Bailz Has a Blog

Tag: authentic living

  • 🎨 My Week Two Artist Date: A Conversation with Beauty

    🎨 My Week Two Artist Date: A Conversation with Beauty

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Wednesday, everyone! 👋

    As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. In addition to daily morning pages, she also recommends a weekly Artist Date — and I just got back home from mine for this week, so I wanted to share a little bit about it.

    🌿 What Is an Artist Date?

    Great question! Cameron describes it as:

    “A block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness — your inner artist.”

    She also notes that:

    “You do not take anyone on this artist date but you and your inner artist, a.k.a. your creative child.”

    So essentially, it’s a weekly solo adventure meant to refill your creative well — no productivity required, no audience to impress.

    💅 Week One: Playing It Safe

    For my first Artist Date, I played it pretty safe and took myself to get my nails done. I incorporated the “artist” part by intuitively choosing a different color than usual — red this time instead of my signature black. Small shift, big statement.

    🖼️ Week Two: The Kimbell Art Museum

    For week two, I wanted to stretch myself a bit and really lean into the artist concept.

    After my chiropractor appointment this morning, I decided that today would be my Artist Date day. I took myself to the Kimbell Art Museum here in Fort Worth. I’ve been before, but never by myself — so this experience was new and exciting, but also a little intimidating.

    I’m not really a “go-do-stuff-by-myself” kind of gal, but I’m working on that. And today was a great exercise in doing something just for me.

    ✨ Letting Art Be Enough

    I wandered for about an hour and a half, just soaking in the beauty of the paintings and sculptures on display.

    Within the first few minutes, I knew I was going to want to write about my experience here on the blog. I was so tempted to shape my visit around that — taking photos, making notes, writing the post in my head as I went. But I stopped myself.

    The whole point was to take my inner artist out — just me and her, looking at some art together. Not to turn the experience into a performance.

    So, I decided to simply be there. To let beauty do what beauty does best — speak without words.

    I only took one photo: Caravaggio’s Judith Beheading Holofernes (on loan from Rome). It was… pretty rad.

    🧘‍♀️ Coming Home to Myself

    Now that I’m back home, I plan to do some yoga and get my steps in on the walk pad. As much as I’m feeling the pull toward a nap, I’m trying to hold off and stay consistent with the rhythm I’m building.

    Last night, I started a new bedtime routine to help me reset my sleep cycle. (Shoutout to ChatGPT for helping me design it — it’s a whole two-hour wind-down process that gets me in bed, lights out, by 10 p.m.)

    Even though it still took me a little while to drift off, I didn’t reach for my phone or my book after ten. I kept my eye mask on and focused on my breathing.

    Any time my thoughts wandered, instead of beating myself up, I gently thought:

    “That’s nice. I’m going to focus back on my breathing now.”

    It felt strange at first — but so good to be nice to myself.

    💭 Learning to Be Kind Inside My Own Head

    Now that I’m really paying attention to how I talk to myself, I’m realizing how incredibly negative I’ve been for so long — maybe my whole life. I used to justify it as self-improvement, but honestly, it only made things harder.

    So, I’m trying something new: gentle self-compassion. And it seems to be working.

    My night sweats are still lingering, but they’re so much better than before. I didn’t have to get up or change clothes last night — which feels like a win! I’m hoping that as I keep focusing on healing my body and my mind (through chiropractic care, yoga, walking, better nutrition, and real rest), the physical symptoms will fade, and I can turn my full energy toward the deeper work — inner child healing, and learning to move through the world with less fear and more faith.

    Because honestly? Everything feels more manageable when I’m sleeping well.

    🌙 Closing Thoughts

    So, fingers crossed that things will only improve from here — but even if progress is slow, I’m learning to celebrate the small shifts.

    Today reminded me that healing doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes it’s just you, quietly standing in front of a painting, remembering that beauty exists — and that you belong to it.

    Here’s to more Artist Dates, more gentle self-talk, and more days that feel like a deep breath. 🌸

    Thank you for being here with me on this journey! I am so grateful for you all!

    Love always, Bailz 💜

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  • 🌅 Morning Pages, Affirmations, and the Art of Showing Up (Even When You Don’t Want To)

    🌅 Morning Pages, Affirmations, and the Art of Showing Up (Even When You Don’t Want To)

    I’m currently on week two of working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and I’m really enjoying the process so far. The biggest change I’ve incorporated is what Cameron calls morning pages — and let me tell you, they’ve been transformative.

    Every morning, as soon as I wake up, I sit at the kitchen table and write three full pages, longhand, in pure stream-of-consciousness style. I put the date and time at the top of the first page and just let it flow.

    Some mornings start with:

    • “I’m pissed off today because I’m so tired and annoyed with my night sweats.”
    • “I just feel angry today.”
    • “I don’t know what to write, I don’t know what to write,” — repeated for half a page until something new bubbles up, and off I go.

    Not always, but usually, by the time I reach the end of my third page, I feel lighter. Still tired, yes — but no longer radiating rage. After those three pages, I fill one more page (front and back) with affirmations inspired by a Mel Robbins podcast I recently watched:

    🎧 8 Things to Say to Yourself Every Morning to Change Your Life

    💬 The Affirmations I Write Each Day:

    • Today is going to be a great day.
    • Something cool is going to happen to me today.
    • No matter what happens today, I can handle it.
    • An exciting new chapter is beginning.
    • I need to give myself more credit for how hard I’m trying.
    • I am allowed to be a work in progress.
    • If I keep showing up, life will reward me.
    • I have something important to contribute to the world.

    Once I finish my three pages, I repeat those eight affirmations four times, which fills a front and back page perfectly. And when I’m done? I usually feel capable — sometimes even motivated enough to hop on the walk pad or roll out the yoga mat almost immediately without really having to talk myself into it. Considering how I often start these pages with “I’m so freaking angry right now,” that feels pretty miraculous.

    🌞 The Power of Showing Up

    There have been several mornings where I’ve wanted to skip the pages — to tell myself, “I’ll do them later.” But they’re not called whenever-you-want pages. They’re called morning pages. So I’ve stuck with them, and I’m honestly proud of that.

    This morning, though, was a real test.

    I was asleep by midnight with my alarm set for 8:00 AM so I could be up in time for my chiropractor appointment. But around 4:45, I woke up drenched in sweat — again. I changed clothes, moved to the guest room, and lay there for an hour before I fell back asleep. When I finally did, I had nightmares until Winston barked just before my alarm went off.

    I was furious when I got up. Bone-tired and frustrated. But I still sat down and wrote. The pages were messy, cranky, and full of complaints — but that’s the point. The act of writing helps me let go. I’d rather vent to the page than carry it in my chest all day.

    💫 Affirmations, Adjustments, and Exhaustion

    When I finished my pages, I tried to bargain with myself about skipping affirmations. “I’m tired. I have my appointment soon. I’ll do them later.” But I caught myself — that’s exactly when I need them most. So I did them anyway. I wrote fast, a little sloppy, but I still did them. And that counts.

    After that, I went to my chiropractic appointment. Dr. Lauren said she got everything adjusted that she wanted to today, which is great news. I’m a little sore, especially in my hips and neck, but that’s expected — my muscles are adjusting to the bones being where they’re supposed to be again.

    I wish I could say that put me in a great mood, but honestly, my sleep deprivation is catching up with me. I am so tired. I can’t remember the last time I woke up dry, or rested, or without dread in my chest. When that’s your normal, it wears you down.

    Heath and I have been doing a ton of research to figure out what’s causing it. I’ve adjusted my diet, started supplements, drastically reduced alcohol, added protein before bed, hydrated more, and focused on nervous system regulation. I’m doing everything right — and nothing’s working yet. It’s defeating. But I’m still hopeful that as my body continues to rebalance through chiropractic care and all the other work I’m doing, relief will come.

    When I got home from my appointment, I crawled back into bed for a nap. I woke up sweaty and cranky again, but I’m trying to stay patient. I know things will get better eventually. I have to believe that. Otherwise, I’ll lose my mind.

    For now, I’m just taking it one page, one stretch, one affirmation at a time.

    💜
    Love always,
    Bailz

    ✨ If you’re on your own healing or creative journey, I hope this reminds you that showing up for yourself doesn’t have to be perfect — it just has to be consistent. Every word, every stretch, every act of care counts. You’re doing better than you think. 💜

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  • 🌀 A Spine-Tingling Update (Literally)

    🌀 A Spine-Tingling Update (Literally)

    Well, I had my follow-up with the chiropractor this afternoon, and MAN is my spine jacked up, y’all! My hips are rotated in ways they should not be, my mid-back is all kinds of tight, and I have some scoliosis in the top part of my spine and neck. Seeing the scans and X-rays definitely got me in my feels.

    I knew it was bad—bad enough to seek help—but I didn’t think it was that bad. Still, after hearing Dr. Lauren explain everything, it all makes sense. A lot of the things I’ve struggled with can be symptoms of a misaligned spine: difficulty sleeping, depression, focus and memory issues, anxiety and stress, allergies and congestion, even ADHD. Crazy, right?

    🌿 The Plan

    We’ve created a 90-day treatment plan, and I’ll be going three days a week for adjustments. Every 30 days, we’ll redo the scans to track progress and fine-tune as needed. I got my first adjustment today—my first in a long time—and oh my goodness, it felt amazing. Especially my neck! It was all kinds of snap, crackle, and pop. She told me to expect some emotional release afterward… and she wasn’t kidding. I cried almost my entire drive home. It felt like a dam finally breaking.

    🧘‍♀️ Movement & Mindfulness

    Before my appointment, I did a short Yoga with Adriene practice to center myself and stretch out. After I got home from my appointment, I hopped on the walk pad—but I changed up my approach. Instead of my usual 45 minutes, I walked for 20 minutes at a slow, steady pace. I wanted to move my body gently today, and that’s exactly what I did.

    Now, as I’m writing this, I’m feeling sore and tired, so the rest of my day is all about gentleness and rest. My plan? Cozy clothes, dogs on the couch, and a good book or two.

    📚 My Healing Companions

    I’m currently reading The Artist’s Way, How to Do the Work, and The Body Keeps the Score—a powerhouse trio for healing the mind, body, and spirit.

    💤 The Ongoing Battle with Sleep

    I’m still really struggling with sleep. Falling asleep feels impossible some nights, and when I finally do, I wake up drenched in sweat—like full wardrobe-change, move-to-another-spot-on-the-bed levels of sweat. It’s exhausting, and I know my lack of rest is affecting everything else. I’m hopeful that with continued chiropractic care and the other work I’m doing, I’ll start seeing some improvement soon.

    💜 The Gentle Reminder

    I’m proud of myself for sticking to my goals—but I’m also proud of myself for listening to my body. Yesterday, I wanted to walk and do yoga, but my body said, “Nope, not today.” So instead, I rested and read, and that was the right call. That’s growth, too.

    I’m not at 100% yet, and that’s okay. I’m still in recovery, and healing takes time. I’m learning that giving myself grace is part of the work. I have a plan, a path, and patience—and that’s enough for today.

    As always, thank you for being here. I am so grateful for you. 💜

    Love always,
    Bailz

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