Today has been one of those days that perfectly captures what this whole journey is about — learning to listen to myself, honor my energy, and follow inspiration when it shows up.
🌙 Gentle Intentions
This morning, I woke up feeling heavy — emotionally, mentally, energetically. I had what Brené Brown calls a vulnerability hangover. The last few days have been full of openness, honesty, and sharing my truth in big, public ways. It’s all been good — but it’s also been a lot.
So I decided to post a TikTok earlier today talking about that. About how tired and tender I felt. About the importance of being gentle with myself when I’m stretched thin from growth. I didn’t script it, I didn’t overthink it — I just spoke honestly from where I was.
After posting, I expected to feel depleted. Instead… I felt lighter. Seen. Proud. Something shifted.
🔥 Following the Spark
That tiny act of showing up authentically — even while scared, even while tired — gave me a spark of energy. I didn’t plan to do anything big today. My only goal was to rest and be gentle with myself. But as the day went on, that spark grew.
Before I knew it, I found myself tidying the house. I didn’t do it because I had to — I did it because I wanted to. Because my space needed love, and so did I. Cleaning didn’t feel like punishment; it felt like self-care.
And somewhere between doing the dishes and vacuuming, I had an idea for another TikTok. One that felt alive.
💜 Showing Up Again
So I set up my phone and recorded it: “Five Things About Me.”
It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t fancy, but it was me — raw, real, and a little bit weird. And it felt good. Not in a dopamine-rush, validation-seeking way, but in a soul feels lighter kind of way.
I didn’t post because I felt obligated or because I was chasing momentum — I posted because I felt inspired. Because I felt better, so I did better.
Today reminded me that healing isn’t linear, but it is responsive. When I nurture myself instead of forcing productivity, I actually create energy instead of depleting it.
That’s what I want more of. Not perfect days. Just better ones. Days that honor where I’m at while leaving space for what could bloom from there.
So if you’re reading this and you’ve been hard on yourself lately — please remember: you don’t have to do everything. You just have to do one gentle, honest thing for yourself. The rest will follow. 🌸
Love always,
Bailz 💜
Thank you for being here — truly. If you want to follow along as I keep learning, healing, and showing up (even when it’s scary), you can subscribe below to have each new post sent straight to your inbox.
And it scared the shit out of me… but I did it anyway.
I posted a video on TikTok. A real one. A talking head vlog. Just me, sitting in my bedroom, introducing myself and this blog and this journey I’m on.
It was vulnerable. It was awkward. It wasn’t perfect.
But it was mine. And I am so proud of myself for finally doing it.
I’ve wanted to share more of myself online for years, but I’ve always talked myself out of it. The fear was louder than the desire. Until today.
Today, I stopped waiting to feel ready. I stopped listening to the voice that says, “No one cares.” I stopped hiding.
And in its place, I just… showed up.
Even though I was scared. Even though my heart was racing. Even though I had to start over about ten times before I could get through everything I wanted to say. Even though I wanted to take it down immediately after posting it.
I’m writing this while still feeling a little shaky and overwhelmed. That post-release adrenaline is real. But I’m also writing this while feeling a glimmer of pride and courage — because I did the thing that scared me.
💜 Growth in Real Time
That’s what this whole project is about. Not being perfect. Not being polished. Just showing up — scared, messy, human, and real.
I’m trying new things and letting myself sit in the discomfort instead of avoiding it. It’s scary to put myself out there, and it’s normal and healthy for me to feel scared while doing it. But I’m not going to let that stop me anymore. I’m not going to avoid those harder feelings anymore — at least, that’s the goal.
Let’s be real, I’m human. I’ll trip up. Last week more than proved that. But now I know the harder feelings aren’t always bad — they’re just different and unfamiliar.
I’m working on nurturing myself through this growth period. The term “growing pains” exists for a reason (coincidentally, it was also one of my favorite TV shows when I was younger — young Kirk Cameron? Swoon!). It’s not comfortable to expand yourself and push to the edges of safety and vulnerability, but it’s worth it.
The more I share, the more vulnerable and open I am, the more I see changes in myself — how I talk to myself, how I feel about myself, and how I feel about what I’m doing.
😬 Feeling the Feelings
Last night after I published my last post, I was really struggling with the vulnerability. I was so anxious, you guys. I almost immediately wanted to take it down. I worried I came across as whiney, or “woe is me,” or ungrateful. I was scared of what people would think.
To be honest, I avoided the feelings for a while. I turned on The Office, asked Heath to make me an Old Fashioned (or two), and started drawing on my iPad. I didn’t want to feel those feelings — I wanted to avoid them.
When I finally looked at the clock and realized it was 2:30 a.m., I realized what I had been doing. My post had made me feel vulnerable, and because I was avoiding that feeling, it wasn’t going away. It was just hanging out under my rib cage — a swirling vortex of nerves.
So I stopped. I put away the iPad, turned off the TV, laid in bed, and let myself feel my feelings. And a lot came up.
For a while, I really considered taking down my post. I felt like I was taking up too much space. I worried what people would think about Heath, or my dad, or me. I was scared that my voice and my experiences weren’t valid or worth sharing. I felt like people would think I was trying to be someone I’m not.
But the truth is, I’m still figuring out who I am — and that’s what all of this has been about.
🌬️ Breathing Through It
Instead of giving in to those fears and retreating to safety, I forced myself to breathe through the discomfort. Literally.
I did some breathing exercises — starting with a 4-4-6 pattern: breathing in for four seconds, holding for four, and breathing out for six. I repeated it a few times, and it’s wild how much it helped. I could actually feel myself come back into my body.
Once I felt more comfortable, I shifted to a 4-7-8 pattern… and eventually, I fell asleep.
☀️ Waking Up Lighter
I woke up to a beautiful text from one of my absolute favorite humans telling me how proud she was of me for my post. Suddenly, all the things I’d been scared of seemed so small.
So small, in fact, that I decided to push myself again today — to post a video on TikTok and stretch that comfort zone even further.
I can see the changes happening in myself. I can see the bravery growing. I never thought I’d be brave enough to start a blog about my life — but I did it anyway, and I’ve kept with it. And it turns out, I really enjoy it.
I never thought that if I ever did have a blog, I’d share it publicly and actually want people to read it and really see me. But I did it anyway, and the response has been so incredible. I also never thought I’d post a video of myself talking straight to the camera — unscripted, open, raw, unpolished, and real. But I did it anyway.
It’s scary, and I’m still buzzing, but instead of avoiding the nerves, I’m going to hop into some leggings, pull out my yoga mat, cue up some Yoga With Adriene, and breathe and move through this growing pain.
💫 Final Thoughts
If you’re reading this and you’ve been holding back from doing something because you don’t feel ready — I see you. I am you. And I just want to say:
It’s okay to start scared. It’s okay to do the thing while your voice shakes. It’s okay to be vulnerable. You might be surprised what happens when you do.
Follow me on TikTok (@bailzhasablog) to see more of this journey. I have no idea what to expect, but I’m nervously excited about it — and I hope you come along for the ride!
And if you haven’t already, please subscribe here so you never miss a post! You can have it sent right to your inbox as soon as it’s live. 💌
Thank you for being here and for walking alongside me in this journey. I truly feel like my life is changing — and I’m glad you’re here to witness it.
Today is the first day I’ve genuinely felt like myself in… honestly, I don’t even know how long. Definitely not since starting this blog. I’ve had flickers of my true self here and there—but they’ve been fleeting.
This morning, I woke up ready. Ready to participate in my life again. Ready to take the reins.
Now, I know what you might be thinking: It must be because I finally did all those things I said I would yesterday, right?
Nope. Not even close. I managed to do a yoga video with Heath, but that is it.
Instead, Heath and I talked. For hours. And not surface-level, small talk—we had an open, vulnerable, honest conversation that I didn’t realize I’d been aching for. I cracked open, and the floodgates came down. I spoke things I didn’t even know I’d been bottling up.
And because I’m committed to documenting this journey truthfully, I want to share some of what we talked about—with Heath’s blessing, of course.
💼 Generational Echoes
Growing up, and honestly even now, my dad has always been a workaholic. And to be fair—he’s brilliant at what he does. His work ethic is unmatched. But it also meant that work almost always came first. Even on vacations or holidays, he’d be on his laptop, answering emails, solving problems.
He never missed the big things—he was there, camera in hand, documenting every milestone “for posterity.” But day-to-day? He was rarely fully with us.
I adore my dad. But I missed him a lot growing up. I wanted more time, more attention, more connection.
And as they say—we often marry a version of our parents.
Heath is also a workaholic. And just like my dad, he’s phenomenal at what he does. He manages a large team, he cares deeply about people, and he pours his heart into his job. It’s one of the things I love most about him.
But sometimes, that passion means there’s not much left for anything else at the end of the day. I often get what feels like scraps of his attention, and I convince myself it’s fine. That I’m strong enough. That this is normal.
But over time, it chipped away at me.
😔 Loneliness in the Quiet Moments
What I hadn’t realized until last night is that the loneliness had grown louder than I’d allowed myself to admit. Even when he was sitting right next to me, I missed him.
I finally said the words I had been afraid to speak for years:
“I’m scared you work so much because you don’t want to be home with me.” “I’m scared that if I left, you’d be fine—maybe even relieved because you would have more time and energy for work.” “I feel like I only get the best version of you when you’re away from work—and the rest of the time, I’m just… managing.”
I let it all out—my fears, my longing, the echoes of my childhood loneliness. I laid it bare, and for the first time, I felt fully seen.
He didn’t get defensive. He heard me. And that changed everything.
☀️ A New Kind of Morning
No, I wasn’t asleep by 10 PM. It was closer to 3 AM. But I still woke up lighter.
I let myself sleep in. Then I got up, brushed my teeth, high-fived myself in the mirror (thanks, Mel Robbins), laced up my sneakers, and stepped onto my walk pad. I walked for 45 minutes and watched The Office, comfort food for my soul.
(Side note: If you haven’t watched the Superfan episodes on Peacock—what are you even doing? It’s like getting bonus time with old friends. I highly, highly recommend them.)
After walking, I did some stretches, took some slow, deep belly breaths, and actually felt my body again. Not just existing in it—being in it. Sweaty, a little winded, and so very alive.
🍝 A Simple Kind of Joy
After walking, stretching, breathing, and then showering, I volunteered as tribute to go grocery shopping. We needed a few things, so I threw on a cute outfit and made a Trader Joe’s trip feel like a mini adventure.
No overthinking. No dread. Just me, out in the world, present.
I sang my heart out to The Tortured Poets Department in the car. I chatted with the cashier. I picked up treats for the dogs. I got complimented on my outfit. And the best part? I didn’t feel overwhelmed once.
That is HUGE for me.
🌱 Lighter, Not Fixed (Yet)
I still have goals I’m not quite meeting. I still have healing to do. But today felt like a turning point.
All because I said the things I was afraid to say.
I told the truth—not just to Heath, but to myself.
And in doing so, I put down a weight I didn’t realize I’d been carrying.
I feel lighter. I feel more like me.
I’m not all the way back, but I’m on my way.
And that, my friends, is enough for today. 💜
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Yesterday, I realized that my mental health had been doing much worse this past week than I wanted to admit. I was in supreme denial about how negative my thoughts had become, how loud they were, and how often they showed up. On top of that, I was beating myself up for even having them.
I tried to just push through — do the things, stay distracted, and hope I’d magically wake up better one day. But on Saturday, I woke up and couldn’t stop crying.
“What’s the point of any of this? Why am I even trying? I’ll always struggle. I’ll always hate myself a little bit. I’ll always feel like this.”
That afternoon, I had tickets to the Life of a Showgirl release party movie with a friend. I knew I needed to get up, shower, and get dressed. But I cried through all of it. I didn’t really pull myself together until about 30 minutes before my friend arrived to pick me up. Even then, I wasn’t myself. I was quiet, going through the motions, and just… sad. I’m glad I went and spent time with my friend, but I didn’t appreciate it in the moment as much as I could have.
🚩 When the Signs Were There
Looking back, I should have recognized things were bad on Thursday night/early Friday morning, when the brand-new Taylor Swift album came out. Normally, I love Taylor Swift. Her lyrics have been a lifeline for me for years. But this time, I listened to the album out of obligation more than joy. I didn’t feel excited. I didn’t count down the hours until release. I didn’t make a cute outfit for the party or obsessively check Instagram for Easter egg theories. I just… didn’t care.
At first, I thought maybe I just didn’t like the album. Now I realize: I didn’t like anything that much at the time.
🖤 Going Dark
So on Saturday, while crying through getting ready, I put the album on again to prep for the show. Even after listening through twice, the funk lingered. All through the show, all through the afternoon, I felt completely dark.
Heath had a company picnic that day, so he was gone most of the afternoon. When he got home, I was a shell of myself on the couch watching Gilmore Girls, barely able to look at him. He could see something was wrong. He started asking gentle questions, and then the last one was:
“Are you going dark?” “Yes.”
“Dark” is our word for when things feel about as bad as they can get. Saying it out loud helped. Heath gave me a hug, snuggled me on the couch, and watched Gilmore Girls with me for the rest of the night — even asking questions about the characters and plot. (I think he might secretly be becoming a fan!)
Later, I spoke up and said I wanted chips and queso. We ordered Torchy’s delivery. Never underestimate the healing powers of chips and queso. We talked a little bit, and I felt myself come back — just a bit.
🌤️ Choosing to Come Back
Today, mentally, I feel better. I’m not “dark” anymore. But emotionally and physically, I’m drained. I slept until noon, and I still feel like I could crawl back into bed. Now that I’ve acknowledged how bad it was, though, it feels like it has less power over me.
Looking back, I see how quickly I slipped into old patterns: shaming myself, measuring my worth by productivity, “should-ing” all over myself, dwelling on the past, neglecting my self-care habits. I haven’t done a full yoga practice in over a week. I haven’t been on the walk pad. I haven’t been present.
So today, I’m making myself a promise:
💜 I will get back on track, gently.
🧘♀️ I will do yoga.
🚶 I will walk.
🌌 I will check in with the astrology for this week.
📚 I will read something uplifting about happiness.
📵 I will stay off my phone as much as possible.
🌙 I will start curating a nighttime routine that is authentically me — one that helps me wind down and sleep well.
My goal is to be in bed and asleep by 10 PM every night. I’m a lifelong night owl, and turning my brain off at bedtime is hard. But this is my project now.
🔁 Healing Isn’t Linear
Progress, setbacks, and forward movement again — it’s all part of it. I can still bring myself back. But I can’t keep it bottled up. Speaking up matters. Showing up matters.
Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s messy. Even when it’s just a post like this.
Thank you for being here. 💜
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Today has been another slow day, but I can feel myself starting to come back to myself. I’ve still got a ways to go, but the fog is lifting bit by bit. And for now, that’s enough.
It still takes effort—more than I’d like—to truly let go and relax. That voice in the back of my mind is still whispering: “Don’t waste this time! You should be doing more. You’ve rested plenty. Let’s go!”
But I’m getting better at replying: “Yeah, yeah, I hear you. But I’m going to snuggle up on the couch and enjoy this episode of Gilmore Girls anyway.”
💗 A Little Help From My Favorite Human
Heath worked from home today, and honestly, his presence made a huge difference. This afternoon, he surprised me with a little at-home spa setup—he arranged a cozy chair with a back massager, brought out the foot bath, made sure I had snacks, and told me to just relax.
So I sat. I soaked. I snacked. I let the knots in my back melt a little. I watched TV. I laughed. I cried. I breathed. I was present.
It wasn’t glamorous, but it was meaningful.
🛁✨ The Power of Ritual
Since getting home from Guthrie, I’ve returned to one of my favorite self-care rituals: nightly baths. Every evening, I draw a warm bath and take time to reconnect with myself.
Lately, I’ve been treating myself to some beautiful bath soaks from Flewd—my current favorite is called “Sads Smashing” (fitting, right?). They’re clean, fragrant, and formulated with emotional and physical well-being in mind.
I turn on my galaxy light, set a timer for 30 minutes, and listen to something soothing—sometimes Mel Robbins, sometimes an audiobook, sometimes sound frequencies focused on relaxation, chakra healing, or self-love. I hydrate well before, during, and after.
This little ritual is helping me reestablish trust with myself. It’s saying: “You matter. You’re worth taking care of.” Not just on the good days—but on the hard ones and the quiet, in-between ones too.
🤍 A Gentle Reminder
This phase of my life isn’t flashy or exciting. But it is sacred in its own way. I’m learning how to rest. How to let go. How to be soft with myself. And how to believe that small acts of care are more than enough.
As always, thank you for walking through this journey with me.
💜 Bailz
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I’m still struggling with sleeping through the night, so today… I’m not feeling my best.
There’s been a constant buzz of anxiety in my chest, and my mind hasn’t wanted to settle down. I’ve felt too restless to sit still or focus on anything quiet, so I decided to channel that energy into cleaning the house.
🧼 Today’s healing activities included:
Unpacking the rest of our bags from the trip
Running laundry and dishes
Changing the sheets
Vacuuming and mopping the floors
Wiping down counters
Playing The Office in the background for comfort
It’s been a productive day in terms of tidying up, and I’m feeling mildly accomplished—but I’m also still carrying that anxious energy. I’m feeling self-critical. Doubtful. Tender. A little too in my head.
And still—I showed up.
I don’t have anything groundbreaking to say today. But maybe that’s the point. I’m not here to prove anything or impress anyone. I’m just here to document the process. The real, messy, honest parts of it.
🌀 It is okay to be a work in progress. And I will keep reminding myself of that as many times as I need to.
Thank you for being here.
With love, 💜 Bailz
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First things first—my doctor said everything on my CT scan looked normal. That news brought an enormous sense of relief, and I’m incredibly grateful. 🌤️
That said… I’m also feeling deeply drained. I didn’t fully realize how tense I’d been until we walked out of the doctor’s office. It felt like every muscle in my body had been clenched for days without me even noticing.
🧬 Relief Isn’t the Same as Resolution
While I’m beyond thankful that the scan didn’t show anything alarming, I’m still dealing with some uncomfortable symptoms. So the worry hasn’t completely vanished—it’s just shifted.
I’ve started taking a new set of supplements—high-quality vitamins and herbs—to support my physical, mental, and emotional well-being. I’m hopeful that staying consistent with them will bring some clarity and comfort soon. 🌱
📺 Switching the Channel
Today is another day for gentleness and rest. But instead of another episode of The Office, I’ve started a rewatch of Gilmore Girls. It’s been years since I’ve watched it, but our weekend in Guthrie brought it back into my orbit. The local bookstore, A Novel Idea, hosted a Gilmore Girls-themed event that transformed downtown Guthrie into Stars Hollow for a day—and it totally charmed me. 💫
So today felt like the perfect time to press play and ease into a little cozy nostalgia.
🛁 Soft Focus
The rest of the day is dedicated to quiet comforts: a long bath, some gentle yoga, journaling, and (most likely) a nap. I don’t have much to say today—and that’s okay.
My inner critic, of course, has opinions: “What’s the point? Who’s going to care? You’re not doing anything important.” But I’m doing my best to shush that voice. Because truthfully, this—this slowing down, this reframing, this being—is the whole point of what I’m doing here.
I’m reworking my relationship with rest. I’m learning to believe that rest has value even when it doesn’t come with a checklist or an epiphany attached.
💜 Progress Isn’t Always Loud
I’m reminding myself—over and over—that my worth is not measured by how much I accomplish. I’m showing up and sharing today, even when I don’t feel particularly wise or inspiring.
This blog is about honesty, vulnerability, and the messy middle. And today? Today is a work-in-progress kind of day. And that’s more than enough.
Thank you for being here with me, even on the quiet days. 🫶 More stories from the life of Bailz coming soon. 💜
Today has been a better day. I still feel a little off balance, but I can feel myself gently moving in the right direction. Little by little. I even high-fived the mirror twice this morning. 🙌
I’m taking better care of myself, though I’ll be honest—my mind is still racing a bit.
🩺 Scanxiety & Staying Grounded
Yesterday afternoon, I had a CT scan with contrast dye. It’s been almost two years since my last chemotherapy treatment, and recently, a few of my old symptoms have started creeping back in. A few weeks ago, I had bloodwork done and my oncologist said everything looked good—but because of the symptoms, he ordered this scan to be safe.
I go in for results tomorrow morning. I’m hopeful that everything is fine. But… it’s hard not to think about it. The waiting, the what-ifs, the heavy swirl of uncertainty—it’s a lot.
So in the meantime, I’m doing my best to stay grounded, stay gentle, and keep my mind occupied with things that bring me joy.
🛁 Cozy Comforts & Simple Wins
Right now, self-care looks like this:
Wearing my comfiest clothes 🧦
Snuggling with the dogs 🐶
Watching The Office Superfan episodes 📺
Resting when I feel like it 💤
Taking a long bath while listening to The Little Book of Hygge 🕯️
Hydrating, eating, and staying on top of my supplements 🥤🍽️💊
I’ve tidied the house a little—just enough to feel clear-minded—but I’m not pushing myself. I ran the robot vacuum/mop, did the dishes, and straightened up the kitchen and living room. And honestly? That’s enough for today.
If I do more, great. If I don’t, that’s okay too.
💜 Grace Over Guilt
There are no expectations today. No lists, no pressure, no “shoulds.” Just soft care. Just showing up for myself in small, meaningful ways.
My body and spirit are asking for rest, so I’m doing my best to listen. I’ll keep watching my comfort show. I’ll roll out my yoga mat for a few slow stretches. I’ll breathe deeply. I’ll try—really try—to give myself grace.
Slow and steady. Gentle and kind. That’s the only path forward right now.
Thanks for being here with me.
Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz 💜
One of the many goals I’ve set for myself on this journey is to keep my space consistently clean and calm. A tidy space helps me feel grounded, clear-headed, and proud of my environment—which is something I’m actively learning to prioritize.
While I’ve been doing a pretty good job overall, I’ll admit: the weekend got a little cluttered. So today, I decided it was time for a home reset.
🧳 Getting Ready to Travel
We’re heading out of town in a few days, and that added some extra motivation. I wanted to leave the house feeling fresh and welcoming for our return. So I spent the day cycling through the classic checklist:
🧺 Laundry
🛏️ Changed the sheets
🍽️ Did the dishes
🪴 Watered the plants
🧹 Dusted and decluttered
🧳 Packed what I could
🧼 Vacuumed and mopped the floors
It felt so good to go from room to room and really care for the space I call home. Not perfectly—just intentionally.
🎧 A Little Hygge, A Little Mel
I’ve also been multitasking a bit. While I cleaned, I listened to two episodes of the Mel Robbins podcast and started the audiobook The Little Book of Hygge. Both were excellent companions for my day and helped me feel like I was nourishing my environment and my mindset. Win-win.
🗣️ The Inner Critic Tried to Interrupt
As much as I tried to be present, my inner critic made sure I knew she was still in the room. Mid-dusting, she started whispering:
“Hey… you haven’t written your blog post yet. When are you going to do that? You HAVE to do it.”
Oof.
I gently reminded her—many times—that I can only do one thing at a time. Right now, I’m cleaning. I’ll write when I’m done. I’ll worry about writing when I’m done.
Was it easy? No. I had to shush her constantly. But I kept pulling my attention back to the present moment, and slowly, it got easier. That’s what this is: practice. One intentional breath, one focused task at a time.
🪞 Gentle Progress, Not Perfection
This isn’t going to be an overnight transformation. Silencing my inner critic—learning to trust myself—will take time. But I believe it’s worth the effort. Every time I interrupt that anxious voice with compassion and presence, I’m making progress.
I’m learning that I can be gentle with myself and consistent with my goals. I don’t have to be perfect to be proud. I just have to keep showing up—one step at a time, one day at a time.
Thank you for being here. I’m so glad we’re doing this together 💜
Hello and Happy Monday! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I know I sure did—it was busy, it was social, and it was absolutely beautiful.
Lately, a lot of my focus has been centered on reframing—shifting my perspective and trying to see things in a more positive, grounded light. It’s a practice I’m still learning, but I’m already seeing how powerful it can be.
And this weekend reminded me of a phrase that has meant a lot to me over the years:
“Have to? GET to.”
Let me take you back to the origin story.
When I was 15, Green Day was touring for their American Idiot album, and my wonderful dad somehow scored tickets for our family of four. My sister and I were obsessed with Green Day at the time—this was a very big deal.
When we got to the venue and started making our way to our seats, my mom looked down at the arena floor—the standing room only section—and said something like, “Oh, those poor people, they have to be standing down there the whole time?” Without even thinking, I responded: “Have to? GET to!”
And it just… stuck.
🔄 Reframing the Everyday
I didn’t realize how powerful that mindset shift was until much later—when I found myself burned out, detached, and drowning in “have to” energy.
Somewhere along the way, I had stopped choosing my life. I was moving through my days like everything was an obligation—even the things I wanted to do. Depression had dulled everything, and I couldn’t see it clearly until I paused. I rested. I got honest with myself. And I started listening to that quiet inner voice again.
Perspective matters. How you look at things matters.
✨ This Weekend, I Got To…
If I had approached this weekend with my old mindset, it would have wrecked me. I would’ve seen my calendar and thought: “Ugh, I have to go to all these things…”
I would have spiraled into anxiety or shame. Maybe even canceled. Maybe convinced myself I wasn’t up for it.
But I didn’t do that. Instead, I asked myself: “What if I looked at all of this as something I get to do?”
Suddenly, I was overwhelmed—not with stress, but with gratitude.
How lucky am I to have people who want to spend time with me? How lucky that I genuinely adore those people back?
Yes, I’m tired. I slept 12 hours last night. But my heart is full.
Yesterday, I got to catch up with a friend I haven’t seen in years. I got to meet her beautiful children. Later, another dear friend came over and I got to hang out with him and my husband all afternoon. What a gift.
💜 Let “Get To” Lead the Way
I know I’ll still fall into “have to” thinking sometimes. I’m human. It’s a habit I’ve spent years reinforcing.
But I’m working on changing the story. And keeping “get to” at the center helps.
So today, I invite you to try this with me.
When you catch yourself dreading something or slipping into overwhelm, pause. Ask yourself: “What if I get to do this?”
You might be surprised how much it softens everything.
Thanks for being here. Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz 💜
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