Today I spent most of my afternoon fiddling with the layout of my blog. I kept telling myself I’d take a break, go do something else, step away from the screen—but I kept coming back to mess with it. I was so focused on how other people might navigate the site, how they’d perceive it, how it might need to look if it suddenly got popular overnight (as if!).
I kept thinking: This should be simple. Why am I struggling with this so much? Why can’t I find the perfect preset theme already made and waiting for me?
But then—
I caught myself. I realized I was holding my breath. So I stopped what I was doing, sat back in my chair, and took a few slow, deep breaths.
And in that stillness, I heard it: I was worrying about other people again. Their opinions. Their expectations. Their judgment. I was more concerned with how they would feel about my site than how I felt about it.
Reminder to Self: This Blog Is for Me First
If you’re here and reading this, I’m genuinely so stoked. I really am. I hope you stick around and keep coming back.
But that’s not why I’m writing this blog. That’s not the why I clung to when I finally decided to get started.
I’m writing this blog to reconnect with myself. To tell the truth. To document my journey back to my own voice and values. I hope it reaches the right people. I hope I find my little corner of community. But for now, this is about me showing up for myself.
Today reminded me of that.
Learning as I Go (and Failing Gracefully)
I am not a web designer. I’ve never studied it. I’ve never even dabbled in it, really. It’s no wonder I don’t know what I’m doing. But I’ve been acting like I should just know—like the knowledge should magically exist in my head just because I want it to.
But no one is born knowing how to build websites. No one is born knowing how to do anything, really.
So here’s the new goal I’m setting for myself: Learn how to use WordPress efficiently—just a little bit every day.
And in the meantime, thank you for bearing with me as this site goes through some visual changes and growing pains. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m going to figure it out.
Walking Update & A Podcast Shift
Today I also got in my 45 minutes on the walkpad. My original plan was to watch an episode of New Girl, but I felt a pull toward something different—so I put on an episode of the Mel Robbins podcast instead. I started with one about decluttering, but something in me said, “Nope, not this one. Not today.”
So I switched to an episode about changing the way you see the world and shifting your self-talk. And from the very first few minutes, I knew this was the message I was meant to hear today.
Tripping, But Still Moving Forward
Physically speaking? I was way off balance today. I tripped no fewer than three times during my walk. Like—real, hard, near face-plant trips. It’s a miracle I didn’t end up with a busted lip or bruised ego.
After each trip, I paused. I stepped off the walkpad. I caught my breath. I told myself I was safe. I sipped some water. And every time, I had the same thought: “Maybe I should stop. That was scary. What if I get hurt?”
But each time, I said: “Nope. I haven’t hit 45 minutes yet. Get back up there.”
And I did. I kept going. I finished all 45 minutes. I genuinely feel proud of myself for that.
Side note: I count my walking time based on the actual movement timer on the walkpad. Breaks aren’t included. It’s 45 full minutes of moving feet.
I kept a promise to myself today. And that matters.
Showing Up Honestly
I also promised myself I’d be honest here. Transparent. That I’d show the mess and the magic.
And with this post, I’ve done that. This is me showing up. This is a real moment. A real day. A real entry in the journey.
Documented. Done. Huzzah.
Thanks for being here. Stay tuned for more tales from the life of Bailz. 💜
Bailz Has a Blog 