Hey, hi, hello! Happy Tuesday!
I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to talk about today, but I knew I wanted to show up. I’ve been wanting to get back into the rhythm of posting every other day—if not daily—and the only way to do that is to simply begin. So here we are, letting the words reveal themselves as they come.
🌙 A Night Out & a Small but Honest Lesson
This weekend, Heath and I got dressed up and went out to a lovely dinner at Wicked Butcher in downtown Fort Worth. The whole experience felt luxurious—perfectly crafted dishes, top-tier service, and even cucumber-infused water that tasted like spa-day elegance in a glass.
When we arrived, I slipped off to the restroom to freshen up. By the time I returned, there were two glasses of complimentary champagne at our table—courtesy of the reservation note saying we were celebrating our (belated) wedding. It was a beautiful gesture.
I hesitated. And then I made a decision: life is for living, and I wanted to celebrate us. So I toasted with Heath and enjoyed the small glass of champagne.
After that, I stuck to mocktails (a fresh blackberry lemonade that was chef’s kiss) and water.
Later that night, though, I woke up with spiraling anxiety over absolutely nothing. My muscles were clenched, my breath shallow, my mind sprinting like it was running in circles in the dark.
That tiny bit of alcohol—that tiny bit—still affected me.
Here’s what I realized afterward:
- I don’t regret the moment. It was lovely.
- But even a small amount is too much for my system.
- Going forward, I’m done with alcohol entirely.
Not from shame. Not from punishment. But from self-respect. Alcohol simply isn’t worth the cost to my nervous system or my peace.
🧘♀️ Moving My Body, Loving My Body
The past few days have gently brought me back into my movement routines. I’m walking daily on the walk pad and doing yoga every day—and it feels GOOD. Not dramatic, not performative. Just good.
Some days I move fast. Some days I move slow. Some days it’s a long yoga flow. Some days it’s 10 minutes.
But movement is movement. Showing up is showing up. And I’m proud of every version of myself that steps onto the mat or walk pad.
😴 Sleep Schedule Chaos (And a Loving Reset)
Sleep has been a little chaotic. Staying up later has made my whole routine slide later—breakfast, lunch, dinner, and my nighttime wind-down. Everything shifts together like dominoes, and I feel the effects.
Last night, I stayed up way past my bedtime finishing Shout! I was so entranced that I didn’t even realize the time until I closed the book and saw it was past midnight.
So this morning, I let myself sleep in to compensate. Tonight, the goal is to get back on my 9–9:15 bedtime and lights out by 10.
Structure can be loving. Flexibility can be loving, too. I’m learning to hold both.
💜 Therapy & Solo Costco Adventures
I have therapy this afternoon and I’m excited. Last time, I walked in feeling drained, so we spent the hour getting me grounded again. Today, we’re diving into new tools and practices to help me step deeper into authenticity—my biggest long-term goal.
After therapy, I’m doing my first solo Costco run in years, and honestly? I’m thrilled. I plan to walk each aisle slowly and treat the whole thing like a mindfulness exercise instead of a chaotic errand.
🌤️ The Quiet Kind of Good
Today, I feel good—not energized, not buzzing, not high on productivity. Just quietly calm. The kind of good I think I’ve been searching for my whole life. The kind that measures worth not by output but by inner softness.
I could do a few chores around the house today, and I might. But I don’t have to. I am certainly not going to force them.
Whatever version of today unfolds, I will choose it intentionally and without pressure.
💬 Your Turn!
What’s one small, gentle thing you’ve done for yourself recently that brought you a sense of calm or peace?
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Love always,
Bailz 💜
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