Bailz Has a Blog

Tag: writing

  • 📚 “Take a Look, It’s in a Book”

    📚 “Take a Look, It’s in a Book”

    A large part of my journey right now is reading. I am consuming as much material that feels relevant as possible. To be fair though, I’m also throwing in some comfort reading—because ultimately, we are aiming for balance after all.

    Right now I’m reading The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck, and I’m rereading Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Oh—and I’m also listening to the audiobook of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (read by the iconic Jim Dale) as I fall asleep each night. Like I said, balance.

    📖 The Book That Changed Everything

    I started my self-improvement reading journey with The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins a few months ago. My aunt and my dad had both recommended it to me, and I had been seeing a lot of Mel’s podcast clips in my Instagram scrolls. So I picked up a copy—and things haven’t been the same since.

    I devoured it in a day and a half. I truly could not put it down. It was exactly what I needed to read in that moment. Honestly, it’s what I had needed to read my whole life.

    🧠 People-Pleasing, Meet Your Match

    I’ve spent the majority of my time on this earth being a people-pleaser. I learned early that it was easier—and safer—to mold myself into who others wanted me to be than to try to be my weird little self. So that’s what I did.

    Eventually, I got so good at it, I didn’t even realize how much I was doing it. By my late 20s, it was in every aspect of my life. I didn’t know who I really was anymore. I could barely keep up with the different versions of me I was performing for other people.

    I forgot how to just be me.

    Although… now that I think about it, I don’t think I forgot—I just never really learned how to be me in the first place.

    💡 Let Them… and Let Me

    Reading The Let Them Theory encouraged me to take a step back and start making that learning process a priority. I highly recommend reading the book (or listening to the audiobook) if you haven’t already. Mel Robbins explains that the theory works in two parts: Let Them and then Let Me.

    And it was that second part that really rocked my world.

    “What I love about Let Me is that it immediately shows you what you can control. And there’s so much you can control: your attitude…your behavior… your values, your needs, your desires, and what YOU want to do in response to what just happened. It’s the opposite of judgement. Let Me is all about self-awareness, compassion, empowerment, and personal responsibility.” – Mel Robbins

    That clicked. And I immediately started analyzing how I was moving through the world.

    I realized I had been telling myself that everything had to be done the way others did it—or how others told me to do it. I had never really been looking inward for answers. I was seeking approval and permission.

    So I vowed to myself to change that.

    ✨ Still Learning, Still Trying

    Now, let me be clear: I’m not about to tell you I’ve been perfectly aligned every day since. Come on, y’all. Be real.

    It is a STRUGGLE to stop people-pleasing. I know I’ll be unlearning it for a long time. But now I feel like I have the tools. I know what’s in my control and what isn’t. And I’m finally learning to release what isn’t—namely, other people and their actions.

    It’s an adjustment. When you’ve spent your whole life people-pleasing and suddenly stop, it really does feel like you’re being aggressive when you simply speak your truth.

    But what I’m learning is this:

    The people who genuinely love you will respect your voice. The only ones who won’t are the ones who benefitted from your silence.

    📚 Other Books That Have Helped Me

    The Let Them Theory was the first of many books I’ve read to help me on this journey. In addition to the ones I’m reading now, here’s what I’ve finished so far:

    • Yes Please by Amy Poehler
    • On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
    • Stop Saying You’re Fine by Mel Robbins
    • The Book of Shadow Work by Keila Shaheen
    • The High Five Habit by Mel Robbins
    • The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

    Each one has contributed to my self-awareness, empowerment, and growth. If you’re on your own journey, I’d recommend any (or all) of them.

    ⚖️ A Note on Balance

    One thing I’ve learned? Don’t try to power-read your way into healing. That’s a fast track to burnout.

    Early on, I got overwhelmed with all the homework-y self-help energy. So I paused and re-read all of Abby Jimenez’s books just to give my brain a break. Since then, I’ve made it a point to alternate self-improvement with comfort content.

    These books aren’t magic wands. But they’ve become mirrors—reflecting back parts of me I hadn’t met before, or had forgotten existed.

    💜 The Healing Is the Journey

    I’m learning that healing isn’t a destination—it’s the journey itself. And that journey looks a little different every day.

    Some days I’m ready to tackle big topics like self-compassion, purpose, and legacy. Other days, I just want to escape to Forks, Washington with some sparkly vampires. And both are perfectly fine.

    The old me would’ve shamed myself for “wasting time” on fiction or fun. But now, I’m working on quieting that inner critic. I’m embracing the rhythm of work and rest. Intention and indulgence. Reflection and release.

    Balance is the goal—not perfection.

    🫶 Thank You for Reading

    I’m so glad you’re here. Whether you’re on your own healing journey, or just popping in for the vibes—thank you for sharing this space with me.

    If you’ve read a book that changed how you see yourself, I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

    Until next time,
    – Bailz

  • What am I doing?

    What am I doing?

    But like, really, what am I doing?

    Like I said in my first post, the plan right now is to not have a plan — at least not in the big-picture sense.

    I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I don’t know what I want to do for a job. I don’t know what my future looks like. But I do know that I want to figure out all of that and more about myself. I want to find what feels good. I want to find what speaks to my most authentic self. And I want to find a way to love the life I’m living — on the good days and the bad.

    So how am I doing that?

    In lots of little ways.

    Over the course of my journey so far, I’ve been trying new things, holding on to the ones I like, and moving on from the ones that don’t serve me.

    Right now, I’m focusing my energy on the following priorities:

    • Sleeping when I’m tired / until I feel ready to get up – I know all the experts recommend alarms and routines, and that’s the goal eventually. But for now, I’m working on my relationship with rest. If my body wants sleep, I’m giving it to myself.
    • Taking a 20+ minute bath each night – I’m experimenting with Dead Sea salts, clays, essential oils — and creating a full sensory ritual to slow down and unwind.
    • Intentional content consumption – All new content must relate to self-improvement, spirituality, or happiness. Everything else must be comfort content: rereads, rewatches, and cozy favorites only.
    • High-fiving myself in the mirror – Every morning, and every time I pass one during the day.
    • Getting sunlight every day
    • Daily yoga – Whether it’s Yoga with Adriene or just moving intuitively, I’m building a habit of coming back to my body.
    • Writing every day – Whether it’s a blog post, journal entry, personal essay, or a session with ChatGPT — I’m keeping that creative part of my brain active.
    • Reading every day – Ideally one of my project books, but anything that brings joy counts.
    • Daily astrology check-ins – I read my horoscope in the Chani app each day and listen to the weekly forecast.
    • Following my impulses – Eating when I’m hungry, drinking water when I’m thirsty, moving when I feel stiff. I’m trying to really embrace the spirit of “Yes, and!”
    • Keeping my home organized – Light daily resets to keep the energy flowing cleanly around me.
    • Staying present and mindful – As much as I can, I’m learning to be here now.

    What I’m Letting Go Of

    As a recovering people pleaser, I’ve realized that part of creating a new life means releasing the old one. I can’t make room for these new, beautiful habits and truths while still dragging around emotional baggage from childhood, trauma, and outdated beliefs.

    So here’s what I’m actively trying to do less of, or eliminate completely:

    • “Should-ing” on myself – I’m done with the inner voice that tells me I “should” be doing something just because of guilt, pressure, or old programming.
    • Dwelling on past reactions – I’m working on forgiving myself for the ways I used to cope.
    • Agreeing to things I don’t want to do
    • Writing scripts in my head – I’m trying to stop assuming what other people are thinking about me.
    • Ignoring my own impulses – Especially when I have time and space to follow them.
    • Equating rest with laziness – Self-care is productive. Rest is worthy.
    • Shushing my inner voice for the comfort of others

    And here’s what I’ve noticed so far:

    • I cleaned out my closet – Six kitchen trash bags full of clothes are gone. I let go of things tied to past identities, bad memories, or unrealistic expectations. It was hard. And healing. And I’m still riding that high.
    • I put my phone on grayscale – I don’t scroll as much. It works. My phone feels like a tool again, not a trap.
    • I canceled Netflix – And instead became a monthly contributor to my favorite public radio station, 91.7 KXT. That decision felt really aligned.
    • I took myself to Guthrie, Oklahoma – Just me and the dogs. I took myself to dinner, went to trivia night, made friends, and stretched my independence. It changed something in me.

    So what’s the point of all this?

    As I continue to let go of what no longer serves and focus on what makes me feel whole and authentic, I know there will be more changes and milestones ahead.

    But I’m not naive. I know I’ll still have hard days. I’ll still get in funks, feel doubt, and question everything. That’s life.

    My goal isn’t to avoid those days — it’s to be better prepared to care for myself through them.

    That’s what this whole project is about: learning to take better care of myself — body, mind, and spirit — no matter what the circumstances might be.

    Thanks for following along. I’m so glad you’re here.

  • Welcome!

    Welcome!

    Hello and welcome to Bailz Has a Blog!

    I’m Bailz, and this is my new blog. I’m in the middle of a big shift in my life, and I want to document it — so, here we are.

    Let’s back up. I should probably introduce myself.

    I’m a 35-year-old woman currently living in Texas with my husband, Heath, and our two dogs, Winston and Wrigley. I’m a writer, a recovering people pleaser, an artist, an eclectic witch, a Swiftie, a lifelong learner, a purple girlie, a hippie, a music lover, an Oxford comma advocate, a trivia champ, a cheese enthusiast, and a romantic. I’m a homebody, always down to watch The Office. My favorite animals are pandas and goats. And my dream is to leave behind big-city life and try on small-town living for a while.

    The past few years have brought a lot of chaos and change my way.

    • I’ve battled and survived cancer.
    • I’ve acknowledged and cut ties with toxic family members.
    • I quit my 9–5 job — the one that paid the bills but drained my spirit.
    • And I’ve finally started looking inward for happiness, instead of relying so heavily on external validation.

    2025 has been a major catalyst in my journey toward self-knowledge and growth, but things really kicked into gear when I quit my job in July without anything else lined up. There was no plan — except the plan to have no plan. I made myself slow down and smell the roses.

    And you know what? It’s kind of working.

    So, I’ve decided I want to share what I’m discovering — for anyone who might need it, or want it, or simply be curious about what happens when a person says “enough” and starts over.

    Over the last couple of months, I’ve been actively pursuing happiness — and soaking up everything I can find about what it really means. I’ve been listening to podcasts, reading self-improvement books, spiritual guides, memoirs, and anything else that feels relevant. I’ve dipped my toes into shadow work and Buddhist philosophy. I’ve started incorporating yoga into my daily routine. I move my body more intentionally. I’m listening more closely to what my body and spirit are trying to tell me. I’m learning to say yes to my instincts. To trust myself.

    I’ve been documenting most of this in various notebooks, Word docs, and phone notes — but now I’m turning it into an official project, inspired by Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. That’s what this blog is: a space to reflect, to share, to be honest, and to learn out loud.

    I’ll post stories, reflections, experiments, and lessons I’ve already lived. I’ll also be sharing in real time as I continue forward.

    So, welcome to my journey.

    I can’t promise it’s going to be fun all the time — but I can promise it will be weird and interesting.

    Which, now that I say it, might be my personal slogan:
    Not always fun, but always weird and interesting.

    I’ll be trying new things, reading new things, learning new things, and sharing it all along the way. If that sounds like something you might resonate with — stick around. I’d love the company.