Bailz Has a Blog

Tag: authentic living

  • 🎉 Six Months Sober: How I Feel and What I’ve Learned 🎉

    🎉 Six Months Sober: How I Feel and What I’ve Learned 🎉

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Thursday!

    Tomorrow marks six months of sobriety for me. WOW! That feels pretty huge, and honestly, I can’t believe it’s already been half a year.

    I am feeling incredibly grateful and incredibly proud of the work I’ve done to get here. There have been days when sobriety has felt easy, and there have been days when I’ve come very close to reaching for a drink. Every single one of those days mattered. They all added up to six full months of sobriety.

    Hell fucking yes.

    🌱 Why I Quit

    In November 2025, I reached a breaking point and decided enough was enough.

    I had spent the previous few months getting serious about my health and self-care, and the more attention I paid, the more I realized how much alcohol and THC were getting in the way of my healing journey.

    Now, I want to make one thing very clear: I do not think alcohol or THC are inherently bad. I know plenty of people who use both in healthy and manageable ways.

    But my relationships with alcohol and THC were absolutely negative and detrimental.

    I was using them to numb, avoid, and bottle up my feelings. And that’s just no good.

    😴 The First Thing That Changed: Sleep

    One of the biggest improvements I’ve noticed is my sleep.

    Sleep is still something I work on, both in terms of quality and consistency, but it has become significantly easier to get restful sleep since getting sober. And when you add in the complete absence of hangovers? That’s a pretty substantial win.

    Before sobriety, I drank almost every night. I told myself it helped me sleep, and technically it often did. The problem was that the sleep I was getting was terrible.

    I wasn’t getting deep, restorative sleep. I wasn’t waking up refreshed. Most mornings I woke up anxious, exhausted, and already looking forward to my next drink so I could take the edge off again.

    Looking back now, the pattern feels obvious.

    At the time, I genuinely didn’t see it.

    🐅 Running From Tigers

    I was so burned out and so deeply stuck in fight, flight, or freeze that everything felt like a tiger was chasing me.

    And I really do mean everything.

    Good things. Bad things. Neutral things.

    Everything made me panic.

    Except when I had a drink or a joint in my hand. Then the tigers left me alone for a little while.

    So I leaned pretty heavily on both of them.

    When I began my healing journey, I started learning how to feel my emotions instead of running from them. I started experimenting with healthier coping tools. The more I practiced them and saw their benefits, the less I found myself reaching for alcohol and THC.

    Eventually, I was ready to let them go altogether.

    💭 My Sobriety Dreams

    One unexpected thing that came with sobriety is that I started dreaming again and remembering my dreams much more clearly.

    What’s really interesting is that I dream about sobriety fairly often.

    For months, I had recurring dreams where I would drink, smoke, or take a gummy. In the dream, I’d suddenly realize what I’d done and immediately panic.

    “Wait! I don’t do this anymore! Why did I do this? Now I have to start over. I’m back at day one!”

    Then I’d wake up confused, upset, and stressed… only to realize it was just a dream.

    The relief was immediate every single time.

    More recently, though, the dreams have changed.

    Now, when I’m offered a drink, smoke, or gummy in a dream, I accept it… and then stop myself right before consuming it.

    I hear myself say:

    “No thank you. I don’t do this anymore.”

    Hell yes, Dream Bailz. Hell yes!

    That shift feels significant, and I’m incredibly proud of it.

    🍹 The Unexpected Joy of Mocktails

    Another wonderful thing that’s come out of sobriety has been discovering mocktails.

    Okay, technically I already knew they existed.

    I just never paid much attention to them before because if I was ordering something besides water, it was definitely going to contain alcohol.

    Since getting sober, I’ve tried every mocktail that catches my eye, and let me tell you: there are some absolutely delicious options out there.

    When Heath and I were in Florida, I ordered mocktails with almost every meal. Each one felt like a delightful little treat.

    It felt good to treat myself to something that wasn’t going to make me feel worse afterward.

    Sure, there might be the occasional sugar crash.

    But that’s a whole lot better than a hangover.

    🥗 Rebuilding My Relationship With Food

    One of the most surprising benefits of sobriety has been a dramatic improvement in my appetite.

    For years, I relied on THC to help me eat.

    I was so deep in burnout that my appetite was nearly nonexistent. I’d go as long as possible without eating, then suddenly become ravenous and reach for whatever was quickest and easiest.

    To combat that, I started smoking to stimulate my appetite.

    And honestly? It worked.

    But it also became a crutch.

    I had unintentionally trained my brain to associate hunger with smoking. Eventually, if I didn’t smoke, I couldn’t get hungry.

    When I realized that, I knew something needed to change.

    I started limiting my use before quitting altogether. I only allowed myself to smoke after I had prepared a real meal.

    Eventually, because my use had become so structured, it stopped being enjoyable.

    Quitting felt like the natural next step.

    Retraining my brain and appetite took some time, but honestly, not nearly as much time as I expected.

    As my sleep improved and my nervous system calmed down, my eating habits began to improve too.

    🍳 Learning New Ways to Cope

    I also started using cooking as a coping tool.

    Whenever I felt the urge to drink or smoke, I’d make myself a meal instead.

    By the time I finished preparing it, I wasn’t thinking about alcohol or THC anymore.

    I was thinking about how delicious the food smelled.

    And how proud I was of myself.

    🧠 Facing the Tiger

    When your brain thinks a tiger is chasing you, it isn’t concerned about sleeping well or eating nutritious meals.

    It’s focused on keeping you alive.

    That’s its job.

    And when you’ve been running from that tiger for years, you stop realizing you’re running.

    At least, that’s what happened to me.

    I spent so long trapped in fight, flight, or freeze that I assumed I was inherently lazy. Unmotivated. Broken. Chronically ill.

    I thought that was simply who I was.

    But once I started turning around and facing the tiger instead of running from it, things slowly started changing.

    Not overnight.

    Not through some magical transformation.

    Just through hundreds of tiny choices that slowly added up.

    💜 Six Months Later

    I am incredibly proud of how far I’ve come in the last six months.

    And I’m incredibly proud that I’ve made it six months.

    When I quit, I knew it was something I truly wanted. I also knew it was going to be difficult, and I knew there was a chance I might slip up.

    So far, I’ve stayed true to myself and to the goals I set.

    And honestly?

    That feels really freaking good.

    Love always,
    Bailz 💜

  • ✨ Reiki: The Newest Tool in My Toolkit ✨

    ✨ Reiki: The Newest Tool in My Toolkit ✨

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Friday!

    This past month has been busy in the best way. I’ve traveled, I’ve socialized, I’ve completed another journey around the sun, and I’ve learned a new practice that has been incredibly helpful in my healing journey.

    🎂 Another Trip Around the Sun

    Last Saturday, I turned 36. Huzzah! This has been the first birthday where I can confidently say I do indeed feel older and wiser.

    I’ve spent the last year actively diving deep into self-healing, figuring out who I am and, just as importantly, who I am not.

    I’ve been expanding my awareness, focusing on living with intention, and learning how to truly care for myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Looking back at where I was a year ago and everything that has happened over the last twelve months, I am just so incredibly proud of myself.

    🌊 Amelia Island & Nervous System Reset

    To celebrate my birthday, Heath and I went to Amelia Island on the east coast of Florida last weekend, and honestly? It was exactly what my mind, body, and spirit needed.

    The slower pace. The abundant sunshine. Eating great food. Enjoying tasty mocktails. Swimming in the ocean. Walking as much as we could. Every part of the trip felt like a little love letter to myself.

    My nervous system feels like it has had a full reset, and I am so deeply grateful for that.

    I find myself able to be much more present lately, much more consistently. And I owe a lot of that recent progress to my newest practice: Reiki.

    ✨ Becoming Reiki Certified

    Last month, I signed up for an online course to become certified as a Level 1 Reiki Practitioner with a focus on self-healing. Yesterday, I completed and submitted my coursework and received my certificate.

    When I saw the certificate arrive in my inbox, I immediately started crying tears of pride and excitement. It felt overwhelming in the best possible way because this was something I chose to do for myself. Something I felt deeply called toward. And I followed through with it.

    Completing it feels like a huge victory.

    🌀 What Reiki Has Been Teaching Me

    Over the past few weeks, I’ve learned about how energy and intention can be used to support healing within the body. I’ve learned about the chakras and how imbalances within them can correspond to both physical and emotional symptoms.

    More importantly, though, I’ve learned to approach healing with curiosity rather than expectation, compassion rather than judgment, and trust rather than doubt.

    One thing that really stood out to me during my studies was learning that curiosity activates the parasympathetic nervous system, our “rest and digest” state, while judgment activates the sympathetic nervous system, our “fight or flight” response.

    That realization alone shifted something in me.

    But more than anything else, Reiki has reminded me that I am far more powerful than I have ever given myself credit for.

    🎧 The Science of Reiki

    My teacher recently released a brand-new podcast all about the science of Reiki, and if you’re curious to learn more, you can check out episode one here:

    🌿 Reiki in Everyday Life

    I’ve started incorporating Reiki into my daily life through both full-length healing sessions that last around fifteen to thirty minutes and quick grounding moments that take two minutes or less.

    I’ve been learning to reach for Reiki during moments when I feel overwhelmed or triggered. Pairing deep breaths with Reiki principles has become an incredibly grounding practice for me, whether I recite them silently in my head or out loud.

    ✨ The Five Reiki Principles

    • Just for today, I will not anger
    • Just for today, I will not worry
    • Just for today, I will be grateful
    • Just for today, I will do my work honestly, no matter what it is
    • Just for today, I will be kind to myself and to others

    My teacher suggested simplifying them even further by changing the beginning of each principle to “Just for this breath…” and honestly? That tiny shift has been a complete game-changer for me.

    I now find myself taking deep breaths and thinking, “Just for this breath, I will not worry,” multiple times a day.

    It has helped keep me calm through everything from navigating airport security and crowded spaces to handling overwhelming social situations and even nearly being run off the road by a negligent driver.

    Every time I reach for Reiki, it creates a moment to pause and check in with myself. A moment to consciously choose how I want to respond instead of reacting instinctively.

    🌙 The Changes I’ve Been Noticing

    Since starting Reiki, I’ve been falling asleep more easily and sleeping better overall. I’ve been able to stay present much more consistently. I’ve been slowing down and actually listening to what my mind and body need in each moment.

    I’ve been speaking up for myself more confidently. Trusting myself more deeply. Feeling more authentic, more peaceful, and more grounded with every passing day and every new practice, whether it lasts thirty minutes or thirty seconds.

    🔮 What Comes Next

    I plan to continue my Reiki studies and complete Reiki Level 2 in the fall, and I feel incredibly proud of myself for listening to my intuition and investing in myself throughout this journey.

    With Reiki Level 1 training, I can focus primarily on healing myself and the space around me. I’ve been channeling Reiki not only into my body, but also into my water, food, plants, skincare, and yes, even my dogs.

    Once I complete Reiki Level 2, I’ll also be able to help support the healing of others, potentially even on a professional level someday, and that possibility feels really exciting to me.

    💜 Closing Thoughts

    So far, 36 is off to a really beautiful start.

    I can’t wait to see what the rest of this year has in store for me. I can’t wait to continue growing, healing, and becoming even more authentic and powerful by the time 37 rolls around.

    And honestly? That feels pretty magical.

    Thank you for being here! I am so grateful for all of you!

    Love always,
    Bailz 💜

  • 🌿 Expansion & Contraction

    🌿 Expansion & Contraction

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Friday!

    It’s been a while since my last post. The past month or so brought a wave of depression that knocked me off my footing for a bit. I lost my rhythm for a while, but I am starting to come back to myself and I finally feel ready to return to this space and share again.

    🌊 The Rhythm of Healing

    At the start of the year, I was in a season of expansion.

    I was making meaningful progress in therapy, showing up to yoga twice a week, and really stepping into my independence and personal power.

    And then, like clockwork, contraction arrived.

    Even though I know contraction is natural, necessary, and part of the deal when it comes to healing, it was still hard to accept while I was in it. I knew it would pass. I knew it was temporary. But that didn’t make it any less difficult.

    🖤 Feeling It All

    Something I’ve noticed since starting this healing journey is that my awareness has expanded significantly. And with that expanded awareness came deeper, more intense emotional experiences.

    I am no longer numbing out or turning away from the hard feelings. I am actually feeling them. And this time around, it hit harder because of that.

    It knocked me on my ass for a bit, if I’m being honest.

    The upside is that I now have more tools than ever before. I was able to move through it faster than I ever have in the past, and that feels like real progress.

    🧠 When the Past Comes Knocking

    Here’s what I think really happened.

    As I worked on healing my present self, I created space. And that space invited past versions of me to come forward and finally be heard.

    And they were not subtle about it.

    At the time those experiences originally happened, I didn’t have the capacity to fully process them. So I avoided, suppressed, numbed, and buried them. Drugs, alcohol, distraction, all of it.

    But those emotions do not just disappear. They wait. And when it is finally safe enough, they rise.

    So as I stepped out of burnout and into healing, everything I had buried came back up to the surface.

    Honestly, it felt like an emotional zombie apocalypse.

    My bestie, Ryann, sent me this video a few weeks ago, and it helped me understand what was happening in a way that really clicked. I shared it with Heath too, and he found it helpful.

    Here it is in case it resonates with you as well:

    🧘‍♀️ Showing Up Anyway

    Even though this past month was heavy, I still showed up for myself in the ways that mattered most.

    Even on the days I wasn’t feeling it, I made it to yoga. I kept my back to back classes, one hour of hot vinyasa followed by one hour of restorative.

    I kept every therapy appointment.

    I kept every chiropractic appointment.

    And most importantly, I stayed sober, even when things felt the heaviest. It has been 147 days since my last drink, 158 days since I last smoked, and I am incredibly proud of myself for that.

    That matters more than anything.

    Of course, not everything stayed perfectly on track. My sleep schedule has been all over the place again, staying up late and sleeping in. And naturally, my eating schedule has followed suit.

    As I come out of this fog, getting my sleep and nutrition back into alignment feels like my biggest priority.

    🌸 Gentle Rebuilding

    I am also being very intentional about how I approach this next phase.

    I know by now that being hard on myself does not work. Being critical does not create sustainable change. It just creates more resistance.

    So I am choosing softness.

    I am choosing patience.

    I am choosing to trust the process.

    I will get back to my ideal routines. Maybe not overnight, maybe not even this week. But little by little, I will get there.

    🔔 Moments That Shifted Something

    Last weekend, Heath and I went to a sound bath at my yoga studio, and it was incredible.

    Neither of us had ever done one before, and we both left feeling lighter, both physically and energetically.

    Heath has been dealing with a shoulder injury for over a year, and afterward he had more range of motion and less pain than he has had in a long time. He went in skeptical and came out a believer.

    For me, it felt like the clouds started to part. I went in feeling heavy and disconnected, and I walked out feeling more present, more grounded, and more like myself.

    Then Wednesday came.

    I had my yearly oncology check up, and I am so happy to say that all of my bloodwork came back healthy and I am still cancer free. 🤍

    I will go back in December for another scan, but for now, I am in the clear.

    Heath took the day off to come with me, and we ended up spending the whole day together. We had brunch, went to the chiropractor, drove around listening to music, and he even came with me to restorative yoga that evening.

    Something about that day felt like a turning point. The sound bath cleared the fog, and Wednesday felt like the beginning of rebuilding.

    ✨ Stepping Into Something New

    This week, I also started a six week online Reiki course, and I am so excited about it.

    For anyone unfamiliar, Reiki is a Japanese energy healing practice that supports the body’s natural healing processes, reduces stress, and promotes relaxation and overall wellbeing.

    It is something I have been curious about for a long time, and I finally felt ready to say yes to it.

    I am really proud of myself for investing in my healing in this way.

    🌱 Moving Forward

    Right now, I feel more like myself again. I feel hopeful. I feel grounded. I feel ready to expand again.

    And I also know that contraction will come back at some point. That is just part of the rhythm.

    But I trust myself more now. I trust that I can move through it with more awareness, more compassion, and more resilience each time.

    This cycle was hard, but I handled it better than I ever have before.

    I did not run from it.

    I did not numb it.

    I sat with it. I felt it. I honored it.

    And now, I am ready for what comes next.

    💜 A Little Reminder

    Healing is not linear. It never has been.

    There will be highs and lows, expansions and contractions, clarity and confusion. That is all part of the journey.

    Be gentle with yourself. Trust yourself. You will make it through.

    I love you all. Thank you for being here with me, and thank you for your patience while I took a step back.

    I am really excited to be writing again.

    Love always,
    Bailz 💜

  • 🎨 My Week Two Artist Date: A Conversation with Beauty

    🎨 My Week Two Artist Date: A Conversation with Beauty

    Hey, hi, hello! Happy Wednesday, everyone! 👋

    As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. In addition to daily morning pages, she also recommends a weekly Artist Date — and I just got back home from mine for this week, so I wanted to share a little bit about it.

    🌿 What Is an Artist Date?

    Great question! Cameron describes it as:

    “A block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness — your inner artist.”

    She also notes that:

    “You do not take anyone on this artist date but you and your inner artist, a.k.a. your creative child.”

    So essentially, it’s a weekly solo adventure meant to refill your creative well — no productivity required, no audience to impress.

    💅 Week One: Playing It Safe

    For my first Artist Date, I played it pretty safe and took myself to get my nails done. I incorporated the “artist” part by intuitively choosing a different color than usual — red this time instead of my signature black. Small shift, big statement.

    🖼️ Week Two: The Kimbell Art Museum

    For week two, I wanted to stretch myself a bit and really lean into the artist concept.

    After my chiropractor appointment this morning, I decided that today would be my Artist Date day. I took myself to the Kimbell Art Museum here in Fort Worth. I’ve been before, but never by myself — so this experience was new and exciting, but also a little intimidating.

    I’m not really a “go-do-stuff-by-myself” kind of gal, but I’m working on that. And today was a great exercise in doing something just for me.

    ✨ Letting Art Be Enough

    I wandered for about an hour and a half, just soaking in the beauty of the paintings and sculptures on display.

    Within the first few minutes, I knew I was going to want to write about my experience here on the blog. I was so tempted to shape my visit around that — taking photos, making notes, writing the post in my head as I went. But I stopped myself.

    The whole point was to take my inner artist out — just me and her, looking at some art together. Not to turn the experience into a performance.

    So, I decided to simply be there. To let beauty do what beauty does best — speak without words.

    I only took one photo: Caravaggio’s Judith Beheading Holofernes (on loan from Rome). It was… pretty rad.

    🧘‍♀️ Coming Home to Myself

    Now that I’m back home, I plan to do some yoga and get my steps in on the walk pad. As much as I’m feeling the pull toward a nap, I’m trying to hold off and stay consistent with the rhythm I’m building.

    Last night, I started a new bedtime routine to help me reset my sleep cycle. (Shoutout to ChatGPT for helping me design it — it’s a whole two-hour wind-down process that gets me in bed, lights out, by 10 p.m.)

    Even though it still took me a little while to drift off, I didn’t reach for my phone or my book after ten. I kept my eye mask on and focused on my breathing.

    Any time my thoughts wandered, instead of beating myself up, I gently thought:

    “That’s nice. I’m going to focus back on my breathing now.”

    It felt strange at first — but so good to be nice to myself.

    💭 Learning to Be Kind Inside My Own Head

    Now that I’m really paying attention to how I talk to myself, I’m realizing how incredibly negative I’ve been for so long — maybe my whole life. I used to justify it as self-improvement, but honestly, it only made things harder.

    So, I’m trying something new: gentle self-compassion. And it seems to be working.

    My night sweats are still lingering, but they’re so much better than before. I didn’t have to get up or change clothes last night — which feels like a win! I’m hoping that as I keep focusing on healing my body and my mind (through chiropractic care, yoga, walking, better nutrition, and real rest), the physical symptoms will fade, and I can turn my full energy toward the deeper work — inner child healing, and learning to move through the world with less fear and more faith.

    Because honestly? Everything feels more manageable when I’m sleeping well.

    🌙 Closing Thoughts

    So, fingers crossed that things will only improve from here — but even if progress is slow, I’m learning to celebrate the small shifts.

    Today reminded me that healing doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes it’s just you, quietly standing in front of a painting, remembering that beauty exists — and that you belong to it.

    Here’s to more Artist Dates, more gentle self-talk, and more days that feel like a deep breath. 🌸

    Thank you for being here with me on this journey! I am so grateful for you all!

    Love always, Bailz 💜

    ✨ Stay Connected ✨

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  • 🌅 Morning Pages, Affirmations, and the Art of Showing Up (Even When You Don’t Want To)

    🌅 Morning Pages, Affirmations, and the Art of Showing Up (Even When You Don’t Want To)

    I’m currently on week two of working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and I’m really enjoying the process so far. The biggest change I’ve incorporated is what Cameron calls morning pages — and let me tell you, they’ve been transformative.

    Every morning, as soon as I wake up, I sit at the kitchen table and write three full pages, longhand, in pure stream-of-consciousness style. I put the date and time at the top of the first page and just let it flow.

    Some mornings start with:

    • “I’m pissed off today because I’m so tired and annoyed with my night sweats.”
    • “I just feel angry today.”
    • “I don’t know what to write, I don’t know what to write,” — repeated for half a page until something new bubbles up, and off I go.

    Not always, but usually, by the time I reach the end of my third page, I feel lighter. Still tired, yes — but no longer radiating rage. After those three pages, I fill one more page (front and back) with affirmations inspired by a Mel Robbins podcast I recently watched:

    🎧 8 Things to Say to Yourself Every Morning to Change Your Life

    💬 The Affirmations I Write Each Day:

    • Today is going to be a great day.
    • Something cool is going to happen to me today.
    • No matter what happens today, I can handle it.
    • An exciting new chapter is beginning.
    • I need to give myself more credit for how hard I’m trying.
    • I am allowed to be a work in progress.
    • If I keep showing up, life will reward me.
    • I have something important to contribute to the world.

    Once I finish my three pages, I repeat those eight affirmations four times, which fills a front and back page perfectly. And when I’m done? I usually feel capable — sometimes even motivated enough to hop on the walk pad or roll out the yoga mat almost immediately without really having to talk myself into it. Considering how I often start these pages with “I’m so freaking angry right now,” that feels pretty miraculous.

    🌞 The Power of Showing Up

    There have been several mornings where I’ve wanted to skip the pages — to tell myself, “I’ll do them later.” But they’re not called whenever-you-want pages. They’re called morning pages. So I’ve stuck with them, and I’m honestly proud of that.

    This morning, though, was a real test.

    I was asleep by midnight with my alarm set for 8:00 AM so I could be up in time for my chiropractor appointment. But around 4:45, I woke up drenched in sweat — again. I changed clothes, moved to the guest room, and lay there for an hour before I fell back asleep. When I finally did, I had nightmares until Winston barked just before my alarm went off.

    I was furious when I got up. Bone-tired and frustrated. But I still sat down and wrote. The pages were messy, cranky, and full of complaints — but that’s the point. The act of writing helps me let go. I’d rather vent to the page than carry it in my chest all day.

    💫 Affirmations, Adjustments, and Exhaustion

    When I finished my pages, I tried to bargain with myself about skipping affirmations. “I’m tired. I have my appointment soon. I’ll do them later.” But I caught myself — that’s exactly when I need them most. So I did them anyway. I wrote fast, a little sloppy, but I still did them. And that counts.

    After that, I went to my chiropractic appointment. Dr. Lauren said she got everything adjusted that she wanted to today, which is great news. I’m a little sore, especially in my hips and neck, but that’s expected — my muscles are adjusting to the bones being where they’re supposed to be again.

    I wish I could say that put me in a great mood, but honestly, my sleep deprivation is catching up with me. I am so tired. I can’t remember the last time I woke up dry, or rested, or without dread in my chest. When that’s your normal, it wears you down.

    Heath and I have been doing a ton of research to figure out what’s causing it. I’ve adjusted my diet, started supplements, drastically reduced alcohol, added protein before bed, hydrated more, and focused on nervous system regulation. I’m doing everything right — and nothing’s working yet. It’s defeating. But I’m still hopeful that as my body continues to rebalance through chiropractic care and all the other work I’m doing, relief will come.

    When I got home from my appointment, I crawled back into bed for a nap. I woke up sweaty and cranky again, but I’m trying to stay patient. I know things will get better eventually. I have to believe that. Otherwise, I’ll lose my mind.

    For now, I’m just taking it one page, one stretch, one affirmation at a time.

    💜
    Love always,
    Bailz

    ✨ If you’re on your own healing or creative journey, I hope this reminds you that showing up for yourself doesn’t have to be perfect — it just has to be consistent. Every word, every stretch, every act of care counts. You’re doing better than you think. 💜

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  • 🌀 A Spine-Tingling Update (Literally)

    🌀 A Spine-Tingling Update (Literally)

    Well, I had my follow-up with the chiropractor this afternoon, and MAN is my spine jacked up, y’all! My hips are rotated in ways they should not be, my mid-back is all kinds of tight, and I have some scoliosis in the top part of my spine and neck. Seeing the scans and X-rays definitely got me in my feels.

    I knew it was bad—bad enough to seek help—but I didn’t think it was that bad. Still, after hearing Dr. Lauren explain everything, it all makes sense. A lot of the things I’ve struggled with can be symptoms of a misaligned spine: difficulty sleeping, depression, focus and memory issues, anxiety and stress, allergies and congestion, even ADHD. Crazy, right?

    🌿 The Plan

    We’ve created a 90-day treatment plan, and I’ll be going three days a week for adjustments. Every 30 days, we’ll redo the scans to track progress and fine-tune as needed. I got my first adjustment today—my first in a long time—and oh my goodness, it felt amazing. Especially my neck! It was all kinds of snap, crackle, and pop. She told me to expect some emotional release afterward… and she wasn’t kidding. I cried almost my entire drive home. It felt like a dam finally breaking.

    🧘‍♀️ Movement & Mindfulness

    Before my appointment, I did a short Yoga with Adriene practice to center myself and stretch out. After I got home from my appointment, I hopped on the walk pad—but I changed up my approach. Instead of my usual 45 minutes, I walked for 20 minutes at a slow, steady pace. I wanted to move my body gently today, and that’s exactly what I did.

    Now, as I’m writing this, I’m feeling sore and tired, so the rest of my day is all about gentleness and rest. My plan? Cozy clothes, dogs on the couch, and a good book or two.

    📚 My Healing Companions

    I’m currently reading The Artist’s Way, How to Do the Work, and The Body Keeps the Score—a powerhouse trio for healing the mind, body, and spirit.

    💤 The Ongoing Battle with Sleep

    I’m still really struggling with sleep. Falling asleep feels impossible some nights, and when I finally do, I wake up drenched in sweat—like full wardrobe-change, move-to-another-spot-on-the-bed levels of sweat. It’s exhausting, and I know my lack of rest is affecting everything else. I’m hopeful that with continued chiropractic care and the other work I’m doing, I’ll start seeing some improvement soon.

    💜 The Gentle Reminder

    I’m proud of myself for sticking to my goals—but I’m also proud of myself for listening to my body. Yesterday, I wanted to walk and do yoga, but my body said, “Nope, not today.” So instead, I rested and read, and that was the right call. That’s growth, too.

    I’m not at 100% yet, and that’s okay. I’m still in recovery, and healing takes time. I’m learning that giving myself grace is part of the work. I have a plan, a path, and patience—and that’s enough for today.

    As always, thank you for being here. I am so grateful for you. 💜

    Love always,
    Bailz

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