Bailz Has a Blog

Tag: Beatles fan

  • Unlearning the Urge to Rush

    Unlearning the Urge to Rush

    ✨ Hey, hi, hello! Happy Wednesday!

    Yesterday’s therapy appointment went really well. I learned more about what our sessions will look like going forward — how we’ll approach things as they come up, how we’ll communicate, and how we’ll co-create this healing process. She gave me a few handouts for reference, and honestly? It felt fun to get a little nerdy together and lean into learning.

    After therapy, I headed to Costco for my little “present and mindful” field trip… and it went GREAT. I found almost everything I needed, I didn’t get overwhelmed, and I got in and out with zero panic. That is a huge win for me.

    When I got home, I put everything away, made myself some dinner, and waited for Heath to get home. We spent a cozy night together — one episode of Great British Baking Show, then reading side-by-side on the couch before winding down for bed. Pure comfort.

    🌅 This Morning Felt Different — In the Best Way

    Last night, I got myself into bed on time. I still struggled to fall asleep (my brain loves to party), but I honored my routine anyway. And this morning… I felt more on track than I have in a while.

    My alarm went off and instead of the usual groan of “ugh, already?” — I just stretched, snuggled the dogs for a minute, and got up. I stepped outside for a few minutes of sunlight, then came back in for morning pages, affirmations, breakfast shake, and supplements. After that, I got dressed and headed to the chiropractor.

    Slow, steady, grounded. It felt good.

    ⚡️ The Constant Urge to Rush — and Undoing It

    Something I’m actively working on right now is my lifelong habit of rushing… through everything.

    Brushing my teeth. Making breakfast. Reading a book. Cleaning the house. Watching a show. Doing yoga. Even resting.

    There’s this relentless voice in my head saying:

    “Go! Go! Go! Faster! Faster! Faster!”

    Heart racing. Jaw clenched. Muscles tight. Breath shallow.
    Even when there’s no urgency, my body behaves like something terrible is chasing me.

    So I’m learning to catch myself in those moments — to pause, breathe deeply, and remind myself:

    “I am safe. Nothing is chasing me. This can take as long as it takes.”

    This morning, I intentionally slowed down while getting ready.
    No frantic energy. No rushing. No panicked clock-checking.

    And leaving the house actually felt… calm.

    🚨 A Little Dog Drama

    About halfway to my chiropractor appointment, I got a notification that the back door had opened — the house alarm was going off.

    My stomach dropped.

    Then I remembered:
    If the back door isn’t locked, the boys can let themselves out. (Too smart for their own good.)

    I turned the alarm off from my phone and called Heath, panicking a little. He checked the cameras and confirmed it was just the dogs doing their thing. We agreed: I’d still go to my appointment and then head straight home.

    So I skipped my original plans of going to the coffee shop after (tomorrow’s treat!) and went straight back home drove back after the appointment instead.

    The boys were SO proud of themselves, completely unaware of the chaos they caused. Honestly… thank goodness they’re so cute.

    🌿 Rest, Reading, and Beatles

    The rest of my afternoon was slow and restorative.

    I tried reading a little bit of my newest fantasy read, A Winter’s Promise, but my brain felt scattered. Instead of forcing it, I curled up on the couch and let myself rest — half nap, half meditation, all peaceful.

    No shame. No “shoulds.”
    Just quiet.

    When I felt ready, I made a Mediterranean chopped salad (my current obsession) and then got on the walk pad for my 45 minutes.

    While I walked, I started Get Back on Disney+ — the Beatles documentary. After finishing Shout! the other day, I knew it was time for a rewatch. Watching them create songs out of thin air is magic. Pure magic.

    🗺 Planning My Guthrie Reset Trip

    After my walk, I finally sat down to plan something I’ve been wanting to do for a while: a solo overnight trip to Guthrie next week.

    If you know me, you know Guthrie is my happy place — the preserved Victorian architecture, the history, the slower pace, the memories tied to my ancestors and our wedding… it feels like home.

    I booked an Airbnb, messaged a couple of friends up there, and started planning my little itinerary:

    • Breakfast at my favorite spot
    • Walks around downtown
    • Visiting familiar faces
    • Solo writing time
    • A nice steak dinner
    • Rest, reflection, inspiration

    I can’t even tell you how excited I am.

    🌙 Tonight’s Plan

    For the rest of the day, I’m staying on theme: slow, intentional, restorative.

    A moderate yoga practice along with some piano practice as well.
    Some reading or more of Get Back.
    No rushing.
    No forcing.
    Just presence and ease.

    It might be simple, but honestly?

    That’s the kind of life I’ve always wanted.

    💬 Let’s Talk

    What’s one small thing you do (or want to do) to help yourself slow down and be more present in your day?

    ✨ Stay Connected

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    Love always, Bailz 💜

  • Style Shifts, Piano Notes, and Healing in the In-Between

    Style Shifts, Piano Notes, and Healing in the In-Between

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Saturday! 💜

    It’s been a minute since I last posted. Heath was off from work all week, and I wanted to savor as much time with him as possible. We didn’t have a big itinerary or a giant to-do list — we just existed together. And honestly? It was lovely.

    We went on little local adventures, spent quiet time reading side-by-side, binged the entire new season of Stranger Things in one sitting, went thrifting, browsed bookstores, cooked delicious meals, and enjoyed each other’s company in that effortless, easy way that happens when you have nowhere else to be.

    We even tackled a few home projects (cleaning out the pantry… yikes… but rewarding 🙃).

    🧵 Struggling With Style, Self-Image, and Clothes That Don’t Fit Like They Used To

    One thing I’ve been wrestling with lately is that a lot of my clothes don’t fit the same way anymore — and some don’t fit at all. I know my body is healthier now. I know she’s nourished, supported, and taken care of. But even with that awareness, it’s been such a mental hurdle.

    I’d walk into my closet and instantly shut down. I felt like I had nothing to wear… even though half of it still technically fits. It just didn’t feel right anymore. I felt like I had shed my old style but hadn’t yet grown into my new one — and that limbo was shredding my confidence.

    So I turned to my trusty sidekick, ChatGPT, and explained everything I was feeling. And SHE SHOWED UP.

    ChatGPT gave me a whole style quiz to help me zero in on what I actually like and what I want to avoid. Then she created a full vibe board and told me my style aesthetic is:

    ✨ Soft Grunge Moon Witch ✨

    And honestly? She nailed it.

    She also gave me a list of 10 starter pieces for a fresh, curated little capsule wardrobe — and as fate would have it, I already owned half of them. I found a few of the others while thrifting the next day. Blessings upon blessings.

    So right now I’m leaning into comfort and curation:

    • oversized band tees
    • long cozy cardigans
    • Doc Martens
    • leggings or straight-leg jeans
    • oversized flannels
    • my beloved $5 real leather jacket (thrift gods were generous that day 🙌)

    I wore the leather jacket yesterday (now that Texas finally got the memo it’s late November), and it was the first time I felt fully like myself in a while.

    🧘‍♀️ Getting Back Into My Routines (Because They Matter)

    Even with all the fun we had this week, I definitely fell out of my routines — especially my intentional movement. And wow… I felt it. Hard.

    Yesterday I finally got myself back on the walk pad and did some yoga. It’s wild how quickly I started feeling more like myself once I began moving my body on purpose instead of just floating through the day. One intentional step makes such a difference.

    🎹 Learning “Let It Be” (And Healing Little Me)

    I’ve also been practicing the piano again — specifically Let It Be by The Beatles.

    My very first tattoo was “let it be” in cursive on my left wrist, so it feels beautifully full-circle that its the first song I am learning, start to finish.

    I’m still very much a beginner — no dueling pianos or live performances anytime soon — but it’s FUN. And every time I play it with fewer mistakes, I feel a little bit giddy. It’s such a joyful kind of progress.

    I’ve also been reading more of Shout!, the Beatles biography, and between the book and learning the song, I feel like I’m reaching back and holding 11-year-old me’s hand.

    🍽️ Date Night & Mocktails, Please

    Tonight Heath and I are going to use a gift card we received for our wedding and enjoy a really nice dinner out. I’m excited to dress up (rare event!!!) and eat something delicious. I’m still not drinking alcohol, so I’m hoping they have some good mocktail options… but regardless, I’m going to devour some steak and enjoy every bite.

    🌙 Finding Gentleness, Grace, and Actual Rest

    This post feels a little all over the place, but honestly… that’s where I’m at today. A lot has happened, and I wanted to share pieces of it all.

    This week taught me (again) that I can’t bully or shame myself into being a better version of me. The only real path forward is gentleness, curiosity, compassion — and actual rest.

    Not collapsing into doom-scrolling.
    Not numbing out.
    Not rotting away on the couch.

    But closing my eyes when I’m tired. Letting myself sleep in when I need it. Pausing when my body whispers “please slow down.”

    There’s such a huge difference between checking out and truly resting. I’m trying to practice the latter. And it’s working — today I genuinely feel more like myself.

    💬 Let’s Connect

    What’s something small you’ve done lately that made you feel more like yourself again?

    Have you gone through a style transition before? How did you figure out what felt like “you” again?

    💌 Want More Posts Like This?

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    Love always, Bailz 💜