✨ Hey, hi, hello! Happy Monday!
GREAT NEWS! I am finally starting to feel better and holy cow I am so grateful! To be able to breathe out of both nostrils at the same time… what a blessing! 😅
When I really think back on it with absolute honesty, I have been feeling some version of sick for the past couple of weeks. Whether it be actual cold symptoms like a sore throat or congestion, or just that “pre-sick feeling” of being overly tired and cranky and sluggish. I just haven’t felt like myself in quite some time. Longer than I wanted to admit before. I’m stubborn like that. I fly my “I’m fine, it’s just allergies” flag like it’s my job. 🚩
But now I can fully acknowledge and admit that I have been fluctuating between the two phases — the “pre-sick feeling” and the actual symptoms — for weeks now.
🌿 Holistic Remedies + The Moment I Finally Accepted Help
Up until this past Friday, I really was not giving myself the space and grace to simply rest. I was doing all of my natural, holistic treatments/remedies, but I was not giving my body the rest it needed to be able to heal. I was pushing myself to just get through it. On top of that, I was also completely refusing to take any over-the-counter drugs.
I am definitely more of an all-natural girlie, especially when it comes to treating illnesses. If there is a natural remedy for something, I am trying that first. And most of the time, it works… but sometimes I need the help of the high-powered stuff and, whether I liked it or not, this was one of those times.
On Saturday, Heath went to CVS for me and got me some Mucinex D. I’m not gonna lie — I was pretty pissed that it was coming to this. I really hate taking that kind of stuff. Through all my herbalism and holistic research, I just know too much about the chemicals they use in those things and I have a really hard time willingly consuming them.
But my congestion had gotten so bad that I wasn’t able to sleep very much, and the times when I was finally able to doze off, it was very sporadic and inconsistent. I was waking up feeling the same as I did before I slept. That was no good.
I knew something had to give, so I begrudgingly agreed to take at least one dose and see how I felt. Within an hour, I was able to breathe through my nose again and I felt everything in my head become unclogged.
Sweet, sweet relief! 🙌
I still kept up with all my holistic treatments too — nasal rinses, flu bomb tea (freshly minced garlic, cayenne pepper, freshly minced ginger, lemon juice, honey, sea salt, warm water), hot showers, peppermint and eucalyptus essential oils, castor oil, baths with Dead Sea salts and apple cider vinegar, and finally… resting, resting, resting.
I took two doses of Mucinex on Saturday and two doses on Sunday, and today I am feeling so much better that I haven’t taken any! It is pretty exciting, not gonna lie. 😄
🛌 Resting Without Guilt (A Rare and Beautiful Thing)
Saturday and Sunday I rested without guilt more than I have in any recent memory. I cannot remember a time before then when I was sick or just tired and rested without feeling like I should be doing something else… without telling myself I was weak… without telling myself I was lazy and useless and a waste of space.
But I was able to do that this weekend. I was able to sleep in and snuggle on the couch and nap — all without thinking about doing anything else. I just fully committed to resting and it absolutely paid off. 💛
One of my biggest struggles when I start to feel better after being sick is doing too much too fast and then throwing myself right back into it. So today, even though I want to do a lot because I am so excited to be feeling better, I am forcing myself to keep resting.
I want to start on some house projects and dive back into all of my exercise routines, but I know that if I do all of that today, I will be back to feeling crappy by tomorrow without a doubt.
So the most I am allowing myself today is to get back on the walk pad and walk SLOWLY. I don’t even want to break a sweat. I just want to move gently. The closet that needs to be organized will still be there tomorrow — and the day after that too. 😌
I really want this wellness to stick around, so I will be gentle with myself as much as possible.
📚 Reading for Pleasure Again
I finished A Winter’s Promise on Saturday and immediately started reading the next book in the series, The Missing of Clairdelune. It is bringing me quite a lot of simple joy right now.
I kinda forgot what it was like to read simply for pleasure. Even before my happiness project and restricting what I was reading, I had lost sight of the joy of reading for pleasure. I was going for quantity over quality and I didn’t even realize it until just recently.
For a few years, I was tracking everything I read on Goodreads and trying to log as many books as I could as fast as I could like it was some sort of competition. In 2024, I logged 77 books. WHAT?! That is kind of insane. 😳
I was rushing through each book so I could get to the next one, and I honestly didn’t even realize it at the time. I was so caught up in the numbers that I lost sight of the pleasure of the activity. I was trying to be impressive — I wanted to tell people how many books I read and have them think, “wow, that Bailz sure is good at reading, I like her!”
Like pretty much everything else in my life, it became more about what other people thought than it was about how it made me feel — what I thought about it. And yet, I had no idea at the time. I never let myself slow down enough to even think about it. I just kept pushing.
Now that I am really leaning into my wintering phase and trying to slow down in all areas, reading has been a main priority in that regard. I am focusing on taking my time with each page and making sure I’m actually enjoying the stories I’m absorbing — because that is the whole point, not checking a box and adding to a tally.
I’m not in any rush… or at least I’m trying really hard not to be. Admittedly, my instinct is still to rush. It has been my default for so long, so I know it will take time to unlearn. But I’m actively trying to quiet that urge — to silence that inner voice that says, “hurry up! go faster! there is so much to do! go! go! go!”
It’s a work in progress, but I’m proud of myself for acknowledging the problem and addressing it head on. ✨
🎶 Comfort Shows, Music Stories & Childlike Joy
Some other things that have been bringing happiness into my days recently are The End of an Era, the Taylor Swift documentary series, and The Beatles Anthology documentary series — both on Disney+.
Music is truly one of my favorite things in life. Always has been, always will be. Watching behind-the-scenes footage and hearing stories about how some of my favorite musicians do what they do best brings such joy and warmth to my heart.
I find myself genuinely smiling as I watch and it feels pretty dang great. With each episode, I feel myself coming back to myself a little bit more. I am experiencing the childlike joy that for so long has eluded me.
I am taking care of my inner child a little bit better with each day and I have to admit… it’s pretty beautiful. 🥹💜
🌙 Sleeping More, Listening More, Trusting More
Beyond that, I am really focusing on sleeping A LOT. I am not paying attention to the clock, I am paying attention to my body and so far it seems to be working out pretty well.
I will get back to my sleep schedule with more discipline soon, but not until I am feeling 100% again. Depriving myself of rest is just not in the cards right now. That is part of wintering. That is part of healing. That is part of my journey right now.
So I am leaning into it as much as I can.
❄️ Slow and Steady
Slow and steady wins the race. My wintering phase is in full swing right now and it feels really good.
I am taking my time with everything I can and though it may not be glamorous or exciting, I know it is absolutely necessary if I want to make any sustainable progress going forward.
So I will keep on keeping on — taking everything one step at a time, and giving myself as much grace as possible. 💛
💬 A Question for You
What’s one small way you can slow down today and be gentle with yourself — even if your brain tries to tell you to rush? 🤍
✨ Want to Follow Along?
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Love always,
Bailz 💜
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