This past month has been busy in the best way. I’ve traveled, I’ve socialized, I’ve completed another journey around the sun, and I’ve learned a new practice that has been incredibly helpful in my healing journey.
🎂 Another Trip Around the Sun
Last Saturday, I turned 36. Huzzah! This has been the first birthday where I can confidently say I do indeed feel older and wiser.
I’ve spent the last year actively diving deep into self-healing, figuring out who I am and, just as importantly, who I am not.
I’ve been expanding my awareness, focusing on living with intention, and learning how to truly care for myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Looking back at where I was a year ago and everything that has happened over the last twelve months, I am just so incredibly proud of myself.
🌊 Amelia Island & Nervous System Reset
To celebrate my birthday, Heath and I went to Amelia Island on the east coast of Florida last weekend, and honestly? It was exactly what my mind, body, and spirit needed.
The slower pace. The abundant sunshine. Eating great food. Enjoying tasty mocktails. Swimming in the ocean. Walking as much as we could. Every part of the trip felt like a little love letter to myself.
My nervous system feels like it has had a full reset, and I am so deeply grateful for that.
I find myself able to be much more present lately, much more consistently. And I owe a lot of that recent progress to my newest practice: Reiki.
✨ Becoming Reiki Certified
Last month, I signed up for an online course to become certified as a Level 1 Reiki Practitioner with a focus on self-healing. Yesterday, I completed and submitted my coursework and received my certificate.
When I saw the certificate arrive in my inbox, I immediately started crying tears of pride and excitement. It felt overwhelming in the best possible way because this was something I chose to do for myself. Something I felt deeply called toward. And I followed through with it.
Completing it feels like a huge victory.
🌀 What Reiki Has Been Teaching Me
Over the past few weeks, I’ve learned about how energy and intention can be used to support healing within the body. I’ve learned about the chakras and how imbalances within them can correspond to both physical and emotional symptoms.
More importantly, though, I’ve learned to approach healing with curiosity rather than expectation, compassion rather than judgment, and trust rather than doubt.
One thing that really stood out to me during my studies was learning that curiosity activates the parasympathetic nervous system, our “rest and digest” state, while judgment activates the sympathetic nervous system, our “fight or flight” response.
That realization alone shifted something in me.
But more than anything else, Reiki has reminded me that I am far more powerful than I have ever given myself credit for.
🎧 The Science of Reiki
My teacher recently released a brand-new podcast all about the science of Reiki, and if you’re curious to learn more, you can check out episode one here:
🌿 Reiki in Everyday Life
I’ve started incorporating Reiki into my daily life through both full-length healing sessions that last around fifteen to thirty minutes and quick grounding moments that take two minutes or less.
I’ve been learning to reach for Reiki during moments when I feel overwhelmed or triggered. Pairing deep breaths with Reiki principles has become an incredibly grounding practice for me, whether I recite them silently in my head or out loud.
✨ The Five Reiki Principles
Just for today, I will not anger
Just for today, I will not worry
Just for today, I will be grateful
Just for today, I will do my work honestly, no matter what it is
Just for today, I will be kind to myself and to others
My teacher suggested simplifying them even further by changing the beginning of each principle to “Just for this breath…” and honestly? That tiny shift has been a complete game-changer for me.
I now find myself taking deep breaths and thinking, “Just for this breath, I will not worry,” multiple times a day.
It has helped keep me calm through everything from navigating airport security and crowded spaces to handling overwhelming social situations and even nearly being run off the road by a negligent driver.
Every time I reach for Reiki, it creates a moment to pause and check in with myself. A moment to consciously choose how I want to respond instead of reacting instinctively.
🌙 The Changes I’ve Been Noticing
Since starting Reiki, I’ve been falling asleep more easily and sleeping better overall. I’ve been able to stay present much more consistently. I’ve been slowing down and actually listening to what my mind and body need in each moment.
I’ve been speaking up for myself more confidently. Trusting myself more deeply. Feeling more authentic, more peaceful, and more grounded with every passing day and every new practice, whether it lasts thirty minutes or thirty seconds.
🔮 What Comes Next
I plan to continue my Reiki studies and complete Reiki Level 2 in the fall, and I feel incredibly proud of myself for listening to my intuition and investing in myself throughout this journey.
With Reiki Level 1 training, I can focus primarily on healing myself and the space around me. I’ve been channeling Reiki not only into my body, but also into my water, food, plants, skincare, and yes, even my dogs.
Once I complete Reiki Level 2, I’ll also be able to help support the healing of others, potentially even on a professional level someday, and that possibility feels really exciting to me.
💜 Closing Thoughts
So far, 36 is off to a really beautiful start.
I can’t wait to see what the rest of this year has in store for me. I can’t wait to continue growing, healing, and becoming even more authentic and powerful by the time 37 rolls around.
And honestly? That feels pretty magical.
Thank you for being here! I am so grateful for all of you!
It’s been a while since my last post. The past month or so brought a wave of depression that knocked me off my footing for a bit. I lost my rhythm for a while, but I am starting to come back to myself and I finally feel ready to return to this space and share again.
🌊 The Rhythm of Healing
At the start of the year, I was in a season of expansion.
I was making meaningful progress in therapy, showing up to yoga twice a week, and really stepping into my independence and personal power.
And then, like clockwork, contraction arrived.
Even though I know contraction is natural, necessary, and part of the deal when it comes to healing, it was still hard to accept while I was in it. I knew it would pass. I knew it was temporary. But that didn’t make it any less difficult.
🖤 Feeling It All
Something I’ve noticed since starting this healing journey is that my awareness has expanded significantly. And with that expanded awareness came deeper, more intense emotional experiences.
I am no longer numbing out or turning away from the hard feelings. I am actually feeling them. And this time around, it hit harder because of that.
It knocked me on my ass for a bit, if I’m being honest.
The upside is that I now have more tools than ever before. I was able to move through it faster than I ever have in the past, and that feels like real progress.
🧠 When the Past Comes Knocking
Here’s what I think really happened.
As I worked on healing my present self, I created space. And that space invited past versions of me to come forward and finally be heard.
And they were not subtle about it.
At the time those experiences originally happened, I didn’t have the capacity to fully process them. So I avoided, suppressed, numbed, and buried them. Drugs, alcohol, distraction, all of it.
But those emotions do not just disappear. They wait. And when it is finally safe enough, they rise.
So as I stepped out of burnout and into healing, everything I had buried came back up to the surface.
Honestly, it felt like an emotional zombie apocalypse.
My bestie, Ryann, sent me this video a few weeks ago, and it helped me understand what was happening in a way that really clicked. I shared it with Heath too, and he found it helpful.
Here it is in case it resonates with you as well:
🧘♀️ Showing Up Anyway
Even though this past month was heavy, I still showed up for myself in the ways that mattered most.
Even on the days I wasn’t feeling it, I made it to yoga. I kept my back to back classes, one hour of hot vinyasa followed by one hour of restorative.
I kept every therapy appointment.
I kept every chiropractic appointment.
And most importantly, I stayed sober, even when things felt the heaviest. It has been 147 days since my last drink, 158 days since I last smoked, and I am incredibly proud of myself for that.
That matters more than anything.
Of course, not everything stayed perfectly on track. My sleep schedule has been all over the place again, staying up late and sleeping in. And naturally, my eating schedule has followed suit.
As I come out of this fog, getting my sleep and nutrition back into alignment feels like my biggest priority.
🌸 Gentle Rebuilding
I am also being very intentional about how I approach this next phase.
I know by now that being hard on myself does not work. Being critical does not create sustainable change. It just creates more resistance.
So I am choosing softness.
I am choosing patience.
I am choosing to trust the process.
I will get back to my ideal routines. Maybe not overnight, maybe not even this week. But little by little, I will get there.
🔔 Moments That Shifted Something
Last weekend, Heath and I went to a sound bath at my yoga studio, and it was incredible.
Neither of us had ever done one before, and we both left feeling lighter, both physically and energetically.
Heath has been dealing with a shoulder injury for over a year, and afterward he had more range of motion and less pain than he has had in a long time. He went in skeptical and came out a believer.
For me, it felt like the clouds started to part. I went in feeling heavy and disconnected, and I walked out feeling more present, more grounded, and more like myself.
Then Wednesday came.
I had my yearly oncology check up, and I am so happy to say that all of my bloodwork came back healthy and I am still cancer free. 🤍
I will go back in December for another scan, but for now, I am in the clear.
Heath took the day off to come with me, and we ended up spending the whole day together. We had brunch, went to the chiropractor, drove around listening to music, and he even came with me to restorative yoga that evening.
Something about that day felt like a turning point. The sound bath cleared the fog, and Wednesday felt like the beginning of rebuilding.
✨ Stepping Into Something New
This week, I also started a six week online Reiki course, and I am so excited about it.
For anyone unfamiliar, Reiki is a Japanese energy healing practice that supports the body’s natural healing processes, reduces stress, and promotes relaxation and overall wellbeing.
It is something I have been curious about for a long time, and I finally felt ready to say yes to it.
I am really proud of myself for investing in my healing in this way.
🌱 Moving Forward
Right now, I feel more like myself again. I feel hopeful. I feel grounded. I feel ready to expand again.
And I also know that contraction will come back at some point. That is just part of the rhythm.
But I trust myself more now. I trust that I can move through it with more awareness, more compassion, and more resilience each time.
This cycle was hard, but I handled it better than I ever have before.
I did not run from it.
I did not numb it.
I sat with it. I felt it. I honored it.
And now, I am ready for what comes next.
💜 A Little Reminder
Healing is not linear. It never has been.
There will be highs and lows, expansions and contractions, clarity and confusion. That is all part of the journey.
Be gentle with yourself. Trust yourself. You will make it through.
I love you all. Thank you for being here with me, and thank you for your patience while I took a step back.
Remember when you were a kid learning how to ride a bike? It was a struggle at first. You could understand the concepts of what to do, it just took some practice to learn how to actually do it. There was a lot of frustration at first.
But then… it just clicked. Remember that feeling? The feeling you got the first time when you pedaled by yourself and actually stayed up and balanced? In that moment, you probably thought, “Holy cow, I’m doing it! I’m actually doing it!”
Well, that’s kind of how I am feeling these days. And I have to tell you, it’s pretty amazing.
✨ The “Wait… I’m Actually Doing It” Moments
I keep having these little moments when I realize that I’m pretty consistently making different, better decisions. I’m making choices that work for me instead of against me. And every time I realize it, I think to myself “holy shit, I’m doing it! I’m actually doing it!”
Because I am. I’m actually doing it. I am getting better. I am creating a life that feels good. And I am so proud of myself.
🌿 Learning What Works for Me
I used to live my life based on what other people said and did. I was constantly comparing my life to others and I rarely ever gave myself the opportunity to learn what worked for me personally. Spoiler alert, forcing it never worked out well.
When I started this journey, I decided that one of my biggest goals was going to be finding what worked for ME, regardless of what other people might think about it. And it has not been easy, but it has SO been worth it.
I am learning to really tune into my body and listen to what it tells me. I am also learning to give myself a whole lot of grace if I end up having to change my plans or expectations based on how I am feeling at any given moment. I am also learning that circumstances change and I can adapt to those changes as they come if I just cut myself some slack.
🩸 Friday’s Lesson: Rest Over Rigid Plans
For example, last week I had planned to go to yoga Friday morning. I had it written in my planner, I had signed up in the app, I was ready to go. But then I ended up starting my period a few days early on Thursday which brought forth a dilemma. Should I still go? I said I was going, I told myself I was going, I just started this new routine, I didn’t want to let myself down.
But also, the thought of getting up early and going to the studio to be around other people and then doing a pretty intense workout on day 2 of my period sounded downright horrible. I spent some time reflecting on it and eventually decided that I would wait and see how I felt that morning and let my body tell me what it felt up to.
Surprising absolutely no one, Friday morning I woke up and my body told me it needed rest and gentle movement instead of a full hot yoga vinyasa session. So I logged into the app, cancelled my booking, and then went back to sleep for a little bit.
I kind of expected to be disappointed in myself for not following through with my plan. I expected the inner critic to pipe up and say “of course you didn’t go, you never follow through with things, you’re so lazy.” But instead, I actually felt genuinely proud of myself. I listened to what my body told me it needed, and then I provided it. And then I felt better. What a concept!
I spent the rest of the day being very gentle with myself. I got up and showered and did some gentle at home yoga. I tidied up around the house a little bit and just took things really slow. Once again, I expected to hear quite a bit from my inner critic, but she kept pretty quiet for most of the day, and it was pretty incredible.
🛁 Weekend Wintering & Small Joys
I spent the weekend fully resting and taking care of myself. I slept in, I read a good bit, I did some slow, gentle yoga, I went to go see the new Baz Luhrmann Elvis movie, EPiC (Elvis Presley in Concert), I went to Aldi for the first time, and I treated myself to some Waffle House.
I am pretty focused on my nutrition these days, but I am also allowing myself some balance. I would say about 80% of the food I eat is healthy and nutritious. But I do not restrict myself from treats or guilty pleasures when the urge arises. I happened to find myself near a Waffle House around dinner time, so I took the opportunity and ran with it and I regret nothing.
Sunday, Heath and I spent a majority of the day on the couch and it was delightful. I think we both really needed a no pressure, do nothing day. Again, I expected my inner critic to speak up and tell me I should be doing something productive, but she stayed pretty quiet. I let myself enjoy the day and it absolutely paid off.
I trusted that I needed to rest. And I trusted that allowing myself to fully rest would result in more energy later that I could use to take care of the chores around the house when I was feeling up to it. And that is exactly how it played out.
🧹 Monday Momentum
On Monday, I woke up feeling a lot more refreshed and ready to take on the day than I expected. I got up, got dressed and ready for the day, and then headed to the chiropractor. Then I came home and worked on cleaning up the house for most of the afternoon. My energy stayed pretty consistent throughout the day too, which I was grateful for.
🔥🧘♀️ A New Yoga Routine (That Actually Works)
Because I was feeling so much better, mentally and physically, on Monday evening I decided to try doing two yoga classes back to back, a hot vinyasa class followed by a warm restorative class. I was a little nervous because I didn’t really know what to expect. I have done both of the classes before, just not back to back.
I figured it would either be the best idea ever or I would absolutely hate it. I also figured I would find out pretty quickly one way or the other. I told myself that I would never know unless I tried, so I tried and thankfully it was a success!
Going forward I think that will be my new routine for Mondays and Wednesdays.
When I first signed up for my monthly membership, my plan was to do a restorative class on Monday and Wednesday evenings and then do my hot vinyasa class on Friday mornings, but now that I know how good my body feels after doing the two classes back to back, I am going to stick to evening practices and stop trying to force a morning class.
I had told myself that doing a morning class would get me up and moving and it would turn me into a morning person. I realize now that I was comparing myself to others. But then I noticed what was happening in my body when I would think about going to the morning class, and I realized that I was trying to force it.
I quickly understood that ultimately I was trying to change myself for no other reason than “it’s what the world says is the right thing to do.” So I stopped myself, I cut that shit out, and now I am really excited about my new Monday and Wednesday night routine.
⛈️ Grace in Real Time
Today being Wednesday, the plan was to go back to yoga and do back to back classes again tonight, but the weather is looking like it’s going to get a little sassy. Out of an abundance of caution, I decided to skip this evening’s classes and instead do a practice at home.
As much as I want to be back in the studio and devoting 2 uninterrupted hours to taking care of my body and spirit, I really have no interest in being out on the roads during a hail storm.
Again, I am giving myself some grace. Yes, I am a little disappointed that I am not going to yoga tonight. But I also know that it is the safest call and I am proud of myself for listening to my instincts.
I can always go to tomorrow evening’s class if the weather is in better shape. The whole point of going to these classes is to take care of myself and make myself feel good. Being worried about my safety getting there and back is not something that will contribute to my overall wellbeing.
🚲 Learning to Regain My Balance
I am learning to go with the flow and adjust my plans as needed, and it’s feeling really good. I didn’t realize just how rigid I had been with myself before, how much I would beat myself up if circumstances changed and I needed to adjust accordingly.
I would instinctively and incessantly beat myself up for things I had no control over and it was absolutely exhausting. Now I am learning to only worry about what I can control, what is actually right in front of me.
I am letting my focus be on gently and compassionately taking care of myself instead of forcing myself because of some abstract rule my inner critic created in my head.
Much like riding a bike, I also know that this is not something I will just suddenly forget how to do. Now that I have learned how to prioritize making decisions like this, learned how to listen to what my body is telling me, I know that even when I have bad days, even when I wobble a bit, I will still be able to regain my balance and prioritize what I need in each moment.
🌙 Quiet Progress, Big Pride
I am feeling really proud of myself these days and it’s just exciting. It’s not loud or extravagant or glamorous. It’s a quiet kind of exciting that tells me I am on the right track, that I am slowly but surely creating the life I have always dreamed of.
I am actually doing it and it’s a pretty incredible feeling.
Thank you all for following along with me as I continue to learn and adjust and discover new paths to happiness. I am so grateful for your company on this journey!
I was in my car headed to the yoga studio, listening to some 60s hits, singing and vibing along, feeling very cute in my new matching yoga leggings and crop top set, and genuinely excited to arrive at my destination and attend my first restorative yoga class.
Then, seemingly out of nowhere, it hit me. I was doing something that younger versions of me could have only dreamed of. And not only was I just doing it, I was doing it without having to completely psyche myself up for it. And until that moment, I didn’t realize just how huge that was for me. But once I did, it felt like I was flooded with an inner bright light, some sort of a total energy vibration.
🌿 Slow Growth, Big Realizations
One of the main themes of this journey so far has been going slow and creating manageable growth, and as a result, I hadn’t really appreciated just how far I have come recently. When I did, I was flooded with a sense of pride and excitement.
I just couldn’t get over how impressed I was with myself that I was going to this class at all, not to mention going by myself. I just decided that I wanted to start going to yoga classes, and I started going. I didn’t wait until I could find someone to go with me, I just started going on my own. That level of independence is pretty huge for me.
And it’s been building slowly in the background, so slowly that I didn’t even realize it until I stopped and looked around and noticed where I was.
And I gotta tell you, it feels pretty freaking good.
🎯 The Goals I Set (And Actually Reached)
When I first started therapy in November, my therapist asked me what some of my goals were. Two of them were be more independent and feel more confident overall. Today I can say with great pride that in the last 3 months I have made some incredible progress on both of those.
I know for certain that I only got here because I took a lot of small steps. If I had tried to make this huge change overnight, I would have sent myself into a full on panic. I know this because I have tried many, many times. And it never ever worked out. So this time, I went slow and I focused on improving just 1% at a time. Sometimes, on the harder days, I would be satisfied with even just half a percent.
And guess what? It absolutely worked.
🔎 Zooming Out & Seeing The Big Picture
Since my epiphany Monday night, I have been focusing more on zooming out and seeing more of the big picture, letting myself really appreciate how far I’ve come. And I now know I have made a lot more progress than I was giving myself credit for before.
Overall, my anxiety is significantly less than it has ever been. And I think a lot of that is due to the fact that I am being consistently nicer to myself in my head. Not just nice, but supportive and encouraging even.
The amount of times I tell myself “good job!” in a day now is staggering. Before this journey, that wasn’t even a part of my internal vocabulary. All I ever did was criticize myself, but shifting my perspective and simply bringing awareness to my inner monologues has made a huge difference over time.
Slowly but surely I transitioned from constantly judging myself to curiously observing myself. And it absolutely changed the game.
🧠 Presence = Better Memory (Who Knew?)
I’ve also noticed that my memory has improved. I used to walk into rooms and have no idea why I walked in them, but that hasn’t happened in quite a while.
Also, pretty consistently I would come up with some sort of a question in my mind, and then think “I’m going to look that up,” and then by the time I pulled up Google I would have forgotten what I was going to google. It was happening daily, like multiple times a day. But now, it doesn’t seem to be a problem anymore.
I am a lot more present and focused on what is right in front of me, and less likely to be thinking about 12 different things all at once.
🕯️ The Power of Intention & Mindfulness
I have learned that intention and mindfulness have been incredibly significant in this journey and my progress thus far. I am actively focusing on paying attention to what I am doing in each moment, no matter what it is.
If I am brushing my teeth, I am doing my best to give all of my focus to brushing my teeth in that moment. If I am resting, I am doing my best to give all of my attention to my restful activity, whatever that may be. If I am working on a blog post, I am focusing all of my attention on writing instead of letting my brain tell me all the other things I could or should be doing.
And that shift has been monumental in the overall big picture.
💜 A Version of Me I’m Proud Of
It has been a little over 3 months since I started therapy and I can very happily report that I am genuinely more independent and feeling more confident than I did when I started. I look at the woman I am now and I am just so proud.
Look at me, going to yoga classes on my own, investing in tools that will help me take better care of myself without guilt, taking myself out on little dates fairly frequently, celebrating all my little wins, and genuinely being intentionally kind to myself.
And it’s all possible because I didn’t force any of it. I slowed down, and gave myself permission and space to let go of the pressure and just exist without any expectations. I started learning how to trust myself and how to trust that everything happens right on time.
✨ Exactly Where I’m Meant To Be
This evening I am going back for my second restorative class and I am so excited for it. As I was finishing up the rest of this post, I got a message from the owner of the studio thanking me for signing up for my monthly membership and asking me how I was liking it and if I had any questions.
I already knew that this was the absolute right thing for me to be doing in the right place, but this just solidified it even more.
I am so grateful for all the little steps I have taken, on the good days and the harder ones, to get me where I am today. I feel so confident that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this exact moment in life.
Thank you for being here and for following along on this journey with me! I am so grateful that I get to share all of this with you, one step at a time.
Yesterday marked four months of Bailz has a Blog, which honestly feels a little surreal. Part of me feels like I just started, and part of me feels like I’ve been doing this much longer than four months. Both parts of me are incredibly proud.
After spending so much of my life living in fear, it feels really amazing to be sharing my life, my journey, my thoughts, my feelings, and my experiences with all of you lovely people. Creating this space has easily been one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I started scared… and I kept showing up. And here we are. 💜
🐾 Remembering Chelsea
Yesterday was also Chelsea’s Gotcha Day. We lost her in September, and while we know it was the right decision and we’re grateful she’s no longer in pain, it was still a hard day.
I miss her smile and her sass. She was truly one of a kind. 🤍
❄️ Deep in Wintering
I’m still very much in my wintering phase, and I’m honestly enjoying it more than I ever expected. I’m hibernating. I’m cocooning. I’m resting, healing, and honoring the process to the best of my ability.
Each day, I feel a little more calm — and that realization alone has been huge. I’m starting to feel present in my body and in my life in a way I don’t think I ever have consistently before.
For most of my life, rest came with criticism. Wanting rest came with shame. Enjoyment came with a warning not to get used to it. Quiet moments felt wasted. My mind was always racing, multitasking, performing, trying to impress — and I was never fully in any moment.
Now I see how deeply that hurt me.
These days, quiet moments are the goal. 🤍
📖 Reading Slowly, On Purpose
I’m still working my way through The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and I’m intentionally taking my time with it. Throughout the book, Tolle includes small pause symbols, encouraging the reader to stop, become still, and really experience what’s just been read before moving on.
That practice has been exactly what I needed.
Before starting this book, I had already noticed how much I rushed through everything I read. I knew it was a problem, but I didn’t really know how to fix it. These built-in pauses have been helping me learn how to slow down and absorb instead of sprinting to the next page. I’m also really enjoying the question-and-answer format — it feels approachable and grounding.
More than anything, the book has helped me realize how much priority I’ve always given to thinking and analyzing — and how much pain, stress, and anxiety that ultimately caused me. The more I take my thoughts as absolute truth, the more power I give away.
So now, I’m practicing being what Tolle calls “the watcher” of my thoughts and emotions, rather than letting them become my identity. It’s a slow practice, but one that’s already changing so much for me.
🩺 Signs of Real Progress
On Monday, I had my third set of progress scans with the chiropractor, and the results were honestly incredible. Comparing my original scans from October to my current ones, I can hardly believe how much progress I’ve made in such a short amount of time.
Because of that improvement, I’ve been cleared to reduce my visits from three times a week to two times a week. Going forward, I’ll be going on Mondays and Thursdays, and we’ll reassess in a month.
It’s a bittersweet feeling. I’m incredibly grateful for the healing — releasing tension and trauma from my body has been life-changing. But I’m also a little sad about the routine change. That office has become a home away from home, and even on my hardest days, I’ve looked forward to being there.
Today is the first Wednesday I haven’t gone, and it feels… weird. Like I’m forgetting something. But I also know this change is a sign of growth — and that matters.
(And yes, I am very excited to go tomorrow. 😅)
🧘♀️ Listening to My Body
Overall, my body feels so much better. I’m holding far less tension, my stress levels are lower than they’ve ever been, my neck and shoulders feel better, and I’m sleeping more deeply.
The one area still holding tightness is my hips, so I’ve been using yoga to focus on hip and lower back opening. I can already feel the difference — physically and emotionally. I feel more fluid and less rigid, and that shift has been really powerful.
🛁 A Little Extra Care
Today, I leaned into some extra self-care, and I’m feeling deeply relaxed.
I started with yoga — some focused on hip opening, some restorative and meditative. Then I made a DIY face mask with plain Greek yogurt and raw honey, soaked in a bath with a Flewd bath soak, scrubbed head to toe with a Dead Sea salt scrub, shaved my legs, and moisturized thoroughly.
I feel pampered, calm, and really proud of myself for taking care of my body and my nervous system. ✨
🌱 Simple, Not Easy
This part of my journey may not look glamorous or exciting — but that doesn’t make it any less important. Slowing down and being present sounds simple, but it’s not easy. It’s taken weeks for it to feel less strange.
I’m not perfect at it. It’s a practice. But I’m getting better every day — and that feels pretty amazing.
I hope you can take a few moments to slow down today too. Check in with yourself. Be present where you are. I promise, it’s worth it.
Thank you for being here. I’m so incredibly grateful for you. 💜
Wintering is going pretty well. The more I am focusing on slowing down, the better I am feeling. The less pressure I am putting on myself, the easier I am moving through my days. The less I am focusing on how things might look and instead prioritizing how they feel, the more I am coming back to myself. Little by little, I feel myself coming back to life, and it’s pretty awesome. 💜
🎄 A Quiet Christmas, Exactly What We Needed
Heath and I had a very quiet Christmas, and I think it was exactly what we both needed. We made some nice meals, we stayed in our pajamas, we watched Stranger Things, we napped, we snacked, we drove around Fort Worth and looked at Christmas lights on Christmas Eve. We just took it all very moment by moment, no big plans, no expectations, just being together and enjoying it. It was pretty wonderful. ✨
🎥 The End of an Era & The Feelings I Didn’t Expect
During this past week, we finished watching Taylor Swift’s The End of An Era documentary series and thoroughly enjoyed every single moment of it, even though some of it triggered some emotional responses I wasn’t expecting.
It bought up a lot of energy and emotions that I didn’t realize I had been burying for a long time, highlighting things that for a long, long time I didn’t even realize weren’t anything but normal because I didn’t know any other options existed.
Rather than continuing to bury it all deep down, I gave myself the permission and the space to feel it all as I watched and honestly it was exactly what I needed.
💔 Grief, Tears, and Seeing What I Didn’t Have
Mostly, seeing Taylor’s relationship with her family just gutted me. Specifically, watching her interact with her mom. There was zero stress, zero codependency, only genuine unconditional love and support. No backhanded comments, no stirring the pot for attention, no judgmental faces, no attempts to belittle or strong arm…
I just, I can’t even imagine what that must have been like growing up. To have your parents be 100% supportive of who you are and what you think and feel. To be so accepted at face value without any attempts to change or shape you into the version of you they created in their heads — the version they wanted you to be instead of who actually you are… I just can’t even imagine. And it triggered a lot of tears. 🥺
It brought up a lot of grief for the younger versions of me who learned over and over again to make herself small to be accepted, who learned to push down her desires and dreams because they would be judged and discouraged.
But I let myself feel those feelings in full force as I watched. After we finished watching, I sat down and journaled about it, I talked to Heath about it for a while, and ultimately I excavated a lot of the memories I had buried and acknowledged them instead of hiding them.
It didn’t change what happened, but it helped change my relationship with it. 🤍
🌊 Letting the Feelings Move Through Me
As I sit here writing this post, I am still feeling the sting of all of it. It still hurts. But instead of hiding from it, I am letting myself feel it. I am acknowledging it all for what it is.
Emotions are just energy in motion, so the more I let myself feel them and let them move through me instead of holding on to them or shoving them down deep and pretending like they aren’t there, the less painful they will be.
I am making slow but steady progress, and I know that the slower and steadier I keep my pace, the more sustainable my growth and healing will be. So I am just taking things one moment at a time and resisting the urge to force or rush. 🌿
🎶 Music Is a Nonnegotiable
Recently, I have learned that music is truly a nonnegotiable part of my life. Over the past few months, I have been spending a majority of my time listening to podcasts or audiobooks, and music has taken a bit of a backseat.
But as I have committed to this wintering era and let go of the push of productivity, I have rediscovered how integral music is to my soul. Whether I am listening to it, watching documentaries about it, or learning to play it on the piano, it just makes me feel so authentically me and I am so grateful for it.
I have been listening to The Tortured Poets Department on repeat for the past few days, I am learning how to play The 1 from folklore on piano, and I have been singing and humming a lot in the spaces in between. 🎹✨
🧠 Neuroplasticity & Giving Myself Permission to Learn
For a long time, I told myself that because I didn’t start playing music when I was a kid, because I haven’t been formally trained as a singer, because I have no real training in any of it at all, that its too late. I missed my chance to become a musician in any capacity. I just thought I could be a fan and that was it.
But one of the benefits of all my podcast learning and mental health research recently is that I have learned about the concept of neuroplasticity.
For a long time we were all taught that once you hit a certain age, you just are the way you are and you can’t change — “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” But recent scientific research has proved that to be completely false, and in actuality, the brain can change and grow and develop new skills throughout your entire life.
Whether you are 8 or 80, you can develop new abilities. Your brain is a muscle, you just need to work it. 💪🧠
So that is what I am doing. I am working my music muscle as much as I can. I just want to surround myself with music as much as possible — whether I am creating it or consuming it, I just need it around all the time.
🎹 Piano Without Pressure
When I first started teaching myself piano, I was getting frustrated that I wasn’t able to learn a song in one sitting. That I couldn’t watch a YouTube tutorial and master it completely in one go. I was still very much in the mindset of rushing and rigidity.
I was only focused on getting to the finished product instead of enjoying the process, and that was a big, BIG mistake. I ended up taking about a week away from the keyboard and to be quite honest I had mixed feelings about it.
Part of me was proud of myself for not forcing myself, for giving myself the grace to take the time away. But the other part of me was sad because I still wanted to play, I still wanted to get better.
So I made a deal with myself. I was going to pick it back up again but without the pressure. The goal is to enjoy playing, not to be perfect. If at any point I find myself falling into the perfectionist trap, I take a step away to recalibrate and then I come back. And that change in mindset has really changed my whole experience. ✨
💄 Makeup, Self-Care, and Doing It for Me
Other than getting my makeup done for my boudoir shoot last month, I cannot remember the last time I put on makeup and was genuinely excited about it. A few times here and there I have put on some lipstick to go out for a nice dinner or something, but I have almost always felt a very overwhelming sense of imposter syndrome the entire time I had it on.
In line with my rigid way of thinking, I told myself that because I hadn’t worn makeup in a long time, I just couldn’t wear it at all.
I also have realized now that deep down, I was still so physically and emotionally drained that it’s just felt like a lot of work to put on makeup that I would just be taking off later. That thought process trickled into every aspect of my thoughts about my physical appearance.
I rarely ever styled my hair (curls are kind of an in depth, time consuming process), I went about a month without shaving my legs, I really just didn’t care what I looked like. Or at least that is what I told myself.
I realize now that I actually did care, and because I wasn’t making the time for any of it, I was ultimately neglecting myself — my inner child — the part of me who needed me to show up even for the “superficial” stuff.
I told myself that because I rarely ever leave the house, no one would really see me, so I told myself none of it was worth it. Once again, I was still so focused on how something looked to outsiders rather than how it felt to me.
Bottom line, I didn’t think I was worth any of the effort. Rookie mistake. One I have since started working to rectify. 🤍
💋 The Taylor Lip Combo & A Tiny Spark of Joy
In The End of an Era series, Taylor showed the lip combo that she wore for the tour and it sparked something inside me. I wanted it. Like really, really wanted it.
But initially I talked myself out of it. I stuck with my rigid thinking and went on with life. Then we watched the Eras Tour Final Show concert film and I had that feeling again — I just wanted that lip combo SO badly.
I knew with complete certainty that I wanted to take the “Taylor Swift lip look” and make it my own. Instead of pairing it with a full face of makeup like she does for the show, I wanted to just have a mostly bare face, maybe some eyeliner, and let the red lip really be the focus.
So I got online and ordered the lip combo almost immediately. I wanted to do it just for me, so I did. And it felt sincerely amazing. 💄✨
Of course, every other Swiftie on the planet had the same idea, so inevitably both products are on back order and it will be a few weeks before they arrive. But that’s okay — it gives me something to look forward to. I’ll take it.
The important thing is that I have shifted my perspective to doing things for me because I want to, not because of how it will look or how other people will receive it.
Physical self care has become a priority again. I have been doing some DIY all natural face masks to help balance out my skin again, and I ordered myself some new eyeliner to start small and start putting in effort to my appearance for the simple reason that I want to.
This morning I put on some of that new eyeliner and some red lipstick I already had and I have to say… I am feeling myself today. 😌💋
🌙 Showing Up for My Inner Child
I am doing my best to listen to my inner child and show up for her when she asks for things. I am trying to be present in the moment and to let go of the performative pressure I used to put on myself without even realizing it.
In the beginning, I criticized my piano skills and tried to force things because I felt like I needed to record them and share them. That that would somehow justify the time I was spending on it. I felt like if I couldn’t show off my progress, post evidence of it, I was wasting my time. Once again, so very focused on everyone else instead of myself. But now we are shifting that perspective. Maybe one day in the future, I will record myself playing piano and post it here, but that is not the reason why I am practicing. That is not the ultimate goal. I am practicing because I enjoy the activity of playing piano. I am doing it for me. And that is enough.
I am taking care of myself for me. I am trying to consistently show myself that I am worth the effort, on the good days and the harder days.
I am trying to be gentle with myself and learn what brings me joy and what brings me stress. I am really trying to understand the “why” behind my actions and feelings, getting curious rather than critical or judgmental.
As long as my motivation for something is joy, I am going for it. I am letting go of worrying how it might look to others and really trying to only focus on how it feels for me. It’s a complete shift in perspective but I know its necessary. ✨
🤍 Proud of This Version of Me
I feel proud of myself today. I feel proud of the wintering I am going through and the discoveries it is bringing me.
I look forward to the journey ahead and experiencing future versions of myself — seeing where I will be in 6 months, a year from now — but I am also honoring this exact version of myself right now because, lets be real, she is pretty awesome too. 💜✌🏻
💬 A Question for You
I’d love to hear from you:
What has been bringing you joy lately — especially the kind that doesn’t look productive, impressive, or “useful,” but feels nourishing all the same?
If you feel comfortable sharing, drop a comment below. Your answer might be exactly what someone else needs to read today. 💜
✨ Want to Follow Along?
If you’ve been enjoying these reflections and want to continue following along as I navigate wintering, healing, joy, and slowing down, I’d love for you to subscribe.
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It’s been a few days since my last post, and I’ve really been trying to slow down and focus on being gentle with myself. Although, admittedly, I’ve been struggling with it. I’m feeling better today, but the in-between was rougher than I anticipated.
After my post on Friday, I felt a huge amount of vulnerability. On one hand, I was incredibly proud of myself for sharing everything I did. But at the same time, I felt pretty depleted — it took a lot of energy to muster up the courage to say those things out loud.
🎵 The Concert I Almost Skipped (But Absolutely Needed)
Friday night we went to a concert, and every bit of me wanted to skip it. I was drained, I was tired, I was not feeling 100% by any means. But we were going to see one of Heath’s favorite bands, NEEDTOBREATHE, and we’d had these tickets for months. I couldn’t bring myself to deprive him of the experience, so I pushed through — and I am so glad I did. I know without a doubt that I was supposed to be there.
The opener was a woman named Bre Kennedy. I had never heard of her before, but now? I absolutely love her. From the very first song, she grabbed my heart and didn’t let it go. Her voice was stunning, her lyrics beautiful, and I was literally moved to tears. And once they started, they didn’t stop.
But of course — my inner critic immediately piped up:
“Oh my god, stop crying! People are going to see you! What are they going to think?!”
Still, for one of the first times in a long time, I chose not to listen. I let the tears flow. I stayed in the moment. I let myself feel.
And yes, I ugly cried through most of her set. And I regret nothing.
📚 The Alchemist, Omens, and the Nudge I Needed
During her set, Bre talked about her upcoming album, The Alchemist, named after Paulo Coelho’s book. This hit me hard. I had bought that book on my last trip to Guthrie, started reading it, then put it on the shelf when I got home because I became wrapped up in all my Happiness Project reading.
The moment she mentioned it, I knew I needed to pick it back up again.
After the show, Heath noticed me eyeing her at the merch table and asked if I wanted to meet her. My instinct was no, because interacting with people I admire makes me panic — but I said yes.
I told her how much her music moved me, how I cried through the whole thing, and how she inspired me to restart The Alchemist. She was so kind, so gracious, so warm. I almost cried again talking to her. I’m so glad I took the chance.
The next day, I restarted The Alchemist from the beginning, and instantly felt immersed again — in the story, the Personal Legend, the Soul of the World, the omens. It reinforced everything I’ve been feeling lately:
I am in the messy middle. I am doing the work. And I am on the right path.
🌿 Therapy, Inner Critics, and Blooming Slowly
I had therapy yesterday, and it went really well. Each session makes me more confident that I’ve finally found the right therapist. We talked a lot about childhood trauma and how those experiences still color the way I treat myself now — especially the way my inner critic talks to me.
You would think that getting sober is a HUGE accomplishment that even my inner critic couldn’t argue with, right? Wrong.
She said:
“Obviously you should be sober! Why didn’t you do it sooner? You’re so late to the game!”
She can be… a lot.
I told my therapist how I’m struggling with wanting everything to happen faster — I want to be further along than I am. And she gave me an analogy that struck me deeply:
When a flower blooms, it expands… and then it pauses. It contracts a little to gather energy. Without those pauses, it wouldn’t bloom at all — its petals would fall off.
WOW. I loved that.
It was exactly what I needed. I don’t want to lose my petals. I want to bloom slowly and stay intact. That means I have to pause. I have to rest. I have to let myself contract so I can grow again.
The past few days have been my pause-and-contract phase. Today, I feel like I’m blooming again.
📖 Books, Chiropractic Care, and Little Moments of Self-Care
My therapist recommended a new book — Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May — and it arrived today. I’m excited to start it tonight.
This morning I went to the chiropractor, then this afternoon I got a haircut. It felt so nice to pamper myself a little.
Tomorrow morning I have my second progress scan with the chiropractor. The first scan showed enormous improvement and brought me to tears. I know this next one will too.
I feel so much more centered, grounded, and connected to my body than I did even a month ago. These adjustments have helped regulate my nervous system in ways I didn’t even realize were possible.
💜 Gratitude for Where I Am Now
Instead of focusing on “what ifs,” I’m focusing on gratitude.
I am grateful that I have the opportunity to do this work. Grateful that I can afford therapy and chiropractic care. Grateful that I have a husband who encourages me every step of the way. Grateful that I quit my job when I did. Grateful that I started my blog, found my chiropractor, found my therapist, quit drinking, quit smoking — when I did.
I’m following the omens. I’m working toward my own Personal Legend. It’s messy. It’s beautiful. And I feel so lucky to be here.
I am doing this for every younger version of me who couldn’t. For every future version of me who will benefit. And for the current version of me who keeps showing up — on the good days and the harder ones too.
💬 A Question for You
Before you go, I’d love to hear from you:
Where are you in your own blooming process right now — expanding, contracting, or somewhere beautifully in between?
Share in the comments if you feel comfortable. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today. 🌿
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Yesterday marked two months of Bailz Has a Blog and I honestly cannot believe how far I’ve come in such a short time. When I launched this space, I was still in rough shape—physically, mentally, emotionally—and deep in denial about it. I wasn’t sleeping enough, eating enough, or caring for myself in even the most basic ways.
But then I started documenting everything. I started looking inward. I started noticing what wasn’t working… and then fixing it. I started celebrating victories. And damn… I am so freaking proud of myself.
💋 Today Was My Boudoir Photoshoot (!!)
All week long, I had been really, really nervous about it—honestly, almost to the point of dreading it. Somehow, this thing I once wanted became something I felt like I had to do. I didn’t even notice the shift until this morning while writing my morning pages.
Last night, I prepped in all the ways—Pilates, exfoliating, shaving, moisturizing, curating my playlist—but I was going through the motions. No excitement. Just nerves.
And then this morning, while journaling, it hit me: This was all for ME. I wanted this. I chose this. It was never an obligation—it was a gift to myself. That realization flipped a switch. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to get to the studio.
🎶 Once the Music Started… Game On
When I arrived, we jumped straight into hair and makeup. I turned on my playlist. And from the first pose, when the photographer showed me the preview on her camera… it was OVER for any remaining self-doubt. The second I saw myself, I fully stepped into it.
By the end, I was walking around the studio completely naked like it was nothing. I felt comfortable. Beautiful. Confident in a way I have never felt before in my life.
I genuinely could’ve kept shooting for another hour. I didn’t want it to end. I felt like a goddess. I felt like me.
📸 Sneak Peeks + Floating on Cloud Nine
Once I got home, I got a text from the photographer—she posted the sneak peeks early.
HOLY. CRAP.
You guys… they are even better than I imagined. I can’t wait to see the full gallery!
Also, I’m keeping my makeup on until bedtime because I’m obsessed—and Heath is taking me out tonight because he said I look “too good not to show off.” 🥰
🌹 If You’ve Ever Wanted To Do a Boudoir Shoot… DO IT.
Find a photographer whose vibe feels right. Send the inquiry. Book the shoot. Do it for you.
In the iconic words of Moira Rose:
Take a thousand, naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think, “Oh, I’m too spooky.” Or, “Nobody wants to see these tiny boobies.” But, believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, “Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!”
This is maybe the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I can’t believe I almost talked myself out of it—right up until this morning.
💬 Your Turn
I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
Have you ever done a boudoir photoshoot? Would you ever want to?
What’s something you’ve always wanted to do just for YOU?
What helps you reconnect with your confidence when you lose it?
What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done for yourself?
Are you more nervous-excited or excited-nervous when trying something new?
💜 Enjoying the journey?
If you’re loving these posts and want to follow along with every win, wobble, lesson, and breakthrough — subscribe below so you never miss a moment. I’d love to have you on this ride with me. ✨
Unfortunately, I am still not sleeping through the night. Although, the experience has shifted. I am no longer waking up drenched in night sweats (HOORAY! 🙌) — but now, instead of 3 AM, my body stirs at 4:45 AM.
At first, I chalked it up to the time change and my system still adjusting to my new sleep rhythm. But when it continued, I got curious — and looked into what that time means through the lens of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).
🌬️ The 4:45 AM Connection — Lung Time
According to the TCM body clock, 4:45 AM falls within the Lung time, which governs breath, grief, letting go, and renewal.
So what does that mean for me? It’s actually a good sign. It means my liver is no longer stagnant — the focus has now shifted to my lungs for deeper processing and emotional release. The energy is moving, evolving, and finding balance.
It feels like progress — slow, steady, sacred progress. ✨
🍃 What I’m Doing to Support My Lungs
I asked ChatGPT to help me map out a gentle plan to support lung qi, and here’s what I’m incorporating this week:
🌿 Herbal Support
Continue nightly tea (peppermint + milk thistle + dandelion root) for liver support
Add morning peppermint tea to open and nourish the lung channel
🌸 Breathwork
Gentle breathing exercises when I wake up at night
Deep, slow inhalations through the nose; soft, extended exhales through the mouth
☕ Nourishment
More bone broth, oats, and warm lemon water for moisture and warmth
Soothing, comforting foods to nurture lung energy
💫 Movement + Ritual
Upper-body stretching morning and night to open the chest
Rubbing castor oil + peppermint essential oil on my chest before bed (using an old shirt or castor oil pack because castor oil stains!)
While I’d love a full, uninterrupted night of sleep, I’m also proud of how attuned I’m becoming to my body — learning its signals, honoring its wisdom, and celebrating each new layer of healing. 🌙
🕊️ Healing, One Step at a Time
This journey has transformed every part of me — physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Each small shift feels like a new chapter opening.
On Thursday, I reached out to a therapist whose profile deeply resonated with me — and within hours, I was on a consultation call with her. We talked about trauma, healing goals, and approaches to therapy, and the connection felt instantaneous.
By the end of our call, I cried — not out of fear, but out of relief. Because for the first time in a long while, I felt truly seen and understood. It just felt right.
Now I’m scheduled for my first appointment on Tuesday, and I couldn’t be more excited to continue this healing process with her guidance.
I know that I’m doing a pretty great job with everything I’ve been doing on my own, but I also know I can only go so far solo. I need support, coaching, and encouragement for the moments when things get heavy again. So I used the positive momentum I’m riding now to take care of the future version of me who might not have the energy to ask for help when she really needs it. 💫
💖 Following My Intuition
Over the past few months, I’ve made so many intuitive decisions that have reshaped my life:
Chiropractic Care: I reached out expecting a wait — instead, I got in the very next day. Now I go three times a week, and my body feels significantly better. My chest feels more open; I literally feel like I can breathe easier. 🌟
Boudoir Photoshoot: A long-time dream I finally said yes to. I found the perfect photographer, booked the shoot, and every step of the process has felt like my gut saying, “Yes. This is for you.” 💃
Therapy: I decided to find support now, while I’m doing better, so I’m prepared for the harder moments ahead. I did my research, found someone who checked all the boxes, reached out, and she was able to speak to me that very day. 🧠💜
Every time I show up for myself, the universe meets me halfway.
🌞 My Daily Reminder
Each morning, after my Morning Pages, I write this affirmation:
“If I keep showing up, life will reward me.” 💫
And it’s proving true, over and over again.
I’m learning that showing up for yourself — even when it’s hard, even when it’s quiet — is the most powerful spell you can cast.
Life really does reward those who keep choosing to heal. 🌿
🌷 If these words brought you comfort, consider sharing them with a friend who might need them too. Subscribe below to stay connected — we’re healing, growing, and showing up together. 💫
Yesterday I had my Week 4 Artist Date, and it was truly lovely. For this week, I decided to take my inner artist on a little date to Trinity Park here in Fort Worth — and take a walk. I didn’t listen to anything while I walked; I just moved and soaked in the natural beauty of the park. Just me and my thoughts. 🦆🌳
🌿 A Visit with the Ducks
When I arrived, I parked by the duck pond, so before I got started, I spent some time by the water just watching the ducks and geese. That felt pretty special in itself.
When I was little, one of my favorite activities with my great-grandmother was feeding the ducks and geese at the pond near her house. We’d stop at the store for day-old bread and then spend the afternoon by the water. (Side note: now I know better — bread isn’t great for them 😅 — but I didn’t back then.)
It was such a sweet reminder of childhood to sit by the pond and hear the quacks and splashes and see families making those same memories. I actually got a little teary 🥲 — I felt my great-grandmother with me, proud of the woman I’m becoming, cheering me on.
One goose even came right up to me and started pecking at my bracelets — like it was trying to say hello. I’m pretty sure that was Meme’s spirit dropping by. Even if it wasn’t, I’m choosing to believe it 🕊️.
🚶♀️ The Walk Itself
After sitting by the pond, I set off down the trail — a little over a mile each way. I wasn’t rushing or trying to turn it into a workout (though I did start my Apple Watch activity 😉). I just walked at whatever pace felt natural in the moment, breathing deeply and letting my thoughts flow.
Texas still hasn’t gotten the memo that it’s November — it was sunny and 77°F ☀️ — but I wasn’t complaining. The weather was perfect. I went around lunch time, so the park was quiet and peaceful. For a while, I forgot I was in the middle of a big city. It was just me, the trees, the birds, and the path ahead.
I made it my little mission to smile and say hi to every person I passed — no small talk required, just simple connection. Some avoided eye contact, some smiled back enthusiastically, and one gentleman I passed twice even laughed when I said, “Hello again!” Kindness really is contagious. 💫
💤 Sleep Setbacks and Self-Compassion
The last couple of nights have been rougher for sleep — last night I woke up at 4:45 a.m. and was a bit sweaty again. Not terrible, but noticeable. While it’s disappointing that this issue still lingers, I’m choosing not to get discouraged. Healing isn’t linear. My hormones are shifting as I near my period, and I know that’s likely part of it. 🌙
So instead of spiraling, I’m focusing on being gentle with myself. When I wake up, I remind myself: I am safe. I am loved. I am okay. I’ll keep drinking my teas, journaling before bed, and showing up for myself — because I know I’m worth it. 🫖🕯️
🌸 Doing the Unglamorous Work
It’s not glamorous work — but it’s work I’m proud to be doing. For so long I avoided it — the feelings, the root causes, the habits. Now I’m doing the hard stuff even when I’m tired, cranky, or hormonal. I still write my morning pages. I still make my breakfast shake and take my supplements. I still move my body through walks, yoga, and Pilates. I still take myself on Artist Dates — even when I try to talk myself out of them until the last minute. 😉
And because I’m sticking with it, my life is changing for the better — step by step, page by page, day by day. 💪✨
🪷 A New Therapy Chapter
Today I took another big step: I started looking for a new therapist. I searched on Psychology Today for specialists in somatic therapy — the kind that integrates body and mind healing instead of relying solely on talk therapy. After reading several profiles, I found someone who feels like a perfect fit and sent her a message requesting a consultation. 🌿
I’ve done talk therapy before, and while venting always felt good, it never gave me the deep healing I was craving. I’m realizing that I need a more holistic approach — one that includes my mind, body, and spirit. So today, I stopped procrastinating and got started — and that alone feels like progress I can be proud of. 🩷
💫 Closing Thoughts
It’s days like this that remind me how much has shifted. I’m walking through healing — literally and metaphorically — and every step, every tear, every moment of presence matters. Here’s to listening to our bodies, honoring our inner artists, and continuing to show up for ourselves one gentle day at a time. 🌼
☀️ Thank you for walking beside me — both literally and metaphorically. 💜 Subscribe below to keep joining me for more Artist Dates, healing rituals, and quiet moments of self-discovery. 🌿
Bailz Has a Blog 