.

    I was so focused on making the most of the trip, I ended up neglecting the progress I’ve been so intentionally making. And I started “should-ing” all over myself. I ignored the signs. I pushed through the fatigue. And I didn’t listen to what my body or heart was trying to say.

    😔 The Breaking Point

    It’s been a very long time since I’ve drunkenly cried in a bar bathroom —but yep, that happened on Saturday night. I was that girl. And honestly? I’m embarrassed.

    I lost myself a bit. I made choices I’m not proud of. And they feel heavy. I didn’t give myself enough recovery time between social activities. I didn’t pause. I didn’t refuel. I didn’t check in with my own needs. I just kept going and going until I ran out of steam—and then kept going anyway.

    🌫️ Shame & Burnout

    As I sit down to write this post, I feel… off. Disappointed. Drained. A little ashamed. And lost.

    But I also know this: I’m not broken. I didn’t ruin anything. I just lost my balance. And balance, thankfully, can always be restored.

    🌀 Coming Back to Center

    Today marks the beginning of my return to equilibrium. I’ve been resting. Hydrating. Taking slow breaths. Reminding myself to be gentle, even when that voice in my head wants to be harsh.

    This is the work. It’s not always pretty, and it’s not always linear. But this is the practice: falling out of alignment, noticing it, and lovingly guiding myself back.

    If you’ve ever lost your footing after doing something brave, exciting, or exhausting—if you’ve ever felt like you “should have known better”—I want you to know: me too. And it’s okay.

    We find our balance again. One breath, one nourishing bite, one kind thought at a time.

    Thanks for holding space for my honesty. Here’s to the messy middle, and to the comeback.

    As always, thank you for being here! Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz 💜

  • 🧼 So Fresh and So Clean

    One of the many goals I’ve set for myself on this journey is to keep my space consistently clean and calm. A tidy space helps me feel grounded, clear-headed, and proud of my environment—which is something I’m actively learning to prioritize.

    While I’ve been doing a pretty good job overall, I’ll admit: the weekend got a little cluttered. So today, I decided it was time for a home reset.

    🧳 Getting Ready to Travel

    We’re heading out of town in a few days, and that added some extra motivation. I wanted to leave the house feeling fresh and welcoming for our return. So I spent the day cycling through the classic checklist:

    • 🧺 Laundry
    • 🛏️ Changed the sheets
    • 🍽️ Did the dishes
    • 🪴 Watered the plants
    • 🧹 Dusted and decluttered
    • 🧳 Packed what I could
    • 🧼 Vacuumed and mopped the floors

    It felt so good to go from room to room and really care for the space I call home. Not perfectly—just intentionally.

    🎧 A Little Hygge, A Little Mel

    I’ve also been multitasking a bit. While I cleaned, I listened to two episodes of the Mel Robbins podcast and started the audiobook The Little Book of Hygge. Both were excellent companions for my day and helped me feel like I was nourishing my environment and my mindset. Win-win.

    🗣️ The Inner Critic Tried to Interrupt

    As much as I tried to be present, my inner critic made sure I knew she was still in the room. Mid-dusting, she started whispering:

    “Hey… you haven’t written your blog post yet. When are you going to do that? You HAVE to do it.”

    Oof.

    I gently reminded her—many times—that I can only do one thing at a time. Right now, I’m cleaning. I’ll write when I’m done. I’ll worry about writing when I’m done.

    Was it easy? No. I had to shush her constantly. But I kept pulling my attention back to the present moment, and slowly, it got easier. That’s what this is: practice. One intentional breath, one focused task at a time.

    🪞 Gentle Progress, Not Perfection

    This isn’t going to be an overnight transformation. Silencing my inner critic—learning to trust myself—will take time. But I believe it’s worth the effort. Every time I interrupt that anxious voice with compassion and presence, I’m making progress.

    I’m learning that I can be gentle with myself and consistent with my goals. I don’t have to be perfect to be proud. I just have to keep showing up—one step at a time, one day at a time.

    Thank you for being here. I’m so glad we’re doing this together 💜

  • 🌀 Have to? Get to!

    Hello and Happy Monday!
    I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I know I sure did—it was busy, it was social, and it was absolutely beautiful.

    Lately, a lot of my focus has been centered on reframing—shifting my perspective and trying to see things in a more positive, grounded light. It’s a practice I’m still learning, but I’m already seeing how powerful it can be.

    And this weekend reminded me of a phrase that has meant a lot to me over the years:

    “Have to? GET to.”

    Let me take you back to the origin story.

    When I was 15, Green Day was touring for their American Idiot album, and my wonderful dad somehow scored tickets for our family of four. My sister and I were obsessed with Green Day at the time—this was a very big deal.

    When we got to the venue and started making our way to our seats, my mom looked down at the arena floor—the standing room only section—and said something like,
    “Oh, those poor people, they have to be standing down there the whole time?”
    Without even thinking, I responded:
    “Have to? GET to!”

    And it just… stuck.

    🔄 Reframing the Everyday

    I didn’t realize how powerful that mindset shift was until much later—when I found myself burned out, detached, and drowning in “have to” energy.

    Somewhere along the way, I had stopped choosing my life. I was moving through my days like everything was an obligation—even the things I wanted to do. Depression had dulled everything, and I couldn’t see it clearly until I paused. I rested. I got honest with myself. And I started listening to that quiet inner voice again.

    Perspective matters.
    How you look at things matters.

    ✨ This Weekend, I Got To…

    If I had approached this weekend with my old mindset, it would have wrecked me. I would’ve seen my calendar and thought:
    “Ugh, I have to go to all these things…”

    I would have spiraled into anxiety or shame. Maybe even canceled. Maybe convinced myself I wasn’t up for it.

    But I didn’t do that.
    Instead, I asked myself:
    “What if I looked at all of this as something I get to do?”

    Suddenly, I was overwhelmed—not with stress, but with gratitude.

    How lucky am I to have people who want to spend time with me?
    How lucky that I genuinely adore those people back?

    Yes, I’m tired. I slept 12 hours last night.
    But my heart is full.

    Yesterday, I got to catch up with a friend I haven’t seen in years. I got to meet her beautiful children. Later, another dear friend came over and I got to hang out with him and my husband all afternoon. What a gift.

    💜 Let “Get To” Lead the Way

    I know I’ll still fall into “have to” thinking sometimes. I’m human. It’s a habit I’ve spent years reinforcing.

    But I’m working on changing the story.
    And keeping “get to” at the center helps.

    So today, I invite you to try this with me.

    When you catch yourself dreading something or slipping into overwhelm, pause.
    Ask yourself:
    “What if I get to do this?”

    You might be surprised how much it softens everything.

    Thanks for being here.
    Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz 💜

  • ✨ Speaking Up & Showing Up ✨

    Today turned out to be a fabulous day—and I almost talked myself out of it. If I hadn’t been intentionally practicing presence and mindfulness, I would’ve stayed home. And I’m so glad I didn’t.

    My husband and I were invited to a baby shower for a friend from work—well, from my old job and his current one. And I came very close to skipping it and letting Heath go solo. Not because I didn’t want to celebrate our friend, but because I felt vulnerable. I was so nervous. I changed my outfit twice. Even as we were walking out the door, I still didn’t feel settled.

    I hadn’t seen any of these people since I quit. And I felt hesitant about telling anyone what I’m doing these days. I’m still unlearning the belief that if I’m not “working” in the traditional sense, then I’m not doing anything worth talking about. That old story still creeps in.

    Even as we were leaving the house, I was waffling. But I reminded myself: the odds are, I’ll be glad I went. Even if part of me wants to stay home now, the future version of me probably won’t regret going. I’ve been listening to a LOT of Mel Robbins lately, and I could practically hear her voice in my head saying, Go. Show up for your life. So I did.

    🎧 A Small Yes That Shifted Everything

    It was about an hour drive to the party, and I kept thinking about The Let Them Theory audiobook. Since I recently wrote about it, it’s been on my mind a lot. I read the hard copy the first time around, but I had a hunch the audiobook would hit differently.

    Still, every time I thought about suggesting it, I silenced myself. Until I caught what I was doing—shrinking again. I asked myself: What’s the worst that could happen? He might say he’s not in the mood. That’s not so scary.

    So I trusted the nudge.

    “Hey, since we have a bit of a drive there and back, want to listen to an audiobook?”
    “Sure!”
    “I have The Let Them Theory. Want to try that?”
    (Pause)
    “Yeah, that sounds good!”

    And just like that, boom. A tiny moment of bravery. I spoke up. Not a massive thing on the surface, but it changed the tone of my entire day. It made me feel confident, seen, and self-trusting. My voice mattered.

    ☕ And Then… Starbucks Magic

    About ten minutes into the drive, another nudge hit me: Starbucks. I wanted coffee. Really badly.

    Cue my inner narrator writing a dramatic script in my head about how inconvenient it would be, how Heath might say no, how we didn’t have time. But again, I caught myself. We were already listening to my audiobook because I spoke up—why stop there?

    “Hey, can I ask a favor?”
    “Of course, what’s up?”
    “Can we stop at Starbucks if we see one?”
    “Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem!”

    I kid you not—the very next exit had a sign. One option listed. Starbucks.

    I’ve had a lot of pumpkin spice lattes in my life, but that one? That one tasted like a win. Not because of the drink itself, but because I earned it by honoring my own voice—twice.

    🎉 The Shower That Nearly Wasn’t

    By the time we got to the baby shower, I was buzzing. Still a little nervous, but it felt more like excitement than dread. That kind of energy used to send me into a spiral. I would’ve mistaken it for fear and let it swallow me whole. But not today. I breathed through it, reminded myself that I was safe, and walked in with an open heart.

    And y’all—it was a fantastic afternoon.

    I laughed. I caught up with old coworkers. I had fun. But the cherry on top? Several people told me they’ve been reading my blog—and they like it.

    WHAT?!?

    Compliments have never been easy for me. They feel like wearing jeans straight out of the dryer—tight and awkward. But I did my best to receive them graciously. It meant so much to hear that people not only read my words but resonated with them.

    And to think—I almost missed all of that.

    🌱 From Good to Great

    If I had stayed home, I’m sure the day would’ve still been good. I might’ve journaled, drafted a post, tidied the house. But instead, I took a chance. I showed up. I spoke up. I gave myself the opportunity to move from good to great.

    Every day, I see more evidence that the work I’m doing is working. Today, the proof came in the form of little wins: saying what I wanted, asking for what I needed, and showing up even when it felt easier not to.

    And I’m so glad I did.

    Thank you for being here. Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz. 💜