A large part of my journey right now is reading. I am consuming as much material that feels relevant as possible. To be fair though, I’m also throwing in some comfort reading—because ultimately, we are aiming for balance after all.
Right now I’m reading The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck, and I’m rereading Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Oh—and I’m also listening to the audiobook of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (read by the iconic Jim Dale) as I fall asleep each night. Like I said, balance.
📖 The Book That Changed Everything
I started my self-improvement reading journey with The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins a few months ago. My aunt and my dad had both recommended it to me, and I had been seeing a lot of Mel’s podcast clips in my Instagram scrolls. So I picked up a copy—and things haven’t been the same since.
I devoured it in a day and a half. I truly could not put it down. It was exactly what I needed to read in that moment. Honestly, it’s what I had needed to read my whole life.
🧠 People-Pleasing, Meet Your Match
I’ve spent the majority of my time on this earth being a people-pleaser. I learned early that it was easier—and safer—to mold myself into who others wanted me to be than to try to be my weird little self. So that’s what I did.
Eventually, I got so good at it, I didn’t even realize how much I was doing it. By my late 20s, it was in every aspect of my life. I didn’t know who I really was anymore. I could barely keep up with the different versions of me I was performing for other people.
I forgot how to just be me.
Although… now that I think about it, I don’t think I forgot—I just never really learned how to be me in the first place.
💡 Let Them… and Let Me
Reading The Let Them Theory encouraged me to take a step back and start making that learning process a priority. I highly recommend reading the book (or listening to the audiobook) if you haven’t already. Mel Robbins explains that the theory works in two parts: Let Them and then Let Me.
And it was that second part that really rocked my world.
“What I love about Let Me is that it immediately shows you what you can control. And there’s so much you can control: your attitude…your behavior… your values, your needs, your desires, and what YOU want to do in response to what just happened. It’s the opposite of judgement. Let Me is all about self-awareness, compassion, empowerment, and personal responsibility.” – Mel Robbins
That clicked. And I immediately started analyzing how I was moving through the world.
I realized I had been telling myself that everything had to be done the way others did it—or how others told me to do it. I had never really been looking inward for answers. I was seeking approval and permission.
So I vowed to myself to change that.
✨ Still Learning, Still Trying
Now, let me be clear: I’m not about to tell you I’ve been perfectly aligned every day since. Come on, y’all. Be real.
It is a STRUGGLE to stop people-pleasing. I know I’ll be unlearning it for a long time. But now I feel like I have the tools. I know what’s in my control and what isn’t. And I’m finally learning to release what isn’t—namely, other people and their actions.
It’s an adjustment. When you’ve spent your whole life people-pleasing and suddenly stop, it really does feel like you’re being aggressive when you simply speak your truth.
But what I’m learning is this:
The people who genuinely love you will respect your voice. The only ones who won’t are the ones who benefitted from your silence.
📚 Other Books That Have Helped Me
The Let Them Theory was the first of many books I’ve read to help me on this journey. In addition to the ones I’m reading now, here’s what I’ve finished so far:
- Yes Please by Amy Poehler
- On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
- Stop Saying You’re Fine by Mel Robbins
- The Book of Shadow Work by Keila Shaheen
- The High Five Habit by Mel Robbins
- The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
Each one has contributed to my self-awareness, empowerment, and growth. If you’re on your own journey, I’d recommend any (or all) of them.
⚖️ A Note on Balance
One thing I’ve learned? Don’t try to power-read your way into healing. That’s a fast track to burnout.
Early on, I got overwhelmed with all the homework-y self-help energy. So I paused and re-read all of Abby Jimenez’s books just to give my brain a break. Since then, I’ve made it a point to alternate self-improvement with comfort content.
These books aren’t magic wands. But they’ve become mirrors—reflecting back parts of me I hadn’t met before, or had forgotten existed.
💜 The Healing Is the Journey
I’m learning that healing isn’t a destination—it’s the journey itself. And that journey looks a little different every day.
Some days I’m ready to tackle big topics like self-compassion, purpose, and legacy. Other days, I just want to escape to Forks, Washington with some sparkly vampires. And both are perfectly fine.
The old me would’ve shamed myself for “wasting time” on fiction or fun. But now, I’m working on quieting that inner critic. I’m embracing the rhythm of work and rest. Intention and indulgence. Reflection and release.
Balance is the goal—not perfection.
🫶 Thank You for Reading
I’m so glad you’re here. Whether you’re on your own healing journey, or just popping in for the vibes—thank you for sharing this space with me.
If you’ve read a book that changed how you see yourself, I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
Until next time,
– Bailz
Bailz Has a Blog 