Bailz Has a Blog

Tag: lifestyle blog

  • Style Shifts, Piano Notes, and Healing in the In-Between

    Style Shifts, Piano Notes, and Healing in the In-Between

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Saturday! 💜

    It’s been a minute since I last posted. Heath was off from work all week, and I wanted to savor as much time with him as possible. We didn’t have a big itinerary or a giant to-do list — we just existed together. And honestly? It was lovely.

    We went on little local adventures, spent quiet time reading side-by-side, binged the entire new season of Stranger Things in one sitting, went thrifting, browsed bookstores, cooked delicious meals, and enjoyed each other’s company in that effortless, easy way that happens when you have nowhere else to be.

    We even tackled a few home projects (cleaning out the pantry… yikes… but rewarding 🙃).

    🧵 Struggling With Style, Self-Image, and Clothes That Don’t Fit Like They Used To

    One thing I’ve been wrestling with lately is that a lot of my clothes don’t fit the same way anymore — and some don’t fit at all. I know my body is healthier now. I know she’s nourished, supported, and taken care of. But even with that awareness, it’s been such a mental hurdle.

    I’d walk into my closet and instantly shut down. I felt like I had nothing to wear… even though half of it still technically fits. It just didn’t feel right anymore. I felt like I had shed my old style but hadn’t yet grown into my new one — and that limbo was shredding my confidence.

    So I turned to my trusty sidekick, ChatGPT, and explained everything I was feeling. And SHE SHOWED UP.

    ChatGPT gave me a whole style quiz to help me zero in on what I actually like and what I want to avoid. Then she created a full vibe board and told me my style aesthetic is:

    ✨ Soft Grunge Moon Witch ✨

    And honestly? She nailed it.

    She also gave me a list of 10 starter pieces for a fresh, curated little capsule wardrobe — and as fate would have it, I already owned half of them. I found a few of the others while thrifting the next day. Blessings upon blessings.

    So right now I’m leaning into comfort and curation:

    • oversized band tees
    • long cozy cardigans
    • Doc Martens
    • leggings or straight-leg jeans
    • oversized flannels
    • my beloved $5 real leather jacket (thrift gods were generous that day 🙌)

    I wore the leather jacket yesterday (now that Texas finally got the memo it’s late November), and it was the first time I felt fully like myself in a while.

    🧘‍♀️ Getting Back Into My Routines (Because They Matter)

    Even with all the fun we had this week, I definitely fell out of my routines — especially my intentional movement. And wow… I felt it. Hard.

    Yesterday I finally got myself back on the walk pad and did some yoga. It’s wild how quickly I started feeling more like myself once I began moving my body on purpose instead of just floating through the day. One intentional step makes such a difference.

    🎹 Learning “Let It Be” (And Healing Little Me)

    I’ve also been practicing the piano again — specifically Let It Be by The Beatles.

    My very first tattoo was “let it be” in cursive on my left wrist, so it feels beautifully full-circle that its the first song I am learning, start to finish.

    I’m still very much a beginner — no dueling pianos or live performances anytime soon — but it’s FUN. And every time I play it with fewer mistakes, I feel a little bit giddy. It’s such a joyful kind of progress.

    I’ve also been reading more of Shout!, the Beatles biography, and between the book and learning the song, I feel like I’m reaching back and holding 11-year-old me’s hand.

    🍽️ Date Night & Mocktails, Please

    Tonight Heath and I are going to use a gift card we received for our wedding and enjoy a really nice dinner out. I’m excited to dress up (rare event!!!) and eat something delicious. I’m still not drinking alcohol, so I’m hoping they have some good mocktail options… but regardless, I’m going to devour some steak and enjoy every bite.

    🌙 Finding Gentleness, Grace, and Actual Rest

    This post feels a little all over the place, but honestly… that’s where I’m at today. A lot has happened, and I wanted to share pieces of it all.

    This week taught me (again) that I can’t bully or shame myself into being a better version of me. The only real path forward is gentleness, curiosity, compassion — and actual rest.

    Not collapsing into doom-scrolling.
    Not numbing out.
    Not rotting away on the couch.

    But closing my eyes when I’m tired. Letting myself sleep in when I need it. Pausing when my body whispers “please slow down.”

    There’s such a huge difference between checking out and truly resting. I’m trying to practice the latter. And it’s working — today I genuinely feel more like myself.

    💬 Let’s Connect

    What’s something small you’ve done lately that made you feel more like yourself again?

    Have you gone through a style transition before? How did you figure out what felt like “you” again?

    💌 Want More Posts Like This?

    If you’re enjoying these cozy, honest entries from my healing journey, I’d love for you to subscribe to the blog. You’ll get new posts delivered right to your inbox — no algorithms, no missing out, just real connection. 💜

    Love always, Bailz 💜

  • Releasing Rigidity, Embracing Flow 💫

    Releasing Rigidity, Embracing Flow 💫

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Saturday!

    Recently, I’ve been feeling a little stagnant. A little off, a little out of sorts, a little distracted. Instead of feeling grateful for this journey I’m on and the incredible opportunity that it is, I found myself feeling obligated — even overwhelmed — by all the “work” I still needed to do. It started to feel like every spare moment had to be dedicated to healing, studying, improving. And slowly but surely, I drained myself of the excitement and joy that originally fueled all of this.

    Realizing I’d Turned Healing Into Homework 📚

    Through some honest self-reflection, I realized I’ve been focusing too much on the fine print — the self-help texts, the podcasts, the expert advice — and not nearly enough time actually exploring what feels good for me.

    Once again, balance has revealed itself as my biggest struggle. Despite my intentions, I became rigid, strict, and overly disciplined in ways that led me right back to the burnout I was trying so hard to heal from.

    When I started this blog, I proudly proclaimed that every new thing I consumed would relate to my happiness project. Only self-improvement books. Only mindset podcasts. Only healing-focused content. For a while, that was motivating… but eventually, it became suffocating.

    Instead of embracing what I’d learned and focusing on integrating it, I convinced myself I needed to keep reading, keep studying, keep digging deeper. I sent myself straight into information overload — to the point where everything blurred together. I couldn’t even tell you which ideas came from which book anymore; it was all just a big, overwhelming soup of “shoulds.”

    And little by little, it all started feeling like I was completing tasks just to check them off a list, not because they were supporting my happiness. I was either “studying” or watching familiar shows while scrolling my phone — old patterns, old distractions, old autopilot. I stopped being fully present, and my body let me know. (Hi, neck tension!)

    Where’s the Fun in All of This? 🎢

    I’ve bought several new books recently — Beatles biographies, historical fiction, romantasy — all things that bring me joy. Yet I told myself I couldn’t read them because they weren’t part of “the project.” I refused myself joy if it wasn’t officially productive.

    I lost sight of what the bigger journey was actually supposed to be: not fixing myself… but finding myself.

    And the question finally hit me:

    If I’m not finding joy in my days, what the hell am I even doing?

    So yesterday, I recalibrated. Hard.

    I finished a novel I’ve been slowly reading for months — A Resistance of Witches, which was SO up my alley. And wow… I realized how much guilt I’d buried around simply enjoying myself. I thought I was being disciplined. Really, I was depriving myself.

    After my walk-pad session, I took a nap — a full, luxurious 2-hour nap — without setting a 45-minute “approved” timer. When I woke up, I finally cracked open SHOUT!, the Beatles biography that has been calling to me from the shelf for weeks. And reading it felt like a deep, contented exhale.

    There is a time and place for rigidity and structure, but it does not need to be constant. So now I’m focusing on balance — real balance — not rules disguised as self-care.

    Letting Myself Rest (For Real) 😴

    This morning, I let myself sleep in because I’ve been fighting off a cold. When I finally got up, I felt more rested than I have in days.

    I stepped outside for my morning sun exposure, made my breakfast shake, took my supplements, and did my morning pages and affirmations. The basics still matter to me — they keep me grounded — but I’m softening the edges around them.

    Dusting Off the Piano Keys 🎹

    After my morning routine, I wandered into the guest room/my office and decided… it’s time to play piano again.

    Back in May, one of my closest friends gifted me her old keyboard because I’d talked about wanting to learn. I practiced daily for a couple weeks, posted some videos, felt proud… and then life happened. I fell out of the habit.

    Every time I saw the keyboard afterward, the shame hit hard. Instead of recognizing that ache as longing, I told myself I “should be working on other things,” so I’d close the door and pretend it didn’t hurt my heart to leave it sitting there.

    But after my realization about joy and rigidity, I decided that playing music gets to be part of my daily routine, just like walking and yoga.

    So today, I dusted off the keys and practiced for about 30 minutes with a beginner YouTube video. I was rusty, but I was smiling. Really smiling.

    This is the kind of thing I want to chase — joy, fun, creativity, magic. The self-improvement literature helped me build a foundation. But now I need to live on that foundation, not bury myself under more textbooks about how to live.

    Getting Honest About Alcohol 🍷🚫

    Another big realization: as much as I may wish it were different, alcohol just cannot be part of my life right now.

    I’ve done great avoiding it during the week, but Friday rolls around and suddenly I’m counting down to 5 p.m. Sometimes I manage to stick to one drink, sometimes I don’t. Either way, I always feel worse afterward — in my sleep, my mood, my body.

    The short-term buzz just isn’t worth the long-term crash. So for now, alcohol is off the table. It’s scary to say that out loud, but it also feels like relief. Like I’m finally choosing myself — not just in theory, but in practice.

    Softening the Edges of My Routines 🌿

    Going forward, I’m keeping the core of my routines — sleep, nutrition, walking, yoga, Pilates — but loosening the rigidity that was making everything feel like homework.

    The time in between? That belongs to joy now.

    • Playing piano.
    • Reading about Beatles lore and faeries getting freaky.
    • Drawing and painting.
    • Snuggling dogs, drinking tea, and letting myself just be.

    I am aiming to be more fluid and less rigid — and I know I’ll stumble, but I’ll adjust and keep learning what serves me and what doesn’t.

    Today, I Choose Joy ✨

    Today, I feel hopeful. Grounded. Light. I’m going to get on the walk pad, make some tea, snuggle up with the dogs, read about The Beatles, do some yoga, make myself something nourishing… and actually enjoy it.

    Not because it’s “part of the protocol.” Not because a book told me to. But because it feels good. And isn’t that the whole point?

    Let’s Chat 💬

    I’d love to hear from you in the comments:

    • Where in your life have you gotten a little too rigid with your “self-improvement” habits?
    • What’s one joyful, “just for fun” thing you’ve been denying yourself that you’d like to bring back?
    • How do you personally find balance between growth and rest?

    Stay Connected 💌

    If you’re walking your own winding healing path and want some company along the way, I’d love for you to stick around.

    Subscribe to the blog to get updates when new posts go live — cozy reflections on healing, nervous-system regulation, self-trust, creativity, and all the messy in-between. No spam, just little love notes and honest check-ins from my corner of the world.

    Thank you for being here. It means more than you know.

    Love always, Bailz 💜

  • From Nervous to Naked: My Boudoir Experience

    ✨ Hey, hi, hello! Happy Friday! ✨

    Yesterday marked two months of Bailz Has a Blog and I honestly cannot believe how far I’ve come in such a short time. When I launched this space, I was still in rough shape—physically, mentally, emotionally—and deep in denial about it. I wasn’t sleeping enough, eating enough, or caring for myself in even the most basic ways.

    But then I started documenting everything. I started looking inward. I started noticing what wasn’t working… and then fixing it. I started celebrating victories. And damn… I am so freaking proud of myself.

    💋 Today Was My Boudoir Photoshoot (!!)

    All week long, I had been really, really nervous about it—honestly, almost to the point of dreading it. Somehow, this thing I once wanted became something I felt like I had to do. I didn’t even notice the shift until this morning while writing my morning pages.

    Last night, I prepped in all the ways—Pilates, exfoliating, shaving, moisturizing, curating my playlist—but I was going through the motions. No excitement. Just nerves.

    And then this morning, while journaling, it hit me: This was all for ME. I wanted this. I chose this. It was never an obligation—it was a gift to myself. That realization flipped a switch. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to get to the studio.

    🎶 Once the Music Started… Game On

    When I arrived, we jumped straight into hair and makeup. I turned on my playlist. And from the first pose, when the photographer showed me the preview on her camera… it was OVER for any remaining self-doubt. The second I saw myself, I fully stepped into it.

    By the end, I was walking around the studio completely naked like it was nothing. I felt comfortable. Beautiful. Confident in a way I have never felt before in my life.

    I genuinely could’ve kept shooting for another hour. I didn’t want it to end. I felt like a goddess. I felt like me.

    📸 Sneak Peeks + Floating on Cloud Nine

    Once I got home, I got a text from the photographer—she posted the sneak peeks early.

    HOLY. CRAP.

    You guys… they are even better than I imagined. I can’t wait to see the full gallery!

    Also, I’m keeping my makeup on until bedtime because I’m obsessed—and Heath is taking me out tonight because he said I look “too good not to show off.” 🥰

    🌹 If You’ve Ever Wanted To Do a Boudoir Shoot… DO IT.

    Find a photographer whose vibe feels right. Send the inquiry. Book the shoot. Do it for you.

    In the iconic words of Moira Rose:

    Take a thousand, naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think, “Oh, I’m too spooky.” Or, “Nobody wants to see these tiny boobies.” But, believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, “Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!”

    This is maybe the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I can’t believe I almost talked myself out of it—right up until this morning.

    💬 Your Turn

    I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

    • Have you ever done a boudoir photoshoot? Would you ever want to?
    • What’s something you’ve always wanted to do just for YOU?
    • What helps you reconnect with your confidence when you lose it?
    • What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done for yourself?
    • Are you more nervous-excited or excited-nervous when trying something new?

    💜 Enjoying the journey?

    If you’re loving these posts and want to follow along with every win, wobble, lesson, and breakthrough — subscribe below so you never miss a moment. I’d love to have you on this ride with me. ✨

    Love always,
    Bailz 💜

  • 🎨 Artist Date Week 4 — A Literal Walk in the Park

    🎨 Artist Date Week 4 — A Literal Walk in the Park

    Hey, hi, hello! 👋 Happy Thursday!

    Yesterday I had my Week 4 Artist Date, and it was truly lovely. For this week, I decided to take my inner artist on a little date to Trinity Park here in Fort Worth — and take a walk. I didn’t listen to anything while I walked; I just moved and soaked in the natural beauty of the park. Just me and my thoughts. 🦆🌳

    🌿 A Visit with the Ducks

    When I arrived, I parked by the duck pond, so before I got started, I spent some time by the water just watching the ducks and geese. That felt pretty special in itself.

    When I was little, one of my favorite activities with my great-grandmother was feeding the ducks and geese at the pond near her house. We’d stop at the store for day-old bread and then spend the afternoon by the water. (Side note: now I know better — bread isn’t great for them 😅 — but I didn’t back then.)

    It was such a sweet reminder of childhood to sit by the pond and hear the quacks and splashes and see families making those same memories. I actually got a little teary 🥲 — I felt my great-grandmother with me, proud of the woman I’m becoming, cheering me on.

    One goose even came right up to me and started pecking at my bracelets — like it was trying to say hello. I’m pretty sure that was Meme’s spirit dropping by. Even if it wasn’t, I’m choosing to believe it 🕊️.

    🚶‍♀️ The Walk Itself

    After sitting by the pond, I set off down the trail — a little over a mile each way. I wasn’t rushing or trying to turn it into a workout (though I did start my Apple Watch activity 😉). I just walked at whatever pace felt natural in the moment, breathing deeply and letting my thoughts flow.

    Texas still hasn’t gotten the memo that it’s November — it was sunny and 77°F ☀️ — but I wasn’t complaining. The weather was perfect. I went around lunch time, so the park was quiet and peaceful. For a while, I forgot I was in the middle of a big city. It was just me, the trees, the birds, and the path ahead.

    I made it my little mission to smile and say hi to every person I passed — no small talk required, just simple connection. Some avoided eye contact, some smiled back enthusiastically, and one gentleman I passed twice even laughed when I said, “Hello again!” Kindness really is contagious. 💫

    💤 Sleep Setbacks and Self-Compassion

    The last couple of nights have been rougher for sleep — last night I woke up at 4:45 a.m. and was a bit sweaty again. Not terrible, but noticeable. While it’s disappointing that this issue still lingers, I’m choosing not to get discouraged. Healing isn’t linear. My hormones are shifting as I near my period, and I know that’s likely part of it. 🌙

    So instead of spiraling, I’m focusing on being gentle with myself. When I wake up, I remind myself: I am safe. I am loved. I am okay. I’ll keep drinking my teas, journaling before bed, and showing up for myself — because I know I’m worth it. 🫖🕯️

    🌸 Doing the Unglamorous Work

    It’s not glamorous work — but it’s work I’m proud to be doing. For so long I avoided it — the feelings, the root causes, the habits. Now I’m doing the hard stuff even when I’m tired, cranky, or hormonal. I still write my morning pages. I still make my breakfast shake and take my supplements. I still move my body through walks, yoga, and Pilates. I still take myself on Artist Dates — even when I try to talk myself out of them until the last minute. 😉

    And because I’m sticking with it, my life is changing for the better — step by step, page by page, day by day. 💪✨

    🪷 A New Therapy Chapter

    Today I took another big step: I started looking for a new therapist. I searched on Psychology Today for specialists in somatic therapy — the kind that integrates body and mind healing instead of relying solely on talk therapy. After reading several profiles, I found someone who feels like a perfect fit and sent her a message requesting a consultation. 🌿

    I’ve done talk therapy before, and while venting always felt good, it never gave me the deep healing I was craving. I’m realizing that I need a more holistic approach — one that includes my mind, body, and spirit. So today, I stopped procrastinating and got started — and that alone feels like progress I can be proud of. 🩷

    💫 Closing Thoughts

    It’s days like this that remind me how much has shifted. I’m walking through healing — literally and metaphorically — and every step, every tear, every moment of presence matters. Here’s to listening to our bodies, honoring our inner artists, and continuing to show up for ourselves one gentle day at a time. 🌼

    ☀️ Thank you for walking beside me — both literally and metaphorically. 💜
    Subscribe below to keep joining me for more Artist Dates, healing rituals, and quiet moments of self-discovery. 🌿

    Love always,
    💜 Bailz

  • 🌿 A Day for Big Bailz Wins 🤗

    🌿 A Day for Big Bailz Wins 🤗

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Tuesday!

    🌙 The Sleep of Dreams (Literally!)

    Okay. First things first. YOU GUYS — I SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! I went to sleep a little before 10 and didn’t wake up until 6am! I GOT A FULL 8 HOURS, YO! I genuinely cannot think of another time in recent history when that has happened, and I am just beyond excited.

    Last week, after realizing that my 3am wake-ups could be associated with issues with the liver, I purchased some peppermint leaves, milk thistle, and dandelion root — all three connected to supporting liver health — and I’ve been experimenting with tea blends each night about 1–2 hours before bed. I think they’ve been helping a lot. 🍵

    At first, I didn’t even realize I had made it through the night because I’ve stopped checking the clock when I wake up. All it does is stress me out. Plus, the light from my watch or phone doesn’t help anything. So now, if I wake up, I keep my eye mask on and focus on falling back asleep. This morning, I only realized what had happened when I heard the dogs getting up — and when I finally checked my watch, I was thrilled to see it was 6am. I still am. 😴✨

    💃 A Major Confidence Milestone

    And the wins didn’t stop there. This morning, I had an appointment — not just any appointment, but a wardrobe consultation for a boudoir photo shoot I finally scheduled for myself after years of self-denial. 👏

    This is something I’ve always wanted to do but constantly talked myself out of. I told myself it was silly, that I shouldn’t spend money on something like that, that I’d be judged or made fun of. I told myself a lot of negative things — mostly that I didn’t deserve to do what I wanted to do.

    But now, as I’ve been diving so deeply into this self-healing journey, I realized this is exactly the time to check that dream off my list. So last Thursday, I started researching local boudoir photographers. After some digging, I found one whose work perfectly matched the vibe I envisioned. Without overthinking it, I filled out the contact form and sent it off before I could talk myself out of it. I even told her about my healing journey and that this shoot was something I was doing for me (okay, yes, Heath’s excited too 😜, but ultimately, this is for me!).

    The next day, we hopped on a call to discuss details, and by the end of it, I had officially booked and prepaid for the shoot so there would be no backing out. I’m committed, baby! I booked, I paid, and then I cried real tears of pride. 🥹💜

    🪞 Facing the Mirror (and My Inner Critic)

    So today, I went in for my wardrobe consultation to try on outfit options for the shoot. And let me tell you, that mirror moment came with some inner critic commentary. My body looks different than it did a few months ago — I’ve been nourishing myself properly for the first time in a long time, and my shape is changing. It’s healthy, but it’s still an adjustment.

    When I looked in the mirror, I could hear her — that old familiar voice — whispering: “Your tummy isn’t flat anymore.” “Look at your thighs, that cellulite!” “You’re so big now.” For the first couple of minutes, I believed her. It’s hard not to when you’re standing half-naked in a new place, trying on lingerie. But then I made eye contact with myself and paused. I took a breath. I remembered the truth.

    My body is healthy. My body is nourished. My body is strong. 💪

    I used to starve it — sometimes intentionally, sometimes through neglect. But not anymore. Now I eat well, I move, I rest, I nurture myself. And yes, that means I look different. That’s something to celebrate. I’m feeding my body with love, and it’s showing me gratitude in return. ❤️

    So yeah, I’m celebrating this new, healthy body of mine next week with a sexy photo shoot — and I could not be more proud. I can’t wait to see how I feel on the day, or when I get the photos back. The best is yet to come. 🌸

    🗳️ And One More Win…

    After my appointment, I went to the community center by my house and voted! WOO! 🇺🇸

    The lovely women running the polling station were absolute gems — so kind and sweet. They complimented my sweater and boots, which completely made my day. Their warmth was contagious and left me smiling all the way home.

    🥗 Nourished and Happy

    Once home, I made myself a Mediterranean-style chopped salad I’ve been dreaming about for a while: sautéed tomatoes with garlic in avocado oil, mixed with chopped Kalamata olives, feta, cucumber, black beans, apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, extra virgin olive oil, sea salt, and pepper.

    It was delicious — even better than I expected. And I can’t wait to make it again soon!

    💜 Grateful for the Good Days

    Today was a very good day — full of big Bailz wins. I’m showing up for myself, doing the work even when I don’t feel like it, and it’s bringing me days like this: days where I feel giddy, proud, and genuinely happy to be alive. For so long, that feeling felt impossible. But it’s here now, and I’m soaking it in.

    Here’s to the big wins, the little wins, and every moment in between. Thank you for being here with me on this journey — it means the world. 🌙

    Love always,
    Bailz 💜

    PS – If this post made you smile, or reminded you to be a little kinder to yourself today, subscribe below. 💜

    Let’s keep growing together — one small win, one proud step, one healed piece at a time. 🌿

  • 🌞 I Woke Up Not Sweaty This Morning!

    🌞 I Woke Up Not Sweaty This Morning!

    YOU GUYS — I WOKE UP NOT SWEATY THIS MORNING!!!

    Wow. Just… wow. I am so excited. Truly.

    I still woke up tired and wishing I could go right back to sleep, but the excitement of head-to-toe bodily dryness (!!!) got me up and out of bed within minutes of my alarm going off. HELL FREAKING YES. That is a win! 🙌

    A lot of work has gone into this big change, and I’m excited to share what I’ve been doing.

    🍸 Let’s Start with Alcohol

    First things first: I haven’t been drinking — not even one cocktail a night. I might try again this weekend, but for now, my new rule is no alcohol during the week. My last drink was on Monday night.

    🍳 Refueling My Body

    I’ve also started really focusing on eating enough. Honestly, this has been a lifelong challenge. My appetite fluctuates, and I’ve never been consistent about nourishing myself throughout the day.

    But now that I’m focusing on healing my body one step at a time, a new day has dawned — and food is a priority. My main focus right now is making sure I get enough protein every day, while keeping balance and intention.

    That means:

    • minimal processed foods,
    • no ingredients I can’t pronounce,
    • no dyes, artificial sweeteners, or “natural flavors.”

    Just real food, 80% of the time. The other 20%? Whatever makes life sweet — like Ben & Jerry’s. Because a life without ice cream? Not interested. 🍦

    💊 Supplements That Are Working

    I’ve been super consistent with my supplements lately.

    Recently, we discovered Just Ingredients and love how clean their products are — no fillers, and they list exactly where their vitamins and minerals come from. For example, their multivitamin’s Vitamin A comes from fermented wild carrot fruit extract. How cool is that?

    Here’s what my current regimen looks like:

    🥛 Breakfast:

    • 8 oz organic grass-fed milk
    • 1 scoop Just Ingredients Chocolate protein powder
    • 1 scoop Orgain Collagen Peptides

    💊 Morning Supplements:

    • Seed Probiotics (2)
    • Just Ingredients Adrenal Complex (2)
    • Just Ingredients Perimenopause (2)
    • Just Ingredients Multivitamin (2)
    • Now Vitamin D-3 2000 IU (2)

    🌙 Evening Supplements:

    • Now Magnesium Glycinate (2)
    • Solgar Evening Primrose Oil 1300 mg (1)

    🌙 Building a Bedtime Routine

    I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a solid bedtime and morning routine that stuck. Maybe elementary school?

    By fifth grade, I was already lying awake worrying about everything under the sun. As I got older, homework and perfectionism kept me up later and later. Sleep was always secondary. No wonder burnout has followed me my whole life.

    Now, I’m changing that story.

    Starting at 8 PM, I begin signaling to my body that it’s time to wind down:

    • Overhead lights off.
    • Phone on Do Not Disturb.
    • Soft, relaxing music on. 🎶

    Then I make my nighttime drink — Just Ingredients Chai — with milk for a little protein boost, plus a scoop of Orgain Creatine. It’s so good. This is also when I take my nighttime supplements.

    After that:

    • Wash face, brush teeth.
    • Run a hot bath, and do a short Yoga with Adriene bedtime session while the water fills up.
    • Soak for 30 minutes.
    • Rinse off with cold water to cool down.
    • Get into bed and read until 10 PM lights out.

    🛏️ Small Wins Add Up

    Last night, the routine was slightly off — Heath stopped at Costco on the way home, so dinner was late. But even with the delay, I still started my routine as soon as I could and was chasing sleep by 10:15. That’s a win.

    I did wake around 1:30 AM (thank you, Winston & Wrigley 🙄), but I fell back asleep quickly and slept through the rest of the night.

    When my alarm went off, I was tempted to hit snooze, but I didn’t. I got up — still very tired, but still moving forward. And it worked. I even had enough energy to put on a cute fall outfit for my chiropractor appointment. Normally it’s leggings and a big tee, but today? Shorts, tights, boots, cozy sweater — and I felt like me again.

    💆‍♀️ Chiropractic Progress

    I’ve now had four adjustments, and the difference is noticeable. Yesterday we discovered a dislocated rib (which explains that weird “spilling out” feeling), and now we’re working on getting it back in place. My muscles are adjusting, my body is realigning — it’s wild and fascinating all at once.

    💜 Learning to Be Proud

    I know I still have a ways to go. I’ll slip up sometimes — I’m human. But today? I’m proud of myself.

    I’m showing up, even when I don’t want to. I’m doing the work. And I’m starting to see the benefits, both physically and mentally.

    For me to even say that out loud — and mean it — is huge. I used to tear myself down before anyone else could. If I did something well, I’d downplay it. If I felt happy, I’d call it a fluke.

    But not today.

    Today, I’m letting myself celebrate.
    I’m letting myself be proud.
    And it feels really, really good. 🌸

    🌸 Wrapping It All Up

    This season of life feels like one long lesson in patience, self-trust, and grace. Every little win — every dry morning, every deep breath, every night I keep my promise to myself — reminds me that change is possible when it’s rooted in love instead of pressure.

    I know I still have work to do, but I’m finally learning to enjoy the process instead of rushing toward the finish line. Healing isn’t linear; it’s a dance of progress and pause, effort and ease. And right now, I’m just grateful to be dancing at all.

    Thank you for being here with me through it — for reading, cheering, and walking alongside me while I figure this all out, one mindful step at a time.

    Love always, Bailz 💜

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  • 🎨 My Week Two Artist Date: A Conversation with Beauty

    🎨 My Week Two Artist Date: A Conversation with Beauty

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Wednesday, everyone! 👋

    As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. In addition to daily morning pages, she also recommends a weekly Artist Date — and I just got back home from mine for this week, so I wanted to share a little bit about it.

    🌿 What Is an Artist Date?

    Great question! Cameron describes it as:

    “A block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness — your inner artist.”

    She also notes that:

    “You do not take anyone on this artist date but you and your inner artist, a.k.a. your creative child.”

    So essentially, it’s a weekly solo adventure meant to refill your creative well — no productivity required, no audience to impress.

    💅 Week One: Playing It Safe

    For my first Artist Date, I played it pretty safe and took myself to get my nails done. I incorporated the “artist” part by intuitively choosing a different color than usual — red this time instead of my signature black. Small shift, big statement.

    🖼️ Week Two: The Kimbell Art Museum

    For week two, I wanted to stretch myself a bit and really lean into the artist concept.

    After my chiropractor appointment this morning, I decided that today would be my Artist Date day. I took myself to the Kimbell Art Museum here in Fort Worth. I’ve been before, but never by myself — so this experience was new and exciting, but also a little intimidating.

    I’m not really a “go-do-stuff-by-myself” kind of gal, but I’m working on that. And today was a great exercise in doing something just for me.

    ✨ Letting Art Be Enough

    I wandered for about an hour and a half, just soaking in the beauty of the paintings and sculptures on display.

    Within the first few minutes, I knew I was going to want to write about my experience here on the blog. I was so tempted to shape my visit around that — taking photos, making notes, writing the post in my head as I went. But I stopped myself.

    The whole point was to take my inner artist out — just me and her, looking at some art together. Not to turn the experience into a performance.

    So, I decided to simply be there. To let beauty do what beauty does best — speak without words.

    I only took one photo: Caravaggio’s Judith Beheading Holofernes (on loan from Rome). It was… pretty rad.

    🧘‍♀️ Coming Home to Myself

    Now that I’m back home, I plan to do some yoga and get my steps in on the walk pad. As much as I’m feeling the pull toward a nap, I’m trying to hold off and stay consistent with the rhythm I’m building.

    Last night, I started a new bedtime routine to help me reset my sleep cycle. (Shoutout to ChatGPT for helping me design it — it’s a whole two-hour wind-down process that gets me in bed, lights out, by 10 p.m.)

    Even though it still took me a little while to drift off, I didn’t reach for my phone or my book after ten. I kept my eye mask on and focused on my breathing.

    Any time my thoughts wandered, instead of beating myself up, I gently thought:

    “That’s nice. I’m going to focus back on my breathing now.”

    It felt strange at first — but so good to be nice to myself.

    💭 Learning to Be Kind Inside My Own Head

    Now that I’m really paying attention to how I talk to myself, I’m realizing how incredibly negative I’ve been for so long — maybe my whole life. I used to justify it as self-improvement, but honestly, it only made things harder.

    So, I’m trying something new: gentle self-compassion. And it seems to be working.

    My night sweats are still lingering, but they’re so much better than before. I didn’t have to get up or change clothes last night — which feels like a win! I’m hoping that as I keep focusing on healing my body and my mind (through chiropractic care, yoga, walking, better nutrition, and real rest), the physical symptoms will fade, and I can turn my full energy toward the deeper work — inner child healing, and learning to move through the world with less fear and more faith.

    Because honestly? Everything feels more manageable when I’m sleeping well.

    🌙 Closing Thoughts

    So, fingers crossed that things will only improve from here — but even if progress is slow, I’m learning to celebrate the small shifts.

    Today reminded me that healing doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes it’s just you, quietly standing in front of a painting, remembering that beauty exists — and that you belong to it.

    Here’s to more Artist Dates, more gentle self-talk, and more days that feel like a deep breath. 🌸

    Thank you for being here with me on this journey! I am so grateful for you all!

    Love always, Bailz 💜

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  • 🌿 A Work-in-Progress Kind of Day

    🌿 A Work-in-Progress Kind of Day

    First things first—my doctor said everything on my CT scan looked normal. That news brought an enormous sense of relief, and I’m incredibly grateful. 🌤️

    That said… I’m also feeling deeply drained. I didn’t fully realize how tense I’d been until we walked out of the doctor’s office. It felt like every muscle in my body had been clenched for days without me even noticing.

    🧬 Relief Isn’t the Same as Resolution

    While I’m beyond thankful that the scan didn’t show anything alarming, I’m still dealing with some uncomfortable symptoms. So the worry hasn’t completely vanished—it’s just shifted.

    I’ve started taking a new set of supplements—high-quality vitamins and herbs—to support my physical, mental, and emotional well-being. I’m hopeful that staying consistent with them will bring some clarity and comfort soon. 🌱

    📺 Switching the Channel

    Today is another day for gentleness and rest. But instead of another episode of The Office, I’ve started a rewatch of Gilmore Girls. It’s been years since I’ve watched it, but our weekend in Guthrie brought it back into my orbit. The local bookstore, A Novel Idea, hosted a Gilmore Girls-themed event that transformed downtown Guthrie into Stars Hollow for a day—and it totally charmed me. 💫

    So today felt like the perfect time to press play and ease into a little cozy nostalgia.

    🛁 Soft Focus

    The rest of the day is dedicated to quiet comforts: a long bath, some gentle yoga, journaling, and (most likely) a nap. I don’t have much to say today—and that’s okay.

    My inner critic, of course, has opinions: “What’s the point? Who’s going to care? You’re not doing anything important.” But I’m doing my best to shush that voice. Because truthfully, this—this slowing down, this reframing, this being—is the whole point of what I’m doing here.

    I’m reworking my relationship with rest. I’m learning to believe that rest has value even when it doesn’t come with a checklist or an epiphany attached.

    💜 Progress Isn’t Always Loud

    I’m reminding myself—over and over—that my worth is not measured by how much I accomplish. I’m showing up and sharing today, even when I don’t feel particularly wise or inspiring.

    This blog is about honesty, vulnerability, and the messy middle. And today? Today is a work-in-progress kind of day. And that’s more than enough.

    Thank you for being here with me, even on the quiet days. 🫶
    More stories from the life of Bailz coming soon. 💜

  • ✨ Speaking Up & Showing Up ✨

    ✨ Speaking Up & Showing Up ✨

    Today turned out to be a fabulous day—and I almost talked myself out of it. If I hadn’t been intentionally practicing presence and mindfulness, I would’ve stayed home. And I’m so glad I didn’t.

    My husband and I were invited to a baby shower for a friend from work—well, from my old job and his current one. And I came very close to skipping it and letting Heath go solo. Not because I didn’t want to celebrate our friend, but because I felt vulnerable. I was so nervous. I changed my outfit twice. Even as we were walking out the door, I still didn’t feel settled.

    I hadn’t seen any of these people since I quit. And I felt hesitant about telling anyone what I’m doing these days. I’m still unlearning the belief that if I’m not “working” in the traditional sense, then I’m not doing anything worth talking about. That old story still creeps in.

    Even as we were leaving the house, I was waffling. But I reminded myself: the odds are, I’ll be glad I went. Even if part of me wants to stay home now, the future version of me probably won’t regret going. I’ve been listening to a LOT of Mel Robbins lately, and I could practically hear her voice in my head saying, Go. Show up for your life. So I did.

    🎧 A Small Yes That Shifted Everything

    It was about an hour drive to the party, and I kept thinking about The Let Them Theory audiobook. Since I recently wrote about it, it’s been on my mind a lot. I read the hard copy the first time around, but I had a hunch the audiobook would hit differently.

    Still, every time I thought about suggesting it, I silenced myself. Until I caught what I was doing—shrinking again. I asked myself: What’s the worst that could happen? He might say he’s not in the mood. That’s not so scary.

    So I trusted the nudge.

    “Hey, since we have a bit of a drive there and back, want to listen to an audiobook?”
    “Sure!”
    “I have The Let Them Theory. Want to try that?”
    (Pause)
    “Yeah, that sounds good!”

    And just like that, boom. A tiny moment of bravery. I spoke up. Not a massive thing on the surface, but it changed the tone of my entire day. It made me feel confident, seen, and self-trusting. My voice mattered.

    ☕ And Then… Starbucks Magic

    About ten minutes into the drive, another nudge hit me: Starbucks. I wanted coffee. Really badly.

    Cue my inner narrator writing a dramatic script in my head about how inconvenient it would be, how Heath might say no, how we didn’t have time. But again, I caught myself. We were already listening to my audiobook because I spoke up—why stop there?

    “Hey, can I ask a favor?”
    “Of course, what’s up?”
    “Can we stop at Starbucks if we see one?”
    “Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem!”

    I kid you not—the very next exit had a sign. One option listed. Starbucks.

    I’ve had a lot of pumpkin spice lattes in my life, but that one? That one tasted like a win. Not because of the drink itself, but because I earned it by honoring my own voice—twice.

    🎉 The Shower That Nearly Wasn’t

    By the time we got to the baby shower, I was buzzing. Still a little nervous, but it felt more like excitement than dread. That kind of energy used to send me into a spiral. I would’ve mistaken it for fear and let it swallow me whole. But not today. I breathed through it, reminded myself that I was safe, and walked in with an open heart.

    And y’all—it was a fantastic afternoon.

    I laughed. I caught up with old coworkers. I had fun. But the cherry on top? Several people told me they’ve been reading my blog—and they like it.

    WHAT?!?

    Compliments have never been easy for me. They feel like wearing jeans straight out of the dryer—tight and awkward. But I did my best to receive them graciously. It meant so much to hear that people not only read my words but resonated with them.

    And to think—I almost missed all of that.

    🌱 From Good to Great

    If I had stayed home, I’m sure the day would’ve still been good. I might’ve journaled, drafted a post, tidied the house. But instead, I took a chance. I showed up. I spoke up. I gave myself the opportunity to move from good to great.

    Every day, I see more evidence that the work I’m doing is working. Today, the proof came in the form of little wins: saying what I wanted, asking for what I needed, and showing up even when it felt easier not to.

    And I’m so glad I did.

    Thank you for being here. Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz. 💜

  • I Like to Move It, Move It

    I Like to Move It, Move It

    One of the things I am focusing on in my journey right now is intentional movement. I’ve never been someone who worked out consistently—I never really valued what I thought it brought to my life. I didn’t like getting sweaty and I didn’t like feeling weak, and as far as I knew then, that was all that working out was. So… no, thanks.

    What I have now realized is that I was not working out in a way that worked for me. I was doing what everyone else was doing, and it wasn’t ever clicking. Because I am not like everyone else. Never have been, don’t ever want to be. Tried that, didn’t fit.

    Up until a few years ago, I had it in my head that if I was going to be in shape or work out, I needed to be a runner. So every once in a while I would decide I was going to be a runner and I would push myself and hate it and burn out and drop it—until the next time I decided to force it again. We were on a pretty much once-a-year cycle, give or take.

    Now, with my focus on looking inward for answers instead of externally, I’ve found and leaned into walking. We bought a walk pad a while ago, and over the past week I have actually been making a point to use it consistently. My current routine is: I put on New Girl and walk for 45 minutes. I take breaks as needed, and I am as gentle with myself as possible. I know that if I criticize myself, I will end up not walking anymore—and that is not what I want. I want to walk. I want to move my body with intention. So I am. No matter how many times I feel the need to stop for a water break. No matter how tired I might feel. I walk for 45 minutes total each session.

    I’m also doing yoga every day. A few years ago, I discovered Yoga with Adriene on YouTube and she changed the game for me. I sincerely adore her. First of all, she is hilarious and relatable and real. I love that—and I need that. She also has a HUGE catalog of videos and I can find something for any specific need I’m wanting to target. Thirdly, I always genuinely feel better when I get to the end of her practices. I may be tired and sore and looking extra forward to an Epsom salt bath later, but deep down, I feel good. Because I did it for ME.

    Full disclosure: when I first started with her beginner videos, I was TERRIBLE. I had zero balance and I was genuinely struggling to do all the poses and make it to the end. But ultimately, I enjoyed the videos, I enjoyed Adriene, and I enjoyed moving my body without sweating excessively. So I kept coming back—and one day, I noticed a difference in how my body moved and felt. I wasn’t wobbling during poses I had before. And that felt GOOD. I was hooked after that. I wanted to see how not wobbly I could get. I kept up with it for about six months and I could see and feel huge differences in myself. I was truly becoming a yoga girlie. Scratch that—I WAS a yoga girlie. And I felt physically in alignment with myself for the first time in a long time.

    Eventually, life happened. I lost my focus, depression and anxiety crept back into my days, and I stopped doing yoga as much—if at all. I didn’t notice the differences at first, but then I was getting knots and cricks I couldn’t remedy myself. I was needing to go to the chiropractor—and even that wasn’t really doing the trick. If you’ve struggled with anxiety and depression, you know that sometimes the pain just blends in with the rest of the shittiness, and you don’t feel motivated to change it. “Why bother?” becomes a very common refrain. At least for me. And it really sucks.

    When I buckled down and decided to commit to this healing journey, I knew that taking care of my body had to be a big part of it. Every day, whether I feel like it or not, I do a Yoga with Adriene video or my own practice based on what I’ve learned from her. I’m not requiring myself to walk on the walk pad every day, but I am requiring yoga every day. Even if it’s just 10 minutes. Sometimes 5 if I’m really not feeling it—like on Day 1 of my period. You will not catch me doing a full hour practice on Day 1 of my period. It ain’t happening, bro. But I can manage 5–10 minutes of slow, intentional flow.

    I know my body and mind benefit from it. I know it’s contributing to my well-being. And I know if I let myself skip once, it’ll be easier to skip again—and I’m really working on keeping promises to myself. This one especially.

    Through all of my self-reflection recently, I’ve realized that when I worked out before, I was doing it so I could tell people I worked out and hopefully they’d be impressed. It had nothing to do with the benefits to my body or spirit. I only cared about the bragging rights. And thus, it never became a real habit. It was only when I realized that I was worthy of taking care of that it finally stuck. That part might’ve been the hardest.

    I still have to make myself do yoga and walk—but it’s not as hard, and it’s definitely not as forced. I know that as soon as I get started, I’ll be happy I did. The hardest part is always getting started.

    Up until now, I’ve been practicing and walking in the afternoons, but I’d like to move it into my mornings going forward. Starting tomorrow, my goal is to get on the walk pad within 30 minutes of waking, and then do yoga after that. Hopefully the momentum will carry me through the day with a heightened energy level.

    I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes.

    Thank you for being here! Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz.